Creative Story Help! (1 Viewer)

[BHS10]

Yeap it's another one of those threads again

Don't you just hate creative writing?

Anyways, back to the point. I started to work on my creative story in the holidays as suggested by one of the members on here. This is what i've got so far

[FONT=&quot]I turned around the corner only to find a girl at a distance calling my name “Albert, Albert” and she started walking towards what seemed like a glistening light. So in spite of the dark and clumsy streets of Campbellfield I decided to pursue this path to a hint of delight. I followed the light when all of a sudden there she was… the love of my life walking down the street with a glow around her as though she was worth a million dollars. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She hadn’t changed much since I had last seen her 5 years ago at a New Year’s Eve party. She still had that beautiful silky hair, sky blue eyes and a smile that would uplift any body in the darkest of times. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I was unsure of what to do next, I was left to decide whether I go over and greet her or to have stayed on my side and go about my day. A lot had happened between us that left me in the decisive situation. After a quick thought, I came to the conclusion that I would go over and be nice.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Hey Jessica” I said with a smile.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She gazed at me and then proceeded to ask “Who are you?” [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I was knocked back by the surprise. Regaining myself I said “It’s me Albert”.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Again she asked “Who?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I was torn, sweet Jessica the love of my life didn’t know who I was. I thought I would try one more time.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In a shaky voice, I stated “Jessica, it’s me… Albert. Do you not remember me? Albert from the New Years Eve party that we both attended 5 years ago”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She started to look agitated and said “No. Sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone else” and she walked right past me.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]My last hope diminished, my heart started pumping as though I had just come back from a hike. My happiness had been overcome by feelings of sorrow and despair. I started to make my way home. I was dawdling, as though all the energy had been sucked out of me by the thousands of thoughts running through my mind about the encounter with Jessica. In addition to that, the calm before the storm had set in and soon started to rain heavily, this didn’t help uplift my feelings at all. Each drop that was falling on me seemed to weigh me down with more thoughts about my recent confrontation. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I finally arrived at my destination. I walked up the steps to the door and fumbled with the keys until finally opening the door. I decided to get into the shower to wash myself off and clear my mind. I turned the tap on and was instantly overcome by the heat, it wrapped itself around me like a warm mother’s hug. The concerns seemed to be become oblivious with every drop. [/FONT]

Is it good so far? Any tips/pointers?

I'm also stuck on where to go from here, any ideas would be appreciated a lot.

Thanks

 

[lychnobity]

See the attachment.

It's ok for a newbie. But you have much to improve on.

 

[Aerath]

I think you should have a look at a few links; here and here