So what's new with you and your significant other/crush/desired person/ etc? (1 Viewer)

[slyhunter]

So it shouldn't be too much of a concern, right?

 

[Shadowdude]

Here's one, dated December 8, 2010 - edited for use here:

I remember a younger, fourteen year old Shadowdude stating in 2007 or 2008 that he would only post a picture of himself in the Photobooth if he found a girlfriend - and that the picture would be of this happy couple.

Three years later, still nothing.

I know many of you have seen my rollercoaster of a ride that is my relationship with S. - you've seen the threads, from the happy, to the sad, to the contemplating, to the angry even. But now, my ride on the extreme long shot ends, though I hope not.

You see, my fellow BOS-ers, when I said to myself in June or July this year that I would finally pool my resources into winning the girl of my dreams - though puppy love it probably is, I had a date. August 28, 2010 - that was to be the date I would finally have a girlfriend. That was the date where all this mystery about winning the greatest of prizes would turn to reality. It was supposed to be the date where I would, literally, win a date - and at least dabble in this thing called boyfriend-ery.

But you all saw and read what happened - I searched, and searched for her - and she was not there. A setback.

Then, my resolve strengthened - the next possible time I could see her was at work! I made a gutsy move to walk over to where I thought she worked and got rewarded with information - she worked only on Wednesdays. I went there, but only during lunchtimes - as that was the only time I could make the trek without drawing attention to myself - and of course, she was not there. I'm confident she still does work there, but I have no reason to be there at all now - I've finished with the school that is just across the road from her employment place.

Next possible chance? My Year 12 Graduation, I thought. But no, her father came up to me the day before as I sat on the stairs and he said to me that he wishes he could come, but his daughter's was on the same day, and at the same time. My chances got dimmer and dimmer, and I began to doubt whether it was worth it.

I remember another user saying to me that if two people are meant to be together, they will end up together. And I'd love to believe that. But if one is like me - who keeps on managing to screw up even the best of chances (see: umbrella story) - will fate, or perhaps God, keep allowing me chances more greater and greater until I got the hint and then fulfilled my destiny? I started to question things I used to think absolute truth. I started to wonder about love, about how it works and of course, all in relation to whether S. and I were meant to be together.

To this day, if I was to pick one person to spend the rest of my life with - it's her. Automatically. No ifs, no buts, no second-guessing - it's her, definitely, 100% sure - and as a mathematician, when I say definitely, you know I mean it.

Is she physically perfect? No. Another user said her facial structure wasn't that great, and it took me a few tries to figure out what he was saying until I figured it out last week. She also probably has a few blemishes unseen to me, and of course like any teenager fighting the evils of puberty - she probably has a few breakouts of acne or pimples or whatever somewhere. But so what? One can see past such things - and she is not so marred by these imperfections that I find her ugly. She's not - at least to me.

But I myself, am not perfect. It's obvious. If asked the question: "If you were to pick one person to... be a receptacle of your lust, who would it be?" Then, the decision is more difficult. I'd be torn between the decision my head would make (S.), and decision my heart (or pants?) would make. Let's face it. I'm not going to lie - S., to me, doesn't scream sexual appeal. I don't look at her and want to drop my pants at the sight of her. When I do look at her, it's like... a friendship. And despite what most of you will say about the friend-zone, there is no doubt that great partnerships have a deep ingrained friendship element - that happens to have hints of lust, devotion and intimacy. To me, S. is emotional and intellectual appeal. When I look at her (pictures), I don't think, "I wonder what she'd look like without those clothes on", I think, "How wonderful it would be to see her again". And that is the motivation for all this.

You see, what someone said to me still resonates [that is, if we're meant to be together, we'll be together], because I so wish to say that I am definitely and completely confident that we're perfect for each other on an emotional and intellectual level - and thus I'd love to think we'd always end up together. But that's my emotions talking. My head says differently. I don't know her - yes. But I'd love to know more about her, I'd love to just sit down with her and chat mindlessly and endlessly. My dreams are pretty much me and her chatting on everything - the topic mostly featured in my dreams is how school has gone for the two of us, as we went to different schools for our senior years.

