i’m so cringe (vent) (1 Viewer)

[dezross]

i’m actually so cringe. like i worry about my marks so much it’s not even funny. and i hate it but i can’t get myself to stop. i always attach my self-worth and happiness to my marks, and therefore my worth and my mood is very volatile. i’ve been so depressed this year because of that reason. how do i stop attaching my happiness to external factors? why am i so, so unhealthily obsessed with my marks. why do i always want to beat my friends? why do i feel extremely dejected when other people beat me? i’m so embarrassed to admit it and lowkey disgusted at myself because it’s such an unhealthy mindset. i actually need help. i wanna be free from this once and for all. i’m so scared of disappointing my parents, but even more so of being embarrassed admitting my marks in front of my peers. i care so much about what they, in fact, what anyone thinks of me. but i don’t want to. why do i put so much value on my marks when they don’t even matter this year. and even when they will matter next year, i’m definitely sure it’s not healthy to care this much about them. it seems like i love my marks more than i love myself. they’re fricking numbers. why has the education system conditioned us to be so competitive. why am i like this.

tldr: i’m unhealthily obsessed and depressed with my marks because i attach my self-worth to them.

would love some advice man

 

[dav53521]

i’m actually so cringe. like i worry about my marks so much it’s not even funny. and i hate it but i can’t get myself to stop. i always attach my self-worth and happiness to my marks, and therefore my worth and my mood is very volatile. i’ve been so depressed this year because of that reason. how do i stop attaching my happiness to external factors? why am i so, so unhealthily obsessed with my marks. why do i always want to beat my friends? why do i feel extremely dejected when other people beat me? i’m so embarrassed to admit it and lowkey disgusted at myself because it’s such an unhealthy mindset. i actually need help. i wanna be free from this once and for all. i’m so scared of disappointing my parents, but even more so of being embarrassed admitting my marks in front of my peers. i care so much about what they, in fact, what anyone thinks of me. but i don’t want to. why do i put so much value on my marks when they don’t even matter this year. and even when they will matter next year, i’m definitely sure it’s not healthy to care this much about them. it seems like i love my marks more than i love myself. they’re fricking numbers. why has the education system conditioned us to be so competitive. why am i like this.

tldr: i’m unhealthily obsessed and depressed with my marks because i attach my self-worth to them.

would love some advice man

I feel that a lot of people have some attachments to their marks due to the competitive nature of most people so I don't think it's really cringe but more human nature as higher marks means that you beat more people in the competition that is a subject.

I guess one very obvious thing to say is that in the end marks and ATAR are just a number and while they do somewhat play a role in your near future as they can make it easier to get into uni it's not really the main dictator of your life as there are always alternative pathways to Uni and the workforce but you probably heard this before.

I would say that even though low marks does look kinda bad it's not the end of the world and it doesn't mean that you're gonna fail but means that you have room to improve as in the end no one is perfect and everyone can improve in something. So instead of just focusing on the mark instead look at your feedback, find out where you went wrong and determine where you need to improve and then work on improving in that area.

While you may worry about what your friends think one thing to remember is that in the end I doubt they'll remember the mark in the long term as in the end it's not that significant and if they do judge your entire character off your marks then i'll recommend finding new people to consider friends as I'm sure there is a lot more to you then just how well you did in a English exam. Also with your parents I do understand not wanting to disappointing your parents however, if you did your best in preparing for the exam and during the exam then there's not much more you could've really done as again you're not perfect and they might be a bit disappointed in a low mark I'm sure they're more concerned about your well-being and don't want to see you destroying yourself mentally over one mark.

I would recommend seeing someone about this as it likely will be very beneficial as you do seem to be quite concerned about this and seeking professional will help greatly as they can both support you and help navigate this problem (which I found incredibly useful when I was stressed and panicked about transitioning to Uni). You could either talk to a school councilor or psychologist, a councilor or psychologist outside of school or seek help from a site like kids help line.

 

[nsw..wollongong]

i’m actually so cringe. like i worry about my marks so much it’s not even funny. and i hate it but i can’t get myself to stop. i always attach my self-worth and happiness to my marks, and therefore my worth and my mood is very volatile. i’ve been so depressed this year because of that reason. how do i stop attaching my happiness to external factors? why am i so, so unhealthily obsessed with my marks. why do i always want to beat my friends? why do i feel extremely dejected when other people beat me? i’m so embarrassed to admit it and lowkey disgusted at myself because it’s such an unhealthy mindset. i actually need help. i wanna be free from this once and for all. i’m so scared of disappointing my parents, but even more so of being embarrassed admitting my marks in front of my peers. i care so much about what they, in fact, what anyone thinks of me. but i don’t want to. why do i put so much value on my marks when they don’t even matter this year. and even when they will matter next year, i’m definitely sure it’s not healthy to care this much about them. it seems like i love my marks more than i love myself. they’re fricking numbers. why has the education system conditioned us to be so competitive. why am i like this.

tldr: i’m unhealthily obsessed and depressed with my marks because i attach my self-worth to them.

would love some advice man

u need a therapist

 

[indeed]

i’m actually so cringe. like i worry about my marks so much it’s not even funny. and i hate it but i can’t get myself to stop. i always attach my self-worth and happiness to my marks, and therefore my worth and my mood is very volatile. i’ve been so depressed this year because of that reason. how do i stop attaching my happiness to external factors? why am i so, so unhealthily obsessed with my marks. why do i always want to beat my friends? why do i feel extremely dejected when other people beat me? i’m so embarrassed to admit it and lowkey disgusted at myself because it’s such an unhealthy mindset. i actually need help. i wanna be free from this once and for all. i’m so scared of disappointing my parents, but even more so of being embarrassed admitting my marks in front of my peers. i care so much about what they, in fact, what anyone thinks of me. but i don’t want to. why do i put so much value on my marks when they don’t even matter this year. and even when they will matter next year, i’m definitely sure it’s not healthy to care this much about them. it seems like i love my marks more than i love myself. they’re fricking numbers. why has the education system conditioned us to be so competitive. why am i like this.

tldr: i’m unhealthily obsessed and depressed with my marks because i attach my self-worth to them.

would love some advice man

Yeah I feel like I experienced (and still experience but to a lesser degree) this attachment. It was a lot more common for me during yr 11 (which you're in rn I assume) especially as yr 11 was a big jump from yr10, making me feel like the work I did mattered more. However, as yr 11 and yr 12 progressed I feel like the attachment still exists, but its not as bad.

Reasons:
- in yr 12 especially, you realise that there's many more pathways to uni or higher educ than the atar alone (e.g. early entry - grades from younger yrs at school, extracurricular activities, leadership, sports etc.; adjustment factors; picking a course that wasn't your dream uni course, then doing well in it and transferring to your dream course etc.)
- you see that your friends around you also stumble in marks and aren't perfect either
- (really helpful to me was) gaining a bigger perspective on life seeing it as more than marks: I go to a church youth group fri nights and its a really good place to chill from my week and chat with ppl from my same yr group (journeying through the same highs and lows which I go though)
(I guess submerging and surrounding yourself with things to do outside of school life will naturally change you mentally to treat life as more than school)

but yh if you feel you want to speak to someone in person about this, i recommend school counsellors, or professionals externally or even good teachers

 

[synthesisFR]

u need a therapist

its not that deep

 

[nsw..wollongong]

its not that deep

that's what others r saying too tho?

but yh if you feel you want to speak to someone in person about this, i recommend school counsellors, or professionals externally or even good teachers

You could either talk to a school councilor or psychologist, a councilor or psychologist outside of school or seek help from a site like kids help line.

 

[howcanibesmarter]

he just needs some milk