Can someone please make my belonging conclusion more sophisticated??? (its short) (1 Viewer)

[sghguos]

Through the study of the various texts it allows us to conclude that through the core ideas of relationships, identity, acceptance and exclusion that “belonging” is ultimately a complex multi faceted concept which [answer question]

Please help me more sophisticated and not sound so simple and from a weak english student..



PLEASE.
my teacher said that the final sentence is pretty good but the first sentence is absolutely atrocious and is definately not from an "advance english" student.

Please help anyone.

 

[sghguos]

apparently it doesnt even make sense.
if someone please help me i would be so grateful seriously

I dont mind if its longer, actually i want it to be longer tbh

 

[Leffife]

Quick Suggestion:

Throughout the study of various texts it inevitably suggests that the core ideas presented; relationships, identity, acceptance and exclusion portrays that 'belonging' is ultimately a complex multi faceted concept which ...

 

[madradoddy]

you just need to break it up- long sentances get confusing and lose meaning
and also, be specific about the texts- not various
These texts all explore relationships, identity, acceptance and exclusion. Thus, it can be seen that “belonging” is a complex multi faceted concept.
i dont know