S. will no doubt be an important part of my life - she is my first love. She's the first female I ever went crazy about, she's the first female I invested real time and effort into - but of course for no result. I need not remind you all of the origin of this emotional and intellectual appeal, but it started of course with her teaching me the words 'ovaries' and 'orgasm' via MSN conversation - and lately, due to my obsession, it's her intellect that refuels my drive to win her. A few days ago she said via Facebook, words to the effect of: "Oh, it's the sun. It's nice. I forgot what it looked like for a while".

And I smiled, I appreciated it. It had been cloudy, horrible and rainy in Sydney for a while - and I read that first-time and didn't get it, before I looked out the window to see the sun's rays reflected off my neighbour's roof into my eye. She seemed even more beautiful. Or as I would put it, "I fell in love with her again".

Anyway after my graduation, I thought the Formal was going to be the day I would see her. And you all know how excited I was over IRC about it, I was going to sweep her off her feet (metaphorically) and then declare to whoever was at the door: "Sir, I love this woman and I shall not stand to see her not have a seat at my table next to me and chatting about a myriad of topics for the entire evening!" or words like that. But again, she wasn't there. I arrived as early as I could get, but the crowd of people there had no S. in it. Back then of course, I realised that her own school formal was on at the same date... at the same time.

My formal was just around two weeks ago. Today, Presentation Night, was to be my last chance.

But she wasn't there either. My hopes were spiked when I saw her father there - but no sign of his daughter. I spent an entire hour looking for her before it started, and then another thirty or so minutes afterward just in case I missed her.

Tonight, I learned two key life lessons. One, is to take your chances when you have them. The umbrella story will forever haunt me, and always provide me with that hope that keeps replenishing in me. Even after every setback, after every single obstacle - whether it be her not showing up, other people apparently courting her, or whatever - I would always automatically return to that day when she stood with me for an hour, when we were not enemies but friends, co-workers and a team. I stood in heaven for an hour, and I didn't know I was in it until afterward.

Two, is that love is really the greatest award. BOS-ers, tonight I won a total of seven awards - pretty much the highest of all people, to my belief. The awards I received tonight were, 'First in Course: Extension 2 Mathematics', 'First in Course: Chemistry', 'First in Course: Physics', 'First in Course: Legal Studies', 'Academic Achievement Award', 'House Citizenship Award' and 'House Championship Winner'.

Four awards for direct academic achievement, another one recognising the combined effort, one again for my efforts outside of the classroom and serving my House to victory - its first in I believe, eight years now. And that House Citizenship Award is perhaps the one I'm most happy about. Did I get a $20 voucher with it? No. But that Citizenship Award was given to the person who did the most for their house group over the year. Memories I can recall include running around the pool busily handing out swimming caps to all competitors in my House group to ensure every entrant got that one bonus point for wearing a House cap. And we won that carnival - quite handily, I may add. It was probably for that.

And that would've been the award I would've showcased to her, if she had been there. She knows I'm an Academic Achiever, that's obvious. To her, I might just be a run of the mill Asian - but I am so not.

Living in Australia, I've been able to expose myself to many different cultures - the most notable dichotomy being Europe and America. European culture that has deeply influenced me of course include football - especially the UEFA Champions League, and of course, my beloved Eurovision. And then from America? Jeopardy, there is no doubt about that. And that's something I watch religiously - every weekday, I'll play along with it - recalling information I may have heard two or three years back and rearrange it as needed. That's definitely not a very 'Asian' TV viewing schedule.

A quick glance at my subjects would seem to confirm the stereotypical, stock, standard 'Asian' branding. But a closer look shows differently. Yes, I do Extension 2 Mathematics - the highest level of mathematics available to high school students, Chemistry and Physics. But I also do Extension 2 English. What number of 'Asians' have a passion for the English language? Certainly not the ones classified in the stereotype.

I wanted S. to be there so I could show her I was more than what I seemed. That I'm not just some random, factory-installed and manufactured Asian that is like everyone else. I fit into no mould. And I'm proud of that - and I would've loved to show S. that.

When S. left my school in Year 10, I was one of the people who would sit back in House Meetings and chat randomly to people. I didn't really care all that much - at carnivals I would sit back and watch, and talk to friends. I would've loved to see what she would've said to me when she saw my "Vice Captain" badge.

