Sophisticated language in HSC essays, is it needed? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Croompets
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Omnipotence
Kendrick Lamar
This.
This is an extract from a practice speech i did for an assessment on Witness; The question being about how the viewer is immersed within the worlds. (This is only one body paragraph, not the whole speech)
"The murder scene to me is a pivotal scene within the film, portraying a dark world plagued by a criminal society. Weir immerses the viewer into this society through a bloody murder, a young Samuel sees. A low angle view point is employed portraying Samuels vulnerability as he wanders into the bathroom. To us, the viewers, this straight away engrosses us into the scene, giving a child like view of the bathroom and setting up for what is to come. The shot assists the viewer in infiltrating the scene from Samuels’s perspective, not from a third parties one. Dramatic music and a lack of dialogue provide a heightened sense of drama as the gruesome murder takes place. Quick fast mid-shots serve to preserve the action. The reaction shot of the wide-eyed Samuel watching through a crack in the cubicle’s door also serves to give the viewer a sense of Samuels’s reactions. This array of techniques totally immerses the viewer into the action, showing the gruesome world Weir is expressing. Samuels ‘pure’ upbringing is tainted by the ‘English’ world, with Weir drawing the viewer into the ‘English’ world. This immersion is also solidified as these shots are noticeably absent from the Amish scenes of the film and were typical of the crime or thriller genre in film, something Weir obviously wants to create within this scene. Weir continues to plunge the audience into the scene with an undershot of McFee washing his hands, suggesting he is a powerful and dominant figure within the scene. The discordant music contributes to the atmosphere of panic and horror but gives way to silence, then door slamming, an effect which is again building tension within the scene. These final set of techniques round the scene off, where the audience has experienced various techniques building tension and the horror that “Witness” creates when someone ‘witnesses’ a crime. The narrative that the ‘english’ world is one of crime and violence is expressed and the camera angles help articulate this scene as they help give the audience a front row seat. So what we can see is that Weir easily draws the viewer into the intended ‘English’ world within the murder scene which then becomes the archetypal scene for the viewer imagination when they thinks about the ‘english’ world."
So in terms of sophistication would that be adequate or is more needed?
"The murder scene to me is a pivotal scene within the film, portraying a dark world plagued by a criminal society. Weir immerses the viewer into this society through a bloody murder, a young Samuel sees. A low angle view point is employed portraying Samuels vulnerability as he wanders into the bathroom. To us, the viewers, this straight away engrosses us into the scene, giving a child like view of the bathroom and setting up for what is to come. The shot assists the viewer in infiltrating the scene from Samuels’s perspective, not from a third parties one. Dramatic music and a lack of dialogue provide a heightened sense of drama as the gruesome murder takes place. Quick fast mid-shots serve to preserve the action. The reaction shot of the wide-eyed Samuel watching through a crack in the cubicle’s door also serves to give the viewer a sense of Samuels’s reactions. This array of techniques totally immerses the viewer into the action, showing the gruesome world Weir is expressing. Samuels ‘pure’ upbringing is tainted by the ‘English’ world, with Weir drawing the viewer into the ‘English’ world. This immersion is also solidified as these shots are noticeably absent from the Amish scenes of the film and were typical of the crime or thriller genre in film, something Weir obviously wants to create within this scene. Weir continues to plunge the audience into the scene with an undershot of McFee washing his hands, suggesting he is a powerful and dominant figure within the scene. The discordant music contributes to the atmosphere of panic and horror but gives way to silence, then door slamming, an effect which is again building tension within the scene. These final set of techniques round the scene off, where the audience has experienced various techniques building tension and the horror that “Witness” creates when someone ‘witnesses’ a crime. The narrative that the ‘english’ world is one of crime and violence is expressed and the camera angles help articulate this scene as they help give the audience a front row seat. So what we can see is that Weir easily draws the viewer into the intended ‘English’ world within the murder scene which then becomes the archetypal scene for the viewer imagination when they thinks about the ‘english’ world."
So in terms of sophistication would that be adequate or is more needed?
It's not necesarry, all the markers want to see is you answering the question with a strong argument supported by quotes/techniques. However, it may help push you up a mark if you want to be cynical about it. I have the worst vocabulary ever and somehow managed to go really well and suprise myself in english so far without sophistication.
Kittikhun
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That's fine. Only use 'sophisticated' words for the sake of brevity.
