Simpsons Quotes thread (1 Viewer)

[runtlocks]

Because I feel we really need one


Host: Now, folks, I don't wanna alarm ya, but scientists say forty
percent of America's pictures... are hanging crooked.
[the audience gasp in shock]
Yep, it's true. And I hear you asking: "Well, who's gonna
straighten out all these artistic abominations?" Your friends?
A neighbor? Those fat cats at Washington? [chuckles] Good
luck. Hey, you know, maybe no one'll notice! Maybe the problem
with ju-u-u-st fix itself.
Marge: Now you're the one who's being naive.
Host: Okay. Fair enough. But you sound like you're ready to become
your own boss in the exciting world of frame-nudging! Yes, for
a minimal franchise fee, you'll receive a pair of straightening
gloves, a cannister of wall lubricant and a booklet of the most
commonly asked questions you will hear, including: "Who are you?"
and "What are you doing here?"

That last line cracks me up

 

[MuffinMan]

schwarzenegger: I was elected to lead, not to read

 

[onebytwo]

*homer walks through the street at night*
Homer - "A GIME? Whats a GIME?"
*walks in and sees weight machines and equipment*
Homer - "Oh, a GIME"

ROFL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIFofh1MEaM

 

[onebytwo]

one of my favourite homer scenes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3xLQtrjWA8

 

[MuffinMan]

Ralph: me fail english? That's unpossible!

 

[watatank]

very recent (simpsons movie) but funniest part of the movie imo, always makes me rofl

chainsaw gag[/url]

 

[MuffinMan]

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Fucking LOL!

 

[onebytwo]

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Fucking LOL!

ROFLMFAO:rofl:

 

[DeathB4Life]

not exact quotes. i dont feel sad enough to google them at this moment.

"In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

"I wont lie to you Marge.....well, see ya."

"I am just your memory. I cannot provide you with any new information."

"Well you can just sit here eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell like dog food or you can go out and find your dog..." "ah nuts, i almost had him eating dog food"

"We'll just buy you a new dog. One with an unbendable stomach!"

 

[jazzmuzik]

the crowd at the baseball game...

Dan! Dan!
He's our man!
If he can't do it,
no one...
*crowd looks around awkwardly*
will..

 

[withoutaface]

We're here. We're queer. We don't want any more bears.

 

[runtlocks]

Homer: Your kid flew five feet that counts as a ride two dollars
Woman: Well that was never five feet

 

[okhan90]

Ralph: My cats breath smells like cat food

RalpH: I LIKE MEN NOW

Ralph: Why does everybody run from me? (pees his pants) LMFAOo


Manjula: Apu its 4 am, your late for work..
Apu: oooHHh i was having the most beautiful dream. i dreamt that i was dead
Manjula: ooOhhh no, you not dying on me, not till their outa college
Apu: Look ill die when i want ok

LMFAOOO

HOMER AT THE FAKE RELIGION PLACE:

NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA-NA LEADER, LEADER, LEADERRRRRRRRRRR...
I LOVE THE LEADERRRRRRRRRR

 

[Gosford]

*homer walks through the street at night*
Homer - "A GIME? Whats a GIME?"
*walks in and sees weight machines and equipment*
Homer - "Oh, a GIME"

ROFL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIFofh1MEaM

that episode was on this week
LOL

 

[Martyno1]

Homer:
Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember that time I took a home wine making course and forgot how to drive?

 

[onebytwo]

*Dr. Hibbert taps Homers belly*
Homer: Ooo...look at that blubber fly.
*pause*
Dr. Hibbert: *to assistant* Cancel my 1 o'clock.

 

[jest3r]

When Homer is a blackjack dealer to James Bond...

(for added hilarity, try to do a Sean Connery accent for Bond's lines...
Bond: Joker? You're meant to remove them from the deck!
Bond: *picks up another card* Rules on how to play the game?!
Bond: Loosh...I never loosh! You'll pay for this Homer! *Bond is then dragged out of the casino*

 

[walrusbear]

lionel hutz: uh oh! we've drawn judge sneider!
marge: is that bad?
hutz: he's had it in for ever since i kinda ran over his dog.
marge: you did?
hutz: well, replace the word 'kinda' with 'repeatedly'... and the word 'dog' with 'son'

 

[runtlocks]

Hutz is easily one of my top five characters

Commentator #1 - And the crowd's not happy about this at all
Commentator #2 - And heeeere cooome the pretzels
Commentator #1 - Hall of famer Whitey Ford now pleading with the crowd for...for some kind of sanity
Commentator #2 - Uh oh, and a barrage of pretzels now knocking Whitey unconcious.
Commentator #1 - Wow, this is a black day for baseball.

Whitey wackers

one of my favourite quotes, great voice acting and sequence of shots

 

[walrusbear]

lolz
i've always loved that sequence

and what do you mean top 5? hutz is top 1 (or maybe 2, there is also burns)