And now, I was being honoured as being the greatest contributor to the House - that would eventually shock everyone and win the coveted House Championship.

Petty things, seemingly - but they symbolise so much. They symbolise a deviation from what I seem to be. It symbolises that her assumptions of me could be very, very wrong.

And you know what? I would've loved to sit and chat with her afterward and that badge of mine could've been a discussion topic. I would've offered her a little parting gift if she had said yes to me on a date: "Here S., have one of these $20 Dymocks vouchers I won". And then she'd be like "Oh no, you won it - it's okay". And then I would quickly retort, "S., I have five. Besides, Happy Birthday - I didn't get you anything". You all know, or perhaps have heard of the wit and intellect she possesses, and that same wit and intellect that makes me just want to hug her all the time. I dream of a relationship with her where we would continue to delight ourselves because of our partner's intellect... but that's a dream.

I just looked at my awards - so many in fact that I had to hold them awkwardly or I might have dropped one. And nothing. I wasn't particularly happy. In the end, they are just pieces of paper - and the plaques are just my name with a few details on a piece of metal pasted or nailed into a wooden backing.

Those awards - those greatly sought ones, First in Course, House Championship, Academic Achievement - they're petty in the grand scheme. I will look at those awards in ten years and just see the same thing: "Academic Achievement Award 2010", or, "Special Commendation Award: First in Course - Legal Studies".

But with S.... I'd almost always look at her and see something new. Maybe she'd smile, or change her hairstyle, wear different clothes, have a differing emotion. And having her as a girlfriend, with a view to marrying her... that would be my real award. That would be the thing that would've made everything worthwhile - because I know like three of you care about this S. situation.

I would love nothing more than to just post a thread in Non-School entitled "Victory" with the OP containing nothing more than a smiling S., and a smiling Shadowdude next to her.

Finality. That would be the fitting finale to this - if we were in a Harlequin romance.

But this is real life. And that was the very last of my scenarios that would involve her. No event I have now can feasibly involve her in it. I've said before that if I saw her again after this - it would be a miracle. And it seems I'll now really need one to see her again, and I'll need another to win her.

So if I see her at O-Week at university, then you can be sure I will say 'hi'.

If I see her at the shops when I'm with my friends roaming about, then you can be sure I will talk to her.

If I see her next in the arms of another man - then I will say hello to her. But perhaps then, I'll be able to finally move on.

BOS-ers, that's what I need. Finality.

I am stuck on page 287 in my own 300 page story that is my relationship with S.. I need an ending.

I need to know if she loves me or not. I need to know if she has a boyfriend already. I need to know how she feels about me.

For now, I'll try and get over her. The next even remotely possible scenario is my school fete next year - in September or so. But if her father isn't working there, then really - there's no point for them to attend. But rest assured I'll be there, and I think I'll stop now before I label it as a possible scenario - but the thought is already embedded. I don't know anymore. Tonight was supposed to be the night. She lives no more than three minutes away - and she'd rather stay home than to support her friends leaving school. So I don't know if she doesn't want to see me at all, or if she 'broke up' (so to speak) with them...

I need to fill in those remaining pages with what happens. And if she loves me, then BOS-ers, I start anew on page one of my new story with S..

I'm reading that now... and parts of it make me want to cringe and go "omg i was that pathetic?" but parts of it make me smile and go "Yes! This is beautiful stuff, this is inspiring and I want to write now".

I'm looking at that as well - and it was written seven months ago but it seems written by someone else. Someone... sad and distraught. But I know that's me because no one else in the world writes like that and... it's amazing what seven months can do, eh?

Fascinating is the mind of a human.

 

[shady145]

Hey, hey, hey... by a comparison test - if guys who are less pro than me can get girlfriends, I can get them too.

By a comparison test? Sorry to dissapoint you... but the female brains isnt a bunch of math questions/theorems etc.
If guys who are 'less pro' than you can get girfriends, those girfriends are perhaps <=3... if these people you have assumed to be 'less pro' than you have girlfriends >3 then they're actually more pro than you just saying... however there are always exceptions to rules, so Goodluck with that perfect girl you want.

