creative writing help!!! (1 Viewer)

[barnsy]

ok, i have a basic idea;

set in rural Australia, a man of Indian descent, but born in Australia, is at boot camp of the Royal Australian Army (RAA), and is having difficulties fitting in, mainly due to the prejudice of the drill sergeant.

any ideas on how to improve?? all comments/criticisms would be useful!

(FYI- i'm not Indian, but i have been so several places bordering India, so i have a basic idea of what culture is like there and near-by!)

 

[sir-study-alot]

heyyyyyy .. you go to my school . its brenden. remember i was in ur maths class last yr lol.

 

[sir-study-alot]

and yer ur story sounds good

 

[barnsy]

heyyyyyy .. you go to my school . its brenden. remember i was in ur maths class last yr lol.

hey! how u goin! long time no see! lol

 

[sir-study-alot]

lol. im still there man . only moved to general coz im a bit dumb lol ..
how is the creative going?