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How to improve expression? (1 Viewer)

JJ_Lin

New Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
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24
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Sydney
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2011
Hi, people!


(I am sure you all have a better day than me)


Basically, I just got my english assessment result and...shamely, did not pass. So will someone PLEASE help me?


The task I recently did was design a interview, focus to compare a modern adaptation of Macbeth with the original text by Shakespeare. And 'relationship between contexts, values' 'understand language forms, features and structures create meaning' etc.

I followed the task instruction and marking criteria, and produced an okay essay. Turned it into an interview form (which was what everyone in the school did) and it came back as 12/25


Questions
  1. My expression needs to be 'explicit'. So what is that mean? How do you draw the line between bullS and explain the facts? How to improve on it?
  2. Sustain. This part confuse me the most, I think I am attacking the question all the time. But teacher says I went off with the thesis.
  3. Exactly, what teacher expect to read when they say 'exploration of notion/permise'?


Gee, when you put everything you could into it and fails so BAD is really disappointing.

Thanks to anyone pull me out of my miseries!
Really appreciate it:wave:
 

spence

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Why don't you ask the teacher who marked it?
 

bored of sc

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Firstly, you haven't failed miserably. You haven't really failed, you've simply learnt a lesson(s) from a disappointing experience. As far as I'm concerned 12/25 is still an okay essay; with a few minor adjustments I'm sure you could move it up to 16+/25. Bear in mind that teachers tend to mark harshly leading up to and during trials so you do more preparation and study for the final HSC exam. There is definitely still hope. I got 50% for one of my essays in the trials yet finished on an HSC mark of 84. You'll be fine, trust me.

1. Definition of explicit: Fully and clearly expressed; leaving nothing implied.

You need to say it how it is. To do this avoid over-analysing each of your sentences; just write and let your ideas flow onto the paper. Sometimes trying too hard makes your essay verbose, overly dense and too complicated to the point that it is difficult for the marker to comprehend your ideas. So if there's any advice I could give it would be to spend less time writing first drafts and more time getting the teachers to assist you in refining your writing.


2. Careful not to fall into the trap of saying the same thing a hundred times but with different words. This is because sometimes using different words with similar meanings actually changes the notions in your thesis and thus results in you going off track.

If you think you are sustaining your ideas well, perhaps it could be helpful to physically go through your essay again and highlight every word, phrase or sentence that relates directly to your thesis. If the majority of the essay is highlighted you've done a good job. Be very pedantic and be honest with yourself. If there's an idea in there that doesn't quite fit with your core argument, don't convince yourself that it does! Get rid of it and replace it with a sentence that relates to your thesis.


3. Exploration of notion/premise: this means you HAVE to go into a lot of detail. Exploring, in an English sense, means finding new meanings through deep thinking. There is an important difference between repetition and exploration. You can't just repeat your thesis multiple times and expect to do well.



A significant error you may have made is NOT writing in the text-type properly. To write an interview you can't just plunk an essay-style paragraph next to name 'Jim:' and call it dialogue. You have to make it believable and you have to stay true to the conventions of the text-type.


To conclude, hold your head high. It sounds like you're more than willing to learn and improve. That is the key in English. Practice perfect makes perfect. Continue to refine and edit your work and you'll be surprised at just how great of a writer you become. School assessments and trial exams are meant to scare you and unfortunately, they might even cause you emotional stress. But if you use them as a source of motivation and a desire to do better you will thrive. You'll come out the other side in December thinking 'That wasn't as bad as I thought!'

Sounds cliche but hardwork is rewarded in one way or another. Justice will prevail! Keep your chin up. Best of luck with your studies.
 

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