 

[Shadowdude]

Oh so you did get the maths reference, nice.

But what I said is just part of my conjectures on relationships. I have tons of them. Just trying to rationalise things... not really working out, but hey what the heck.

 

[Riproot]

Hey, hey, hey... by a comparison test - if guys who are less pro than me can get girlfriends, I can get them too.

Who is less pro than you?!

It was raining - and I asked her if she'd like me to get an umbrella, and she said yes. So... I got one and we stood under it together while fiddling with an early iPhone we had to try and figure out together.

She would've felt bad is she tried to kick you out of the umbrella because you got it.
And she was having trouble with technology and you're Asian... Also, she would've wanted to start a conversation to break the tension - you don't stand next to someone under the same umbrella and not even speak.

I'm not pathetic now. Like, I texted a girl to walk with me to the maths exam - but you don't see me going "OMG, EVERYONE! GUESS WHAT?! I TEXTED A GIRL TO COME WALK WITH ME TO MY MATHS EXAM AND GET THIS.... SHE SAID YES!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG I WANNA MARRY HER".

So, to prove you don't do this... you did it.
I think this was just a subtle way to let us know that you desperately forced a female friend to socialise with you before your exam.

 

[Arcorn]

Shadow, I can't be fucked reading that shit.

Even while drunk I think you're a faggot. And this is coming from the guy who wanted a D&M with my friends. And also threw up about an hour ago.

 

[_trickster_]

stupid bitch whore got drunk and started flirting with everyone and anyone, we have a connection, but she doesnt show it at all when shes drunk which says a lot

had to fight to make sure she didnt hook up with someone tonight, was hard, but me and my mate managed it

dont know what to do, whether or not its a good idea we get together or not, one of my mates and her friend as well had a thing for her, and is heaps protective

stupid fucking flirting whore

 

[Arcorn]

stupid bitch whore got drunk and started flirting with everyone and anyone, we have a connection, but she doesnt show it at all when shes drunk which says a lot

had to fight to make sure she didnt hook up with someone tonight, was hard, but me and my mate managed it

dont know what to do, whether or not its a good idea we get together or not, one of my mates and her friend as well had a thing for her, and is heaps protective

stupid fucking flirting whore

Get her drunk, have sex with her. Realise she's shit, win at life.

 

[_trickster_]

shes such a tease and i think she just craves attention

she leads all the guys on, deadset, and everyone falls for it, i dont even know if im any different

 

[Arcorn]

shes such a tease and i think she just craves attention

she leads all the guys on, deadset, and everyone falls for it, i dont even know if im any different

You aren't. Easy way is to get over her and be done with it. Once I realised one girl wasn't worth my time I found another girl who feels the same way about me

 

[_trickster_]

yeah but the other girl is always less attractive

 

[twistedrebel]

there is only one solution, BoS road trip to the gong, but how many of us would make it done is a matter debatable.

 

[KatherinePierce]

Oh no, my story wasn't erotic - it's more... romantic in style. Which saddens me because I got a Band E4 writing romantic fiction. I feel I am less manly as a result =P

Or more manly - because apparently that guy on Love Song Dedications is a real man and he talks in that stupid voice. Not sure yet.

But yes, you'll find EX2 works are pretty flawless considering we have almost a year to write them!

[I used to write stuff like that, -.-" I was so stupid lol.] Now I write anything but romantic stories.
Hahahahaha, hey! I listen to Love Song Dedications x'D [-.-']
His voice makes me sleepy, so that helps.
True that,
By the way.. that epic long post was interesting. :L
Similar to something that happened to me. Lol.

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

Realised how hard it is to be single again... I don't think I'd mind too much if I was living in a place where I had friends... But in Melbourne, I am alone. I have my Dad, some of my extended family, but no friends.

Well, one friend who's a recluse hermit now since he started working. Call him to do something, he says 'sure', next day - or even an hour later he doesn't answer his phone/isn't on facebook/no emails, no contact.

I realise how pathetic this sounds as well, but I have NO FRIENDS . At all. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

I haven't been sociable for over six months, and it sucks. Least of all have I even spoken to a member of the opposite gender anywhere other than at the supermarket.

Fun.

