Story Idea - Belonging or not? (1 Viewer)

[sarahdee]

Okay, so I have an idea for a short story for my exam in a week. But I've been sick so my head is still a bit groggy and can't subjectify myself and critic whether my story is relevent to Belonging.

Maybe as I articulate my ideas, I may realise myself, ha.

So I have this guy all proud (yet subconsciously anxious) in a room which he describes to be a prison cell. He speaks of this seductive "woman" he is in love with. How he is still in control, though. Yada yada yada. We come to realise he is at an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting and he realises he does truly belong there and that he no longer wants to belong to this woman (the metaphor for the alcohol) and that he wants to take control and attain personal freedom.

Pretty crappy, but yeah, thoughts?

 

[2009-Turner]

Very nice.
Like the double meanings to the story.
Great idea- just need to write it correctly + try not to disguise the double meaning of the women to the alcohol too much so that the reader can attain that twist/meaning when he/she reads it.

 

[lychnobity]

So I have this guy all proud (yet subconsciously anxious) in a room which he describes to be a prison cell. He speaks of this seductive "woman" he is in love with. How he is still in control, though. Yada yada yada. We come to realise he is at an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting and he realises he does truly belong there and that he no longer wants to belong to this woman (the metaphor for the alcohol) and that he wants to take control and attain personal freedom.

Pretty crappy, but yeah, thoughts?

It's above average. It could work, but there's a cliche feel to it somehow. The Alcoholics Anonymous twist adds a nice personal touch.

Prison cell symbol? Again? You've got to be kidding me.

But then again, familiar ideas (done well) are often the better ones.

 

[beve]

Okay, so I have an idea for a short story for my exam in a week. But I've been sick so my head is still a bit groggy and can't subjectify myself and critic whether my story is relevent to Belonging.

Maybe as I articulate my ideas, I may realise myself, ha.

So I have this guy all proud (yet subconsciously anxious) in a room which he describes to be a prison cell. He speaks of this seductive "woman" he is in love with. How he is still in control, though. Yada yada yada. We come to realise he is at an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting and he realises he does truly belong there and that he no longer wants to belong to this woman (the metaphor for the alcohol) and that he wants to take control and attain personal freedom.

Pretty crappy, but yeah, thoughts?

Um. Have fun making a clear cut sense of "belonging" in that one. As for the alcoholism; I don't think it's such an easy thing to write about belonging to alcohol - you don't; you are merely addicted to it. is this person addicted to the woman?

i need sleep. heh