I feel so overwhelmed with English I can't cope with it, I cannot start any English work especially around this time now that trials are coming near, I am panicking but seemingly just circling around back and forth back and forth, I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed about other subjects and this school work, I can't write a generic essay and everyone that I am asking for help is trying to help me but it DOESN'T WORK. I'm having a mental breakdown and I really need help.
I wrote this yesterday, instead of doing English, because I cannot do English:
Back in year 11 to now, I'm still finding it very hard to cope with the demands English requires. I notice I have definitely improved a lot in essay writing - analysis, structuring and organising notes but I'm still lacking in motivation and thus certain aspects that cannot be improved because of this obstacle. This problem still recurs and I'm not sure how I can ‘love’ English ever since year 11 I’ve always associate English as a stupid subject. I did try very hard in my speech to earn me full marks but this was not worth it as the amount of sweat, tears and mental exhaustion was poured out, squeezed out of my until nothing is left except the husk of my body, it was the most stressing moment I’ve ever experienced in the entire year 12 and I never want to go through this moment ever again. This limbo always seems like a never-ending nightmare, every day I avoid this nightmare instead of facing it. But like always you can never avoid nightmares, sometimes they come without you knowing and effect you mentally acting as a catalyst for other problems that you may have already.
English is always so stressing, the only subject I assume a waste of most of my time; I do things for English instead of English itself. It takes more than 5 hours and hundreds of hair pulling and sighs to start genuine English, but sooner than later I would be literally repelled as if there is a switch for magnets to turn facing each other shooting off into the distance of procrastination meaning not doing anything, literally just sitting there and looking at the screen thinking about how I'm going to fail English, how much I hate English and stressing about every bit and piece. I always feel like the time I spend is crucial and needed for English but what is the use when English is procrastination? Every lesson of English we have, I feel uncomfortable at times because there’s something in my brain that’s not letting me complete what a band 6 English student should complete with such limited amount of time. Every typing of English work I do at home I feel repelled by such disgust.
English is like a mental illness for me, its effecting every part of my performance, it is stressing when I think about the amount of work I need to do for English feeling this overwhelming heat uprising throughout my chest as if my rib cage is shrinking squeezing tightly and crushing every living organ inside my body. Then my head would feel light like a waving flag amidst a deserted abandoned wasteland. Just fluttering for help but impossible to attain.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to get off this limbo, I don’t know what I’m doing now, when I’m supposed to do English of course. I’ve been asking consistently for help from my friends and now I ask for you, although they never seem to work because as always I would slip back into this state of stasis, I can't do this.
I have many friends that are going through the same phase as me, we are the sufferer, and we are appealing for help. Anecdotes? Experience? Advice? Please anyone that is experiencing the same feelings I am or maybe have been through hard times back in year 12, please help us with sympathy. We cannot cope.
I wrote this yesterday, instead of doing English, because I cannot do English:
Back in year 11 to now, I'm still finding it very hard to cope with the demands English requires. I notice I have definitely improved a lot in essay writing - analysis, structuring and organising notes but I'm still lacking in motivation and thus certain aspects that cannot be improved because of this obstacle. This problem still recurs and I'm not sure how I can ‘love’ English ever since year 11 I’ve always associate English as a stupid subject. I did try very hard in my speech to earn me full marks but this was not worth it as the amount of sweat, tears and mental exhaustion was poured out, squeezed out of my until nothing is left except the husk of my body, it was the most stressing moment I’ve ever experienced in the entire year 12 and I never want to go through this moment ever again. This limbo always seems like a never-ending nightmare, every day I avoid this nightmare instead of facing it. But like always you can never avoid nightmares, sometimes they come without you knowing and effect you mentally acting as a catalyst for other problems that you may have already.
English is always so stressing, the only subject I assume a waste of most of my time; I do things for English instead of English itself. It takes more than 5 hours and hundreds of hair pulling and sighs to start genuine English, but sooner than later I would be literally repelled as if there is a switch for magnets to turn facing each other shooting off into the distance of procrastination meaning not doing anything, literally just sitting there and looking at the screen thinking about how I'm going to fail English, how much I hate English and stressing about every bit and piece. I always feel like the time I spend is crucial and needed for English but what is the use when English is procrastination? Every lesson of English we have, I feel uncomfortable at times because there’s something in my brain that’s not letting me complete what a band 6 English student should complete with such limited amount of time. Every typing of English work I do at home I feel repelled by such disgust.
English is like a mental illness for me, its effecting every part of my performance, it is stressing when I think about the amount of work I need to do for English feeling this overwhelming heat uprising throughout my chest as if my rib cage is shrinking squeezing tightly and crushing every living organ inside my body. Then my head would feel light like a waving flag amidst a deserted abandoned wasteland. Just fluttering for help but impossible to attain.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to get off this limbo, I don’t know what I’m doing now, when I’m supposed to do English of course. I’ve been asking consistently for help from my friends and now I ask for you, although they never seem to work because as always I would slip back into this state of stasis, I can't do this.
I have many friends that are going through the same phase as me, we are the sufferer, and we are appealing for help. Anecdotes? Experience? Advice? Please anyone that is experiencing the same feelings I am or maybe have been through hard times back in year 12, please help us with sympathy. We cannot cope.
