Does this sentence make sense? (1 Viewer)

[ChockoRepublic]

[FONT=&quot]Dawe describes the bodies of the soldiers as ‘shadows’ to represent their departure and their no longer being there.


Does it? It makes perfect sense to me, but my teacher seems to think that it isn't grammatically correct.
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[tanjin]

[FONT=&quot]Dawe describes the bodies of the soldiers as ‘shadows’ to represent their departure and their no longer being there.[/FONT]

That's probably what your teacher was referring to.

 

[ChockoRepublic]

That's probably what your teacher was referring to.

Sorry, I don't get it. Does the sentence make sense to you?

 

[Gavvvvvin]

I would probably go with.

Dawe describes the bodies of the soldiers as being ‘shadows’ to represent their departure and no longer being there.

the no longer being there bit seems kinda redundant...and being of limirted vocabulary

 

[Tulipa]

No, it should be "Dawe describes the bodies of the soldiers as ‘shadows’ to represent their departure and absence."

The sentence isn't parallel and if you want me to explain that I will but otherwise that's the issue.

 

[fallenstar]

no, it's a bit grammatically flimsy.

 

[Telekinetik]

"no longer being there" cannot act as a noun, and so it similarly can't be used in conjunction with the possessive "their".

 

[darkwaltzxx]

[FONT=&quot]Dawe describes the bodies of the soldiers as ‘shadows’ to represent their departure and their no longer being there.


Does it? It makes perfect sense to me, but my teacher seems to think that it isn't grammatically correct.
[/FONT]

I would say:

Dawe describes the bodies of the soldiers as 'shadows' to represent their departure and that they are no longer there. (or present).

 

[morganforrest]

It's just a poorly constructed sentence. If they have departed they are obviously no longer there....the end part is redundant and doesn't contribute to the sentence at all.

 

[joker252]

oh dear...

back to the english tapes for you

 

[emytaylor164]

it does make sense but I would say:
Dawe describes the bodies of the soldiers as ‘shadows’ to convey their departure and thus absence.
mind you i don't do those texts, or if this is still correct

 

[BackCountrySnow]

it does make sense but I would say:
Dawe describes the bodies of the soldiers as ‘shadows’ to convey their departure and thus absence.

nah, that's no good..