sorry the last one didnt attach a file for some reason, should work now.
just wanted to know if i waffled on too much in certain parts.
thanks
EDIT: i didnt do one dotpoint as our exam will only be on operations
Some waffling, but your judgement to explaining ratio needs tuning. For business reports, the key is to deliver crisp, clear and detailed judgement of what is happening and advise on what should be done and what that achieves. Should also be linking to performance objectives in operations. Explaining irrelevant details and chucking down from the textbook doesn't really get you the marks. Could do more subtle integrating of the business into the business report, through relating to 'minor' details, e.g. industry and incorporating specific advice to the business.
E.g, rather than "All Star electronics checks its products"
"Since All-star Electronics is in the saturated hardware industry which consists of global businesses who manufacture quality products at, likely, cheaper prices, All-star Electronics must ensure that the percentage of defects in production is kept to a minimum in order to remain competitive. Through the checking process in quality management, All-star Electronics can not only decrease the amount of defects, but may also establish a competitive advantage by establishing a reputation as an industry leader in quality."
Btw, refine your knowledge of directives.
Your quality management paragraph is more of a describe than an examine imo. The step by step process can be shortened. Need more of the 'bs' analysis above as compared to the 'bs' explaining. Notice how I drew out the defect line to 4 lines and the reader thinks that I actually said something good. Haha, lol. The trick is to sound like you're a smartass who overanalyses and provides insight, when you really aren't and are just drawing out the information you're given.
(Reminder to self to not respond to these business posts. The subject is boring.)
