Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (5 Viewers)

[lpodnano]

Can't think of a good quote. Okay here's a bad one:
Math teacher: Okay you, what is the definition of equaliweight?
Student (smart): Huh?
Math teacher: Are you saying you do not know what equaliweight is?
Student: Uhh no I don't. Uhh... no.
Math teacher: Who knows what equaliweight is?\
[Noone puts their hand up]
Another Student: Can you say it again?
Math teacher: Equi-va-lent
Everyone: OHHHHHHHH!

Anyways, that was a weird quote.

 

[scardizzle]

During a fire drill i was returning to my locker to put my books back cause i knew it wasn't a real fire drill when a teacher turned to me and said: what the hell are you doing? for all you know, you could be on fire right now!

 

[cdjm92]

My chem teacher after I asked him a difficult question:

'I dont know. Thats the kind of thing you learn at university.'

ROFL

(After I asked her a difficult question)

CHEM TEACHER: "Ummm...I dont know, go ask a teacher...
ME: *raise eyebrows*
CHEM TEACHER: *laughs* "i mean a chem teacher...a DIFFERENT one!"

 

[cdjm92]

An Asian substitute who didnt have very good english and was passionatly hated by many (tho didnt realise it and loved "mingling" with students)
I cant remember the exact words so imagine hilariously bad English. I think it was a maths class

TEACHER: "You can do better handwriting than that"
ME: "No i really cant, look at all my work"
(friend laughs and strongly agrees)
TEACHER: "No, Im sure you could if you tried....
ME: *protesting*
TEACHER: *sits next to me, holds my hands and straightens my posture* "OK, imagine your writing a love letter your girlfriend, or to me."




The same teacher became my physics teacher a few years later

STUDENTS: "Mr C, what does this say? (pointing to students poster of the "Fagot" airplane)
TEACHER: "Fagot...it says Fagot right? Is that the name of this plane?
STUDENTS: *laughing*....yeah....looks like its a pretty cool plane huh?......

(later during lesson)
TEACHER: "Wow, you guys are working like fagots!" :rofl:

 

[_skinnedalive]

My advanced teacher comes out with some classics:

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“Oh I hate those things… Oh umm, Uh… well actually I dunno how to do one of those… just um yeah… whatever… I’m going to spontaneously combust in a minute”
He always goes off onto these random tangents:
“I don’t know how I even got onto that, but uhhhmm… yeeeeeaaaaah”<o></o>
“Ignore the rubric dot points if you like”<o></o>
“Hey Ben! Ben! Ben!... Ben! Ben! Ben! Ben! Ben! BEN! … SHUT UP!”<o></o>
“Do I have your permission, young men and women, children of the future, to begin our lesson? You multi-skillers you!”<o></o>
*Coughs* *snorts* Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.. maybe I have swine flu….”<o></o>

 

[Yasser Arafat]

what the fuck

 

[shcottydont]

i got a few

mostly maths teachers

Student: *arguing and uses the word 'but'*
Teacher: We ain't sheep or goats

Teacher: Don't use the 'f' word in this room
Student: What miss fire truck?
NEXT TIME
Teacher: We don't use the 'f' word in this room. AND I DON'T MEAN FIRETRUCK *said while staring at the student who said it last time*

Student: I can't do it!! AHH
Teacher: Well thats my quote of the day! 'Yo, bro I can't not do it bro'
*proceeds to write what he thought was said on the board*

While rubbing chalk off the board.
Teacher (yelling very loudly): EVERYBODY STOP!! *we all jump* Look at that chalk. One minute there gone the next.

Teacher while walking back into the room smelling surprisingly like pot.
'I am god, all hail me!'

In maths
Student: Sir, can you answer a question for me?
Teacher: That's what I'm here for.
Student: Whats root one plus root one?
Teacher: are you asking me what one plus one is???
Student: Yes sir.
Teacher: Shouldn't you know how to do that it's three?

 

[Tangent]

We had a new teacher for Drama in year 10. He spoke to our class to set the ground rules and stuff. Heres an exerpt from his speech

"What happens in drama, stays in drama. Now everybody lay on the floor and I'll turn out the lights."

