For a second I was confused with the random name ;_;
Seriously, you could at least have pointed out what I was apparently trolling .
You can't blame me for valid points I put forward, owai- you did >.>"
Learn the difference between trolls and random people who decide to comment kthxbai.
Chinese Cinderella
I have no idea why you even considered this when you said you wanted to draw parallels to the belonging of culture shown in the Immigrant Chronicles. This book pretty much details the authors problems with getting along with her remaining family.
Anzac Day (short story in...
...>_>"
You seem to conveniently forget how Light himself went out. Sorta pathetic, don't you think?
When you look at Light's character, no matter how intelligent he is, he's deluded. While his plans may have been feasible he always made the same mistake of having that childish urge to reveal...
I'll take the liberty of assuming you tried to be funny.
Yeah, you failed.
If you are serious, the song is a horrible text for belonging.
I can't decide what's worse, your being serious or you joking.
Just assume that the reader already knows the story inside-out. Writing about the character is fine, just don't write the whole plot out.
Example;
Jon is bitter because his mother left him, this caused to him to have a pessimistic attitude that isolated him from his peers.
In comparison to...
You're welcome ;]
And I even if you have done it, which I seriously doubt, then you wouldn't have felt the need to reply to my comment unless you have suspicious motives.
I hate to break it to you, well I don't but that's not the point.
While being the mysterious intellectual is an awesome position to be in, you fail so just stop trying, please.
I'll point out where you went wrong,
"You look like your easily influenced. When do I get to test my theory?"...
I could be missing something, but how the hell is this related to belonging?
I agree that it's far too short, you seem to have an issue with sentence structure, his epiphany was lame and a little more dialogue would be nice.
8/15
And Kaos?
I don't see why you can use perfectly acceptable...
For everyone here asking to read it, it looks like he has all the help that they need so please stop bombarding this thread and if you had payed attention to something besides what your brain saw as 'free story', you would know that you have a better chance PMing them, not spam this.
Also, try...