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Laughable job on UNSW careers website (1 Viewer)

velox

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I had a good laugh when I read this one.

So on some days you sell furniture and on others you are using your corporate finance skills!

On top of that, it's unpaid.

HEQS Investment Pty Ltd

HEQS Furniture Pty Ltd

An exciting opportunity exists to join a small private investment team on a 3 month volunteer contract with a view to part time position

The core responsibilities of your position will include:
• Producing accurate investment valuations on a frequency determined by the market fluctuation
• Ensuring the validity of the valuation using analytical tools such as benchmarking to relevant indexes, duration monitoring, Capital Flow analysis,

You will be required to possess a certain amount of knowledge regarding some of the investment fundamentals (securities), a general knowledge of the investment objectives of the capital investment, have an interest to keep themselves updated on some of the investment news as well as possess accounting knowledge.

Besides above, we are expecting you partly participating as a enthusiastic sales oriented person to undertake a in all aspects of our supplementary operation – furniture sales

Your daily duties will include:
• Direct sales to Showroom customers
• Monitoring of sales phone calls and emails
• General Administrative support to the Manager
• Liasing with customers, overseas suppliers and warehouse operations
• Maintaining Records
• Quoting / Reports / Spreadsheets
• Telemarketing

To be successful you must be seeking a career in Marketing and Sales with excellent written and communication skills and competent in the use of computers.
 

jb_nc

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HEQS Furniture Pty Ltd is established on 01 July 2006 by four overseas UNSW students: Kevin Lin, Neilson Peng, Stephen Lu and Kelly Xu with the initial investment of $3,000 AUD from HEQS Investment Pty Ltd. With the mission of providing the Brand New Furniture with a Second Hand PRICE, we have been trying to save every cent into our customer's pocket.

http://www.heqs.com.au/about.html

lol
 

velox

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Looks like they are the result of Australia's immigration policy. Get as many international students as you can studying accounting and extract as much money out of them via fees, but don't bother checking their skills or english ability. Probably couldnt get jobs as accountants.

Poor guys probably felt ripped off after paying $20k a year.
 
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heqs sounds uncannily similar to hecs, something which haunted these guys for years as they never received it and hence chose it to represent a goal which never came to fruition paying what the locals do. But seriously couldn't they think of something slightly different from their dream?
 

Bobness

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^iawtc

ifsonotso_100 said:
heqs sounds uncannily similar to hecs, something which haunted these guys for years as they never received it and hence chose it to represent a goal which never came to fruition paying what the locals do. But seriously couldn't they think of something slightly different from their dream?
Harsh but true, as it was truly a hex upon them :santa:

I wonder if 'heqs' is also an acronym.
 

Ralph

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That is stupid - what crooks they will probably make you do furniture sales the whole time for free.
 

seremify007

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Hey I wonder if we can contribute capital to this company since it's probably not on the independence conflicts list!

On a sidenote, I think doing YAA would probably be better for career prospects than this. Fail.
 

Omnidragon

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There's a cleaning division too. Is that cleaning their furniture, or scrubbing toilets? Must say they, least they went out of their way to get their own domain name.

These might be local peoeple - seeing they have english names.
 

RogueAcademic

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velox said:
Your daily duties will include:
• Direct sales to Showroom customers
So basically, a short-sleeve-business-shirt-with-tie salesperson/customer service at a cheap furniture store.




velox said:
• Monitoring of sales phone calls and emails
Admin/secretary.

velox said:
• General Administrative support to the Manager
Secretary/personal assistant.

velox said:
• Liasing with customers, overseas suppliers and warehouse operations
Customer service/admin/secretary.

velox said:
• Maintaining Records
Admin/secretary, as well as coffee-maker.

velox said:
• Quoting / Reports / Spreadsheets
Admin/secretary/cheap book-keeper.

velox said:
• Telemarketing
A very annoying telemarketer.
 
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Ralph

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Its probably the case that Kevin Lin, Neilson Peng, Stephen Lu are couple of gay finance guys that thought a good way of hedging theire business operation against a bear market was by furniture sales!

Or alternatively, couldn't understand what the text book was saying when it came to how to hedge your business - and just improvised!
 
Last edited:

HSC guy

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This company looks good. Can someone tell me where i can go to invest big money in it? I'm sure it's a winner.
 

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