radioheadfan42
Active Member
Hey! So, havent been doing to hot this year. I don't expect to get a high atar whatsoever, maximum in the 60s range for me.
Im not at all worried about universities and things, really there are so many other pathways, and the courses i am aiming for have a very achievable range, or have good acceptance rates.
The problem surrounds guilt, i think. Genuinely, i love school - and i love learning. Every single subject i do i wish i could just take the time to truly immerse myself in it, and appreciate it for what it is...because these things excite me. So its the fact that i feel i am doing the subjects i love a disservce. I haven't shown them enough love, or i haven't taken the time to appreciate them. Or, i overthink things so much to the point i loose all practicality in what im doing.
Im just not a practical person, im not fast, i think too much and i stall - and its getting to a point im beginning to try and accept the fact that i will be heartbroken by my atar.
How does one come to accept it? This isn't to say im not trying at all anymore, god no -i just don't want to shock myself.
Theres so much social and personal pressure on getting a high mark, like it says something about your worth as a person Or your intelligence, or how much you care about a subject - and i really struggle to break away from that.
Sorry if this is at all a bit dreary, i think i just need to write something - somewhere - i need guidance i think.
(Note to myself in December:
Whatever happens now, you shouldn't be afraid. Because today is the most perfect day i have ever seen.
Now, get outside and go take a walk, you absolute silly egg. And then reply to this message with a YELP review of your sob. (1-5 stars - 1 being a terrible, uncomfortable sob - 5 being one of those really gross and snotty but like really satisfying ones. You know the one....))
Im not at all worried about universities and things, really there are so many other pathways, and the courses i am aiming for have a very achievable range, or have good acceptance rates.
The problem surrounds guilt, i think. Genuinely, i love school - and i love learning. Every single subject i do i wish i could just take the time to truly immerse myself in it, and appreciate it for what it is...because these things excite me. So its the fact that i feel i am doing the subjects i love a disservce. I haven't shown them enough love, or i haven't taken the time to appreciate them. Or, i overthink things so much to the point i loose all practicality in what im doing.
Im just not a practical person, im not fast, i think too much and i stall - and its getting to a point im beginning to try and accept the fact that i will be heartbroken by my atar.
How does one come to accept it? This isn't to say im not trying at all anymore, god no -i just don't want to shock myself.
Theres so much social and personal pressure on getting a high mark, like it says something about your worth as a person Or your intelligence, or how much you care about a subject - and i really struggle to break away from that.
Sorry if this is at all a bit dreary, i think i just need to write something - somewhere - i need guidance i think.
(Note to myself in December:
Whatever happens now, you shouldn't be afraid. Because today is the most perfect day i have ever seen.
Now, get outside and go take a walk, you absolute silly egg. And then reply to this message with a YELP review of your sob. (1-5 stars - 1 being a terrible, uncomfortable sob - 5 being one of those really gross and snotty but like really satisfying ones. You know the one....))
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