homosexuality - sexual identity crisis. (1 Viewer)

[SAVAK]

I just find it difficult to understand certain aspects of homosexuality.

Now, im all for homosexuals expressing their identify onto the rest of the community, however can someone explain me a few things.

A common male goes through the hormonal period from 12-16 or around those ages. However, even before going through these physical changes he is already inclined towards girls. This can be seen as we went through primary school we naturally chit chatted with the opposite sex, not for sexual comfort but to broaden our horizons and understanding the complexity of the other side. However, with that being said we are still attracted to the opposite sex.

Now, one thing i don’t understand with SOME homosexuals is how the fuck can they randomly become homosexuals when they are 15, or 19 or even 22. Your sexual identity develops over a decade, from the ages of 6 till 16. From my point of view, id think that homosexuals would start registering their desire for male affection at an early age and male gentiles by the time they are 16.

I know many would say that they are just shy to come out, the tender youth surrounding gays may be confrontational against gays. however, the homosexuality in some guys should be questioned. first they are with girls, then guys, then with both, then with neither, then with guys again. WTF

This concept where homosexuals suddenly find their own sexual identity in their mid-late teens and even early 20's seems so artificial. Just not real. I’m not trying to insult the very few homosexuals on this forum, but I find it difficult to comprehend.

Someone explain.

 

[Kwayera]

I guess a lot of the "delay" would be due to self-repression due to societal/familial issues and the still-pervasive prejudice against homosexuality.

But I'm not gay, so I wouldn't know.

 

[settle*precious]

I think for a lot of guys because being gay isn't the "norm" they get a bit freaked out about expressing it. Most parents raise their sons assuming they'll go for girls so (not always but often) they'll get the girl talk but I don't think parents ever really delve into "now if you're gay then you..." talk.

Also, a fear of friends/family not accepting it can really hold people back.

 

[CIV1501]

also fears that me and iron will bash them if i find out they are gay can really hold people back

 

[whatashotbyseve]

There are many things in this world I don't understand. Religion the major one. It's not a sexual identity crisis. As people have pointed out, its repressed feelings. The church has done a great job of making gays feel like outcasts.

They have the same right to feel as miserable as the rest of us. I can't understand why things like gay marriage and adoption are banned under the cloak of 'traditional values'.

 

[x.christina]

also fears that me and iron will bash them if i find out they are gay can really hold people back

I hope you didn't bash Silver Persian!

 

[chelsea girl]

It's really not very difficult for people to hide aspects of themselves, particularly in their teenage years when the desire to "fit in" is so strong.
Most people don't really properly discover ANYTHING about themselves until their early twenties, not just sexually speaking. Did you really know who you were at 12/13 years old?

 

[AlleyCat]

i worked in a kindergarten for 6 months, there were heaps of gay kids there.
this one kid particularly, he was a tiny drag queen.

the thing is, there are some aspects of homosexuality that i dont completely understand either, given that i am not gay or bisexual. that's perfectly ok. we dont have to understand everything.

 

[CIV1501]

lol @ your sig alleycat i only just noticed that shit

 

[Graney]

I'm more baffled by the boys who say "I knew I was gay from the age of 4". I hear that a lot. Guys who knew they were gay in their pre-teens.

How can you be anything at 4?

In answer to the OP, there's a period in the early teens where it's been noted many men experience a period of equal or greater same sex attraction. Some of them will have a brief homosexual experience and then be exclusively heterosexual for the rest of their lives. For most of them it fades, and they largely lose same sex attraction.

Most men fall somewhere inbetween on the kinsey scale. There are less people who are strictly heterosexual than people who would have at least a slight inclination to be attracted to their same gender. For them, it is a matter of deciding where they would like to commit, or otherwise and it isn't necessarily a simple process.

Emotions aren't black and white. How often have you found yourself confused about your moods, or feeling a certain way for no reason? How often have you done something that you thought would make you feel good emotionally, but actually made you feel worse?

How many times have you changed your idea about what you want in a career, a t-shirt, a car, friends, family, a life? Why did your ideas about these things change and evolve since you were 13? Sexuality is just like these things, except it comes with a lot more baggage and stigma, making it a lot harder for people to be honest with themselves or others. They often have good reasons for not wanting to be honest with themselves.

Attraction, like all emotions, is often difficult to rationalize, or even understand how you truly feel and what you really want.

From my point of view, id think that homosexuals would start registering their desire for male affection at an early age and male gentiles by the time they are 16.

