Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (1 Viewer)

[nadine06]

studies of religion teacher: now girls what did moses do...............come on this is yr 8 work?
[every body draws a blank]
Student: i know i know..... he built a ark to part the red sea to save the animals
teacher: geeeeeeeees who taught you in yr 8 i must congratlulate them (sarcastically)

student: dont u remeber it was you miss

teaccher hangs head in shame

 

[w00dy.]

we had one of the pe teachers stand up at a whole school assembly and told all the boys in year 8,9,10 that if they are no longer 'allowed to show off their bodies' by wearing muscle shirts or singlets at roller skating on thursday for sport. then one of the boys in our year decided to call out, so what are you wearing at the moment sir? (he was standing infront of the whole school preaching about muscle shirts, and tshirts and how they shouldnt be worn...yet he was wearing one too) he walked out of that assembly with the whole school and teaching staff laughing....

 

[bringbackshred]

we had one of the pe teachers stand up at a whole school assembly and told all the boys in year 8,9,10 that if they are no longer 'allowed to show off their bodies' by wearing muscle shirts or singlets at roller skating on thursday for sport. then one of the boys in our year decided to call out, so what are you wearing at the moment sir? (he was standing infront of the whole school preaching about muscle shirts, and tshirts and how they shouldnt be worn...yet he was wearing one too) he walked out of that assembly with the whole school and teaching staff laughing....

Niiiice.

 

[Sofstar]

DT teacher sets up a projector so that it goes onto the wall and he starts talking to us. He gets out his white board marker and puts a dot on the 'board' and then someone goes " Ah sir, that's the wall."


Some girls in my class were arguing over which The Veronicas is hotter and bio teacher walks along and goes yeah Jess.

Music captain has fake nails for social and cancelled her piano performance. A music teacher comes along and asks her if it was true and it was, so music teacher goes " Look, real musicians DON'T have nails" *she shows her no nails*

 

[van.tango]

Back in Yr 7, one of the lads was doing something he shouldn't have been in an Art class, and our teacher suddenly yelled "stop levitating, young man!"
English teacher last year discussing onomatopoeia: "can anyone show me a whiz?"
And then there's Mr Carroll, the world's best maths teacher:
"This is not the right cow to do!"
"Let's get to work and make little guinea pigs!"
"Being a boy, I can give one to a boy."
"One day, you will meet a type of person in your life, and you WILL meet them. You will ask them to go to the shops and buy you some jam, and they'll come back with peanut butter."

 

[simonloo]

Maths teacher: Please don't call Bob a tool. *Pause* Tools are useful.

 

[Sparcod]

In science.
"kids...say hello to Mr Stick"

 

[Triangulum]

English teacher: "Macbeth is written in Shakespearian language."

A different English teacher's stock line for people chewing gum: "Stop masticating at the back!"

Yet another English teacher, to someone talking incessantly: "Stand up and hold your tongue!"
[He does so]
Student: "Sir, can we point and laugh?"
Teacher: "Go ahead."

 

[watatank]

In science.
"kids...say hello to Mr Stick"

Hahaha oh my physics teacher used to always have a stick and always lifted it up and dropped it to demonstrate work done and potential/kinetic energy.

 

[bringbackshred]

Student quote (I think): The new slogan for Apple Jacks: "They don't taste like apples, but I don't give a fuck."

 

[princesskt]

Teacher coughs
Student: are you sick sir?
Teacher: yeah, now you can tell everyone I'm a fully sick maths teacher

 

[SiZmOs]

Art Teacher: Everybody, get out your books and draw a quick doodle.

Class: Erupts into laughter.

 

[bringbackshred]

Art Teacher: Everybody, get out your books and draw a quick doodle.

Class: Erupts into laughter.

Year 8 was fun for me as well.

 

[SiZmOs]

Maturity.

High School.

 

[m0ofin]

Student: (Reading something from textbook) Blah, blah, blah sex?
Teacher: Oh, yes please!
Class: ….
Teacher: (Walks out of class) God, I’m so embarrassed.

We’re playing a game of celebrity head.
Student: What does my person do?
Teacher: Children like to lick you.
Student: What?!
Teacher: Oh, sorry. You like to please little children.

The answer was Mr. Whippy, lol.

 

[Forbidden.]

Student: (Reading something from textbook) Blah, blah, blah sex?
Teacher: Oh, yes please!
Class: ….
Teacher: (Walks out of class) God, I’m so embarrassed.

We’re playing a game of celebrity head.
Student: What does my person do?
Teacher: Children like to lick you.
Student: What?!
Teacher: Oh, sorry. You like to please little children.

The answer was Mr. Whippy, lol.

pwnage

 

[w00dy.]

student singing: lets talk about sex baby... lets talk about sex
teacher comes and walks past singing
student: but not with you sir

 

[Redbeard]

My computer studies teacher told us about his computer one day, he said:
"My computer has this nifty feature, i put in a cd and it plays music back to me." He then said, "I know many of your computers probably don't do that though."

 

[SiZmOs]

Student: (Reading something from textbook) Blah, blah, blah sex?
Teacher: Oh, yes please!
Class: ….
Teacher: (Walks out of class) God, I’m so embarrassed.

We’re playing a game of celebrity head.
Student: What does my person do?
Teacher: Children like to lick you.
Student: What?!
Teacher: Oh, sorry. You like to please little children.

The answer was Mr. Whippy, lol.

Lol.

 

[Robert1961]

Mean Maths Teacher said to Irritating Student "I have forgotten more maths than you will ever learn son"

Bad Habits – A Geography Teacher – in a 40 minute lesson said over 50 ‘nows’ and over 40 ‘OKs’

Teacher had his car repainted from grey to white.
Student said “washed your car sir?”
Teacher canned that student (True story from the 70’s)