 

[Arcorn]

yeah but the other girl is always less attractive

Actually, no. The one I'm with is more attractive, I don't even know what I saw in the other one.

Realised how hard it is to be single again... I don't think I'd mind too much if I was living in a place where I had friends... But in Melbourne, I am alone. I have my Dad, some of my extended family, but no friends.

Well, one friend who's a recluse hermit now since he started working. Call him to do something, he says 'sure', next day - or even an hour later he doesn't answer his phone/isn't on facebook/no emails, no contact.

I realise how pathetic this sounds as well, but I have NO FRIENDS . At all. Zero. Zip. Zilch.

I haven't been sociable for over six months, and it sucks. Least of all have I even spoken to a member of the opposite gender anywhere other than at the supermarket.

Fun.

Don't you go to uni or something? That's like a breeding ground for STDs and shit, you should be able to find someone to have sex with easily enough.

 

[Shadowdude]

Who is less pro than you?!
She would've felt bad is she tried to kick you out of the umbrella because you got it.
And she was having trouble with technology and you're Asian... Also, she would've wanted to start a conversation to break the tension - you don't stand next to someone under the same umbrella and not even speak.

So, to prove you don't do this... you did it.

I think this was just a subtle way to let us know that you desperately forced a female friend to socialise with you before your exam.

1. Lots of people are less pro than me.
2. Or - she could've left me in the first place and gone somewhere else and left me to fend for myself - umbrella or no umbrella.
3. We both had trouble with the technology and while I cannot remember - I'm sure we did talk. I can recall us talking about how to configure the iPhone.
4. No, I provide examples of what I would have done.
5. I think that's a desperate ploy for you to continue to paint me as a basement Asian where obviously I've proved you wrong by getting a girl to - as you say - 'socialise' with me. Fact stands: I texted a girl (who I knew nothing about two months ago or so), she accepted the invitation for quick last minute study before leaving for the exam.

Now, while that may not be spectacular, based on what people used to think about me... 'tis progress.

By the way, whatever happened to your '6 years until Shadowdude is still a virgin' thing?

Shadow, I can't be fucked reading that shit.

Even while drunk I think you're a faggot. And this is coming from the guy who wanted a D&M with my friends. And also threw up about an hour ago.

But it's a beautiful piece of writing. And what is a D+M?

there is only one solution, BoS road trip to the gong, but how many of us would make it done is a matter debatable.

For what?

 

[Arcorn]

1. Lots of people are less pro than me.
2. Or - she could've left me in the first place and gone somewhere else and left me to fend for myself - umbrella or no umbrella.
3. We both had trouble with the technology and while I cannot remember - I'm sure we did talk. I can recall us talking about how to configure the iPhone.
4. No, I provide examples of what I would have done.
5. I think that's a desperate ploy for you to continue to paint me as a basement Asian where obviously I've proved you wrong by getting a girl to - as you say - 'socialise' with me. Fact stands: I texted a girl (who I knew nothing about two months ago or so), she accepted the invitation for quick last minute study before leaving for the exam.

Now, while that may not be spectacular, based on what people used to think about me... 'tis progress.

By the way, whatever happened to your '6 years until Shadowdude is still a virgin' thing?

You still are a virgin...

But it's a beautiful piece of writing. And what is a D+M?

Deep and meaningful, are you that fail with people you've never heard of them?
Also, I was drunk, my attention span is even shorter than it is normally.

 

[Shadowdude]

You still are a virgin...

Deep and meaningful, are you that fail with people you've never heard of them?
Also, I was drunk, my attention span is even shorter than it is normally.

And... being a virgin still is bad because?

It's as if sex is the ultimate goal. It's not. Well, for me it's not. Maybe for you. *confuzzle*


And no, I've never heard of D+M because my first thought when I read that was that song with a similar title (but I forgot what it's called). Besides, my 'term' for D+M is "meaningful conversations" - though that's a bit more broad.

 

[Absolutezero]

Besides, my 'term' for D+M is "meaningful conversations" - though that's a bit more broad.

D+M (or DNM) is not always a conversation though. So your term is flawed.

 

[Shadowdude]

Then... what is D+M then? This is a new term for me, explain it to me pls.