Simpsons Quotes thread (1 Viewer)

[Omium]

no it isnt. it was funny the first time but hearing it a second time, it loses a lot of its humour

maybe the best joke is when skinner says "i think it was a boaking accident"

other than that simpsons is pretty crap. think about it. when your a kid you dont understand half of the stuff the 40+ writers are putting in the show as they are jokes that only adults would understand. and alot of adults dont watch it because of all of the kiddie jokes. therefore quite a crap show, there are much better ones such as raymond, friends, seinfeld, becker, ect which have jokes that you can understand. make the switch, away from simpsons to anything else, as anything > the simpsons

You fail, go Die

 

[Starcraftmazter]

Lisa: How can Fox be so conservative, yet run such rounchy shows?

Kent: Fox runs rounchy shows, because they run up huge fines with the FCC, which go straight to the Republican Party. Everyone knows it, but are too afraid to talk about it.

Best Simpsons Quote Ever.

 

[scarybunny]

No, no, dig UP, stupid.

Kent Brockman: Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?
Professor: Mmm, yes I would, Kent.

Homer: Wait a minute... there's something bothering me about this place.
(looks around, seemingly oblivious to the fact that this is a lesbian bar)
Homer: I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies.
Woman: What was her problem?

Wikiquote is a bountiful bosom of simpsons quotes. Zillions and zillions of them.

 

[runtlocks]

think about it. when your a kid you dont understand half of the stuff the 40+ writers are putting in the show as they are jokes that only adults would understand. and alot of adults dont watch it because of all of the kiddie jokes.

you've made an ass out of yourself yet again

relax man it's the internet. stop picking fights with everyone and everything. cozs yeh, it's the internet.



















Lisa: Bye, Dad, don't eat any solids.
Homer: But I love solids.

 

[i-love-maynard]

you've made an ass out of yourself yet again

relax man it's the internet. stop picking fights with everyone and everything. cozs yeh, it's the internet.



















Lisa: Bye, Dad, don't eat any solids.
Homer: But I love solids.

I second this, relax!

Anyway here's my favourite one!

Seymour Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, I should be— Good lord, what is happening in there?Seymour Skinner: Aurora Borealis?Superintendent Chalmers: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?Seymour Skinner: Yes.Superintendent Chalmers: May I see it?Seymour Skinner: No

 

[La Divina]

Ned: All of us pull a few 'boners' now and then, go off 'half-cocked', make 'asses' of ourselves. I don't want to be 'hard on' you but I just wish you wouldn't curse in front of my boy.
Homer: Oh, come on, Flanders. I don't complain about your...moustache!

Classic.

 

[mzduxx2006]

Homer: theres the right way, the wrong way and the max power way

Bart: whats that?

Homer: thats the wrong way, just faster.

OMFG LOL

 

[risole91]

lionel hutz: uh oh! we've drawn judge sneider!
marge: is that bad?
hutz: he's had it in for ever since i kinda ran over his dog.
marge: you did?
hutz: well, replace the word 'kinda' with 'repeatedly'... and the word 'dog' with 'son'

favourite.

 

[xclusv-aj]

Homer: theres the right way, the wrong way and the max power way

Bart: whats that?

Homer: thats the wrong way, just faster.

OMFG LOL

LMAOO!! haha i love this one!!

 

[Morbo]

"I'm not popular enough to be different" - Homer J. Simpson

 

[scarybunny]

Homer: theres the right way, the wrong way and the max power way

Bart: isn't that the wrong way?

Homer: yeah, but FASTER.

OMFG LOL

Edited for accuracy.

 

[runtlocks]

Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I'd better call my manager...
Nelson: Your manager says for your to shut up!
Goulet: Vera said 'that'? [shrugs]

Smithers: Sir, the designers are here with some prototypes for your casino.
Brit: Gentlemen, I give you Brittania! Gambling with all the glitz and glamour of the British Isles. Best of all, the waitresses and showgirls are all real Brits -- fresh from the streets of Sussex, they are.
Woman: Freshen your drink, Guv'ner?
Burns: Get out.

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

Ned Flanders: I think I may be coveting my own wife!

Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him *thrusting*

Cletus: How do you spell scabies?
Lisa (running) S-C-A-B-I-E-S
Brandine: Rubella, we found you a middle name! (dangling baby)
Cletus: Y'aint supposed to hold her like that.

 

[walrusbear]

Editor: Thanks to modern film editing techniques, we can use existing footage to complete the film without Milhouse. Just watch.
[In the film, Radioactive Man is by himself in a cave surrounded by several cavemen]
Rainer: Looks like we're in trouble, Fallout Boy.
[cut to Radioactive Man and Fallout Boy on a green field]
Milhouse: Jiminy Jillikers, Radioactive Man.
[back to the cave]
Rainer: We'll have to fight our way out. Are you ready?
[cut to Fallout Boy on a couch]
Milhouse: Yes.
[cut to Radioactive Man and Milhouse fighting space mutants on the moon]
Editor: Seamless, huh?
Producer: [pauses] You're fired.
Editor: And with good cause.

 

[walrusbear]

George Meyer: Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? [backpedaling] Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that. [pause] I'm fired, aren't I?

Meyers: Oh, yes.

 

[walrusbear]

ralph: miss hoover there's a dog in the airvent!
ms hoover: ralph, remember the time you thought you saw Snagglepuss outside?
ralph: he was going to the bathroom.

nimoy: well i'd say this vessel can do at least warp 5
quimby: and let me say; "may the force be with you"
nimoy: do you even know who i am?
quimby: i think i do... weren't you one of the little rascals?

 

[Rachonium]

homer talking to mr burns: "it takes a lot to impress me mr burns"
*drives past a blue car*
homer: "WOW A blue car!!!"

 

[terminator69]

Homer: [trying to disguise his voice]
Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Postal Clerk: Okay, Mr. Burns, uh, what's your first name?
Homer: [brief pause] I don't know.

 

[Pace_T]

Ned: All of us pull a few 'boners' now and then, go off 'half-cocked', make 'asses' of ourselves. I don't want to be 'hard on' you but I just wish you wouldn't curse in front of my boy.
Homer: Oh, come on, Flanders. I don't complain about your...moustache!

Classic.

i recognise your nickname
i saw it on my fone when i was searching other bluetooth devices in my accounting lecture at unsw.
then i read in your sig you do commerce at unsw
^_________________^

 

[Pace_T]

homer talking to mr burns: "it takes a lot to impress me mr burns"
*drives past a blue car*
homer: "WOW A blue car!!!"

that has got to be one of the SHITTEST attempts at humour i have ever seen in the simpsons.
congratulations at picking it out.