 

[meilz92]

My advanced teacher comes out with some classics:

On writing essays: “Does it hurt? It should hurt!”<o></o>
“Oh I hate those things… Oh umm, Uh… well actually I dunno how to do one of those… just um yeah… whatever… I’m going to spontaneously combust in a minute”
He always goes off onto these random tangents:
“I don’t know how I even got onto that, but uhhhmm… yeeeeeaaaaah”<o>></o>>
“Ignore the rubric dot points if you like”<o>></o>>
“Hey Ben! Ben! Ben!... Ben! Ben! Ben! Ben! Ben! BEN! … SHUT UP!”<o>></o>>
“Do I have your permission, young men and women, children of the future, to begin our lesson? You multi-skillers you!”<o>></o>>
*Coughs* *snorts* Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.. maybe I have swine flu….”<o>></o>>

hahahhaahahaha

my chem teachers always goin on about how "theres a reason why you and i arent bursting into flames right now as i speak"

yet i can never remember what that reason is
lol

 

[addikaye03]

My yr 10 maths teacher used to say some funny things:

-When kids were talking or anything not relating to maths he would say " there's the door...use it...but don't expect it to be open when you want to come back". Fuck he used to say that ALOT.

-Same teacher used to always say "in a pig's eye it is" when people got the answer wrong haha

 

[StephanieYazmin]

lol too funny

 

[meilz92]

lol maths teachers always are SOO LAME

when i got my new car (black vw) my maths teacher asked me if i got a new car
i said yes, and when i told him what kind he was like

"oooooh! all u need to do now is dye your hair blonde and you'll be a hot blonde bombshell in a shiney black car!"

:S
bahahaha


and coz theres only three people in my class (ext 1 maths), the other two guys are away sometimes... especially b4 exams so they can stay home n study grrr....

and last lesson wen they were away n it was just me n my teacher in the room, he had 2 go get something from the staffroom... so i was just sittin there by myself...

then the maths head teacher walks past the room, looks around and goes
"where is everyone?" im like, "away and gone to the staff room"
and then my teacher comes back, and the maths head teacher says somethin along the lines of...
"you left poor macauley culkin here all alone!!"

....




lol lame math teachers are alright sometimes tho. Coz last time that happened, i left my classroom n went into the other maths class while their teacher (the head teacher) was off doin something...

i sat right in front of his desk n when he got back i put a book in front of my face, pretending to read, n sat there for 5 mins.... he didn’t even notice me lol

so i just got up n walked out back 2 my own classroom.... n apparently as i left he cracked his macauley culkin joke again :| :|

 

[Sarebs]

To our year 12 PCD is an extension of lunch - a giant talkfest where no work gets done.

So one day a few boys were being a bit loud and having a bit of a fight and one yelled "suck my dick" to the noisier boy and the teacher replied "well at least it would keep him quiet".

One of those things that is still funny!

 

[big_jezza]

the head maths teacher at my school, has the lamest joke in the world

student:excuse me sir, wat does the board say
maths teacher: *puts ear to board* give me a sec and ill tell you

teacher: one day a man with 3 eyes, no arms and one leg was walking down the street, he looked like he needed a lift so i pulled up next to him and said, iye iye iye you look armless hop in !


also got the worst but best chemistry teacher, has the best quotes

teacher: shh! shh! shh! this is an acid, shh! shh! shh! i mean a base

teacher: im done talking, ur done lsitening, we all know nothing, YAY!

 

[possessionless]

the head maths teacher at my school, has the lamest joke in the world

student:excuse me sir, wat does the board say
maths teacher: *puts ear to board* give me a sec and ill tell you

oh god i can actually imagine him saying that

 

[meilz92]

also got the worst but best chemistry teacher, has the best quotes


teacher: im done talking, ur done listening, we all know nothing, YAY!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH LMFAOOO that is soooooo typical of him

when did he say that?! how come i cant remember?!

hahha was that one of the 44 quotes we wrote down that week?

we shud do that again sometime

 

[big_jezza]

oh god i can actually imagine him saying that

he actually used to say it when i was stuck in his classroom in year 10 :S

 

[big_jezza]

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH LMFAOOO that is soooooo typical of him

when did he say that?! how come i cant remember?!

hahha was that one of the 44 quotes we wrote down that week?

we shud do that again sometime

lol, i cant memba wen he said it ayes, but he did, i reckon wen we get bak to school, we write some more down, coz he has to have some new ones by now

 

[meilz92]

he actually used to say it when i was stuck in his classroom in year 10 :S

at least he doesnt call u macauley culkin lol


ohh and he always checks my arms for bruises, coz he reckons i "cant stop pinchin myself" because i cant believe weve finished the maths course


bahhahahahha

 

[big_jezza]

maths teacher also had another one

our class wasnt full of the smartest people, adn they coldnt be f****d working
so weneva they didnt get something he would say

teacher: jeremy, can u summarise M times T
jeremy: mt (empty)


LAAAAMMMEEE!!!