If you asked them, they would almost certainly tell you they did register an attraction at this age or younger, but they either weren't able to understand and respond to it, were afraid of it for some reason, weren't mature enough to embrace it, etc..

The less said about the gentiles, the better.

 

[Riet]

In primary school we were just as good friends with the girls as the boys then we started year 7 and it was like "lolwut?"

 

[kokodamonkey]

There are many things in this world I don't understand. Religion the major one. It's not a sexual identity crisis. As people have pointed out, its repressed feelings. The church has done a great job of making gays feel like outcasts.

They have the same right to feel as miserable as the rest of us. I can't understand why things like gay marriage and adoption are banned under the cloak of 'traditional values'.

that's because traditional values are of things that have been around for a long time... gay's have only been around for like 50years... i mean they arn't even in iran yet..

 

[Serius]

Yeah i would be shocked and upset, but in the end i would just accept it and wish them all the best, its not like they can change their sexuality to suddenly being attracted to you. Surely you would have suspected something at this stage.

In some ways the breakup would be alot easier, after all you know it was nothing you did wrong, and you also know they did nothing wrong [except repressing their feelings i guess, and trying to make it work, but you cant blame them for that] . Maybe you could even be friends with them after, plus imagine all the help they could give you in picking girls upm in my experience the best wingman is a girl

 

[The_highwayman]

I just find it difficult to understand certain aspects of homosexuality.

Now, im all for homosexuals expressing their identify onto the rest of the community, however can someone explain me a few things.

A common male goes through the hormonal period from 12-16 or around those ages. However, even before going through these physical changes he is already inclined towards girls. This can be seen as we went through primary school we naturally chit chatted with the opposite sex, not for sexual comfort but to broaden our horizons and understanding the complexity of the other side. However, with that being said we are still attracted to the opposite sex.

Now, one thing i don’t understand with SOME homosexuals is how the fuck can they randomly become homosexuals when they are 15, or 19 or even 22. Your sexual identity develops over a decade, from the ages of 6 till 16. From my point of view, id think that homosexuals would start registering their desire for male affection at an early age and male gentiles by the time they are 16.

I know many would say that they are just shy to come out, the tender youth surrounding gays may be confrontational against gays. however, the homosexuality in some guys should be questioned. first they are with girls, then guys, then with both, then with neither, then with guys again. WTF

This concept where homosexuals suddenly find their own sexual identity in their mid-late teens and even early 20's seems so artificial. Just not real. I’m not trying to insult the very few homosexuals on this forum, but I find it difficult to comprehend.

Someone explain.

you ever heard of acting?

 

[dolbinau]

that's because traditional values are of things that have been around for a long time... gay's have only been around for like 50years... i mean they arn't even in iran yet..

You're joking/a troll right ?

 

[live_without_it]

1) Looking back I have been gay since childhood. At the time I didn't even know what 'gay' meant, let alone identify as it.
2) Around 9-12 I understood what gay meant, but never considered that I was gay. Everyone (including me) assumed I liked girls and would eventually marry one. Even when having feelings for boys I just overlooked/ignored it and kept believing I would end up with a girl. Sounds like denial, but it wasn't even a conscious decision. I liked girls at the time, so I coudn't be gay. I just assumed (not 'tried to convince myself' - there's a difference) that it was 'a phase'. I think it had to do with society's general assumption that everyone is straight, unless proven otherwise. I was raised thinking that, so of course I assumed I was straight.
3) Eventually I came to realise that I like girls in an emotional sense (friends), but was not attracted to them physically. When I came to this conclusion, i realised that yes I am gay, came to terms with it, embraced it, and here I am today, happy.

Age 4: favoured female characters, but thought the male characters in movies were cute
Age 9-12: felt attractions (emotionally and physically) to male friends
Age 16: came to the realisation that I'm gay
Age 18: Accepted it, embraced it and came out
Now: Happier than ever.

 

[x.christina]

that's because traditional values are of things that have been around for a long time... gay's have only been around for like 50years... i mean they arn't even in iran yet..

You are joking right?

 

[Iron]

There's no such thing as gay. It doesnt exist. There are individuals, who can be saints or sinners, and the family.

/the lady's not for turning

 

[XPac2]

lol Da Vinci was gay and he died well more than fifty years ago.

 

[XPac2]

there's no such thing as gay. It doesnt exist. There are individuals, who can be saints or sinners, and the family.

/the lady's not for turning

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