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The cleanest method of determining another's relationship status... (1 Viewer)

Aznpsycho

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Really. Is it better to just ask "Hey, do you have a boyfriend?" or to go about it in a more subtle passive-aggressive way (like me), and not get any definite answers. Most likely, my method is ineffective.

I hope like hell that the L&R section of BoS is not ridiculous like, say, D&D or NS.
 

ur_inner_child

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You could always preassume that she does so that she corrects you.

eg

you: how's your boyfriend?

(she says she doesnt have one. if she does, then she says how he is and the story is over)

you (puzzled): I'm sure I remember you having one

(she assures she doesn't)

you: well I heard you were seeing someone?

etc and if you want:

you: oh you're single? well you must be fighting guys off all the time hey

her: *blushes and laughs etc*


....I'm not the expert here, but I remember getting that last time I was single, which was 15, so I dunno. It worked, I blushed, and I didn't find it as sleazy etc. It was cheezy but oh so good.
 
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I think it depends on how you want to come across. If you ask up front you'll generally get a direct answer, however people may be put off by that and see you as somewhat tactless. There's also a good chance that this will be interpreted as an expression of interest, which means you've put your cards on the table very early (which may or may not be a good thing, case depending).

I guess it depends ultimately on why you'd want to know. If you actually *are* checking for competition before making a move, are you really sure that you shouldn't be getting to know them a bit better first (whereby the question would answer itself)? If you're just interested in being friends and are asking without any particular interest in filling the role then it becomes a much more innocent question, but still one which may be interpreted the wrong way.

Personally, I tend towards the approach where you don't ask, because it's not really something I'm interested in (firstly because I'm not interested in making a move, secondly because it's not something I worry about when making friends). If they feel it's worth mentioning then they'll do so for themselves, but I don't ask because aside from being no concern of mine, there's too much potential for it to be taken the wrong way or be accidentally offensive or upsetting to the other person (for example if they have had a recent breakup).

Edit: and wow, u_i_c, maybe it's just me being cynical, but that method there would make me think the person was even dodgier than just asking up front, because it's still obvious, but at the same time says "I invested time and effort into coming up with a way to ask you without you realising (and failed)".
 
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azzie

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I agree with Stef's ideas.

I always agree with Stef!


But it's an idea just to ask right out, just dont make it the first/one of the first things you ask.
 

Atticus.

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hahaha thats a never fail method stef but a smart girl will ALWAYS see through it and a prudish one will write you off instantly

i think its important to pick the girls character before you rush in with some robotic lines that will hopefully get you the response you want.

if you see the girl as the kind that will think you being a sleaze for checking her status with some crafty word play then just man up and ask her (or if you are too much of a sook then ask her friends)
 

tlodg

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I've got a question here.
Would someone ask you if you have a bf if he's not interested?
I mean someone who just knew you for 1 day.
 
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tlodg said:
I've got a question here.
Would someone ask you if you have a bf if he's not interested?
I mean someone who just knew you for 1 day.
If he was just asking for the hell of it, yes, I don't see why not. Then again, he may also ask if he was just interested in getting his end in as fast as possible.
 

tlodg

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ogmzergrush said:
If he was just asking for the hell of it, yes, I don't see why not. Then again, he may also ask if he was just interested in getting his end in as fast as possible.
what do you mean by getting his end in?
 

Atticus.

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tlodg said:
what do you mean by getting his end in?
for real?
humans have interlocking bodies... that feel good when they interlock
this is what ogmzergrush was alluding to
;)
 

tlodg

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DrownTheCrow said:
for real?
humans have interlocking bodies... that feel good when they interlock
this is what ogmzergrush was alluding to
;)
hahaha I'm very stupid with slang, didn't know what l33t meant.

I thought getting his end in was something like....socialising with people, trying to become popular in the community......turns out....Not

interlocking seems like a pretty accurate description of it LOL
 

iambored

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i agree with ogmzergrush.

the cleanest way would be to get to know them well enough that it comes up, or a conversation comes where it's appropriate to ask. or known them for long enough/know a lot about them that asking is just another question about something else you want to know about them.

i also think it's stupid to know someone and not know for sure if they are single or not because you're too worried to ask. it's just another piece of information, if you know a lot of other things about them there is no reason for them to jump to to conclusions and think you're interested just because you asked them if they are single.

in short, imo, get to know them, wait until an appropriate time comes up, make it sound like you're interested as a friend because you know a lot of other things about them.

alternatively, if you don't really know her but are interested and don't mind being considered up front, just ask. be aware though that she could take it as a compliment or distance herself.
 

ElGronko

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I personally find it is pretty good to ask (after a while, as previously stated, not straight up, that would be vulgar and ungentlemanlike) "have you got a boyfriend" as it is a relatively innocent question that oh so subtly tell them that you are the tiniest bit interested.

If they say "no" you can then judge by the continued tone of the conversation and to how receptive they are to continued questions and discussions as to whether they reciprocate this original interest.

It is a very easy way to subtly show interest without either party losing face.
 

AsyLum

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fuck Her Mum Then Her Sister If Shes Underage Even Baetter!!
 

Aznpsycho

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This thread has turned out a hell of a lot better than I expected. In general. Thank you BoS mods for making this particular day slightly more enlightened than another!

Also, I guess I'm still the in right - remain passive-aggressive and insinuate this topic into another.
 

Cykologi_gal

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Ask them straight out lol...don't say 'are you single', say coyly 'how's the romance dept going', then laugh...but have a bit of friendship there first or it'll seem weird.
 
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Cykologi_gal said:
Ask them straight out lol...don't say 'are you single', say coyly 'how's the romance dept going', then laugh...but have a bit of friendship there first or it'll seem weird.
Ask them straight out + don't ask straight out + ask coyly = wtf
Random giggling after a stupid question = seem like a retard

?
 

ObjectsInSpace

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Get to know them because sooner or later you'll find out. Just don't run away if they are in a relationship because it'll be obvious you were only looking for a relationship with them.
 

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