• Best of luck to the class of 2024 for their HSC exams. You got this!
    Let us know your thoughts on the HSC exams here
  • YOU can help the next generation of students in the community!
    Share your trial papers and notes on our Notes & Resources page
MedVision ad

Girlfriend wants me to change something.... (1 Viewer)

hydrogenbondage

New Member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
1
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2009
Oh my god. Pineapple and Cranberry juices....

So here's what happened, we were making out, me sucking her tits, (not zits because that's yuck) and eventually I pulled out Big Bruno. She gives me a good whacking before I put on the rubber. She said, knowing that I was trying to remedying that disgusting smell, that if a condom tasted AND smelt better (she bought the raspberry flavored one with guy showing off his 8-pack of growth hormones on the cover) that I have to go see a doctor.
How stupid as if I was gonna do that! What would I tell him? 'Doctor my semen smells worse than shit from horseys, help me before I suffocate my girlfriend'

Anyway, I'm going John Rambo on the thrusting, her sounding like Mother Theresa's worst nightmare, and I come, like, after taking off the protection, she tastes.

Even I could smell it, she said it smelt like banana. What the fuck? Why didn't I just buy Glen 40 from the supermarket and spray it in on the bed or wash my bed sheets in Napisan?

Damn that's not cool guys, I was expecting like chocolate, so she cant resist giving me sucky-sucky time.
 

Jachie

it ain't easy being white
Joined
Jun 30, 2006
Messages
1,662
Gender
Female
HSC
2008
Oh my god. Pineapple and Cranberry juices....

So here's what happened, we were making out, me sucking her tits, (not zits because that's yuck) and eventually I pulled out Big Bruno. She gives me a good whacking before I put on the rubber. She said, knowing that I was trying to remedying that disgusting smell, that if a condom tasted AND smelt better (she bought the raspberry flavored one with guy showing off his 8-pack of growth hormones on the cover) that I have to go see a doctor.
How stupid as if I was gonna do that! What would I tell him? 'Doctor my semen smells worse than shit from horseys, help me before I suffocate my girlfriend'

Anyway, I'm going John Rambo on the thrusting, her sounding like Mother Theresa's worst nightmare, and I come, like, after taking off the protection, she tastes.

Even I could smell it, she said it smelt like banana. What the fuck? Why didn't I just buy Glen 40 from the supermarket and spray it in on the bed or wash my bed sheets in Napisan?

Damn that's not cool guys, I was expecting like chocolate, so she cant resist giving me sucky-sucky time.
wat
 

hydrogenbondage

New Member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
1
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2009
That's rude!

Anyway, vaginas smell pretty bad too, so I don't know why my girlfriend is complaining about that grotesque aroma.

Did you know the oral sex is the better way to stimulate the clitoris because like, theres some 8000 nerves on the clitoris. What the hell? the head of my penis is like 10 x as big, and has only half the number of nerves.

Maybe for every time I have to smell rotten fish from her knickers she should give me 10 fellatio's. - And drown in the smell of Sydney Olympic Park Aquatic Centre. Ten times.

This is so shit, I can't believe I'm having relationship problems over sex.
 
Last edited:

Uncle

Banned
Joined
Feb 5, 2009
Messages
3,265
Location
Retirement Village of Alaska
Gender
Male
HSC
2007
Oh my god. Pineapple and Cranberry juices....

So here's what happened, we were making out, me sucking her tits, (not zits because that's yuck) and eventually I pulled out Big Bruno. She gives me a good whacking before I put on the rubber. She said, knowing that I was trying to remedying that disgusting smell, that if a condom tasted AND smelt better (she bought the raspberry flavored one with guy showing off his 8-pack of growth hormones on the cover) that I have to go see a doctor.
How stupid as if I was gonna do that! What would I tell him? 'Doctor my semen smells worse than shit from horseys, help me before I suffocate my girlfriend'

Anyway, I'm going John Rambo on the thrusting, her sounding like Mother Theresa's worst nightmare, and I come, like, after taking off the protection, she tastes.

Even I could smell it, she said it smelt like banana. What the fuck? Why didn't I just buy Glen 40 from the supermarket and spray it in on the bed or wash my bed sheets in Napisan?

Damn that's not cool guys, I was expecting like chocolate, so she cant resist giving me sucky-sucky time.
Oh shit you forgot to buy Clearasil.
 

hydrogenbondage

New Member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
1
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
2009
Yeah showering is a good idea except, no can be really bothered..

*in the middle of making out* "Let's go and shower yeah?"
Where's the logic in that?
Shower sex doesn't work by the way, the comdoms lubricant washes off really quickly so is like rubbing your face against rubber, too much friction = pain.

I thinks its alright now, we might just have to turn on the fan and open the windows, to get some breeze, because, you know, sex is filthy.
 

simonloo

may our bodies remain
Joined
Jun 21, 2006
Messages
888
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
Dude, have you tried my suggestion of eating celery yet?
 

DailyChocoMilk

New Member
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
15
Location
Newcastle
Gender
Female
HSC
2010
Just laugh at her, or tell her that "hey? I don't complain about YOUR smell"

-you'll never hear of a smell of ANY kind ever again.
 

Eclipse008

Member
Joined
Sep 23, 2008
Messages
104
Gender
Undisclosed
HSC
N/A
Just laugh at her, or tell her that "hey? I don't complain about YOUR smell"

-you'll never hear of a smell of ANY kind ever again.

OR
He'll never get laid again.
Girls are self conscious about their smell. If she thinks he'll pay her out about it, I doubt she'll be overly enthused about having sex.
 

chelbanga

New Member
Joined
Mar 25, 2009
Messages
18
Gender
Female
HSC
2010
been told tht if you eat lots fruit it makes it better
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top