Do women want it just as much? (4 Viewers)

[williamc]

i can understand why he doesnt want to hear about it. generally the person talking about their triumphs will think youll be as interested as they are, so it gets really unbearable really quickly

lol na

 

[yer8899]

yes

 

[John McCain]

lol na

Why don't you like hearing about two men having sex?

EXACTLY.

 

[elle555]

hey babby gurl

wtf??

 

[jmakowiak]

I personally think that women do, they just keep it to themselves because they dont feel like that can show it as much as men.

Finally, someone who hasn't come into this thread and the first thing they said was about hormones. It's a miracle.

 

[cankerblossome]

um, no. that is just entirely incorrect.

by saying that you are suggesting that some rapes come about simply because the male is sexually aroused while the woman is not.

again, sex has nothing to do with sexual pleasure or sexual thoughts and everything to do with domination and asserting power. there would be fewer instances of rape if the macho culture could be curbed and the idea of aggression = masculinity dealt with.

I'm chiming on this thread without reading about half of it, and assuming that chelsea girl meant 'rape' rather than 'sex' in that third sentence there. In which case, I agree with her.

Rape is an act of violence that's totally about power rather than 'healthy' pleasure, and can be a very cultural thing. Eg I'm studying South Africa in society atm and their culture is even more patriachal than western culture, and it's basically true esp in the poverty stricken communities that women have less power and respect than men, and as a result they're not sexually treated as equals. In a study from last month about 26% of men had admitted to raping girls or women at least one. Incidentally, 1/5 of those men had HIV (South Africa is so screwed haha)

So in poorer communities like that as compared to Australia, those men wouldn't have the same access to the hypersexualised images of women all the time - in Aus we've got half naked females selling pretty much everything on TV, billboards, whatever, and lots of mass media in which women basically have to be sexy to be seen, and high speed internet connections to net porn and whatever. In South African cities, representations that objectify women as sexual commodities may be similarly common (dunno never been there), but not in the slum areas. So in this case, where some other insanely horrible statistic says a woman gets raped every 3 seconds (I think that's right, haven't looked at my notes in a while), which is WAY more than in developed countries... there are clearly more important factors in rape that the initial suggestion of cultural representations of sexuality catering to men's desires and not women's. I think this is about social power, discrimination, lack of education, patriachal history, maybe other stuff too. Thoughts?


P.S. Ladies like sex too! I mean, we have clitorises- do boys have a feature of their body that's SOLEY THERE for superorgasmic times? Nuhuh! We're equipped to enjoy sex, so figure that out... Also on a kind of tangent about clits- does anyone else think it's interesting that the hetero-normal accepted sex position of missionary hasn't been aimed at female pleasure through clitoral stimulation? Just throwing that out there. Maybe that's a reason women have been perceived as or actually not being as interested in sex - if men were boring/selfish in sex, and didn't pay as much attention to the mysterious but achievable female orgasm as they seem to nowadays, then there probably wouldn't have been as much imperative!

Also, in the good old days women just couldn't get away with having lots of sex, cause they got stuck with a) babies and b) social rejection/being demonised by churches and society as whores, whereas there were often double standards for men.

 

[cankerblossome]

self-induced

i'm the lone ranger

You're my new hero.

 

[jmakowiak]

I mean, we have clitorises- do boys have a feature of their body that's SOLEY THERE for superorgasmic times? Nuhuh! We're equipped to enjoy sex, so figure that out... Also on a kind of tangent about clits- does anyone else think it's interesting that the hetero-normal accepted sex position of missionary hasn't been aimed at female pleasure through clitoral stimulation?

It's called a penis... haha! jokes. It's a shame us guys don't come (get it?) with something like that. But you can't really use the clitoris example to prove that chicks want it just as much as guys, we already seemed to have disproved that with some heated hormonal discussion in the earlier stages of this thread - you mentioned something about chiming? I'd like to think that a world were the sexual desire for men and women is perfectly balanced and equally as intense, but it's just not there as a result of how society has conditioned attitudes on sex. Why can't more women just want it? hard?

Also, in the good old days women just couldn't get away with having lots of sex, cause they got stuck with a) babies and b) social rejection/being demonised by churches and society as whores, whereas there were often double standards for men.

I guess this has been answered to a certain degree, depending on how you look at it. For example, a girl who has lots of sex privately should be able to 'get away with it'. Alternatively, girls who either screw a lot of guys just for popularity or kiss and tell don't... they get shunned and are given the term 'slut' for the rest of their schooling career. Interestingly, though... there's the example of the porn star... I guess they just love it.

I also agree with everything else you said when you compared Aus and South Africa.

Good Post

 

[cankerblossome]

It's called a penis... haha! jokes. It's a shame us guys don't come (get it?) with something like that. But you can't really use the clitoris example to prove that chicks want it just as much as guys, we already seemed to have disproved that with some heated hormonal discussion in the earlier stages of this thread - you mentioned something about chiming? I'd like to think that a world were the sexual desire for men and women is perfectly balanced and equally as intense, but it's just not there as a result of how society has conditioned attitudes on sex. Why can't more women just want it? hard?

Lawl I'm pretty sure penises urinate and have reproductive function too... But yeah sure. I'm not saying the clit proves that all girls have the same level & pattern of sex drive as all boys (they obvs don't), but it does open up areas for discussion, on like male domination and that elusive female O and whatnot. Yeah I did skim through that 'heated hormonal discussion' (admittedly, skimmed it lightly), and it didn't appear too convincing. It was more people with fixed views saying things at each other, lawl. Also, you seem to have a pretty fixed view that it's purely socialisation

In my opinion it's a hugely individual thing and hard to put a big label on it like that. I think that the view or reality of guys wanting (not enjoying) sex more, is partly due to socialised views of masculinity/femininity - studliness, sluttiness, standards, whatnot. I also think that for girls especially, who're taught that their appearance is like their self-worth alot of the time, it can be a confidence thing. I think hormones for different people play big roles - not just between males and females, but at different times in one's life they have lots of hormonal fluctuations, eg at puberty, at fertility times, like issues with menopause etc, or just like brain fluctuations: depression and/or medication kills sex drives, for example. I don't think that the influence of biological differences can be dismissed so easily, as well: I'm interested in evolution/survival, so like women have to actually deal with the consequences of pregnancy, whereas guys have always technically (not that this is condoned) been able to sow their wild oats then run off. Hence the social and survival investment in sex has always been different.

But essentially I so think something I just read has alot to do with it: "Men learn to associate sex with empowerment, where women learn to see it as objectification."

I guess this has been answered to a certain degree, depending on how you look at it. For example, a girl who has lots of sex privately should be able to 'get away with it'. Alternatively, girls who either screw a lot of guys just for popularity or kiss and tell don't... they get shunned and are given the term 'slut' for the rest of their schooling career. Interestingly, though... there's the example of the porn star... I guess they just love it.

That isn't actually 'answering' it, it's just identifying that double standards exist. We'd have to do shitloads of reasearch on the actual impact of sexist social conditioning on desire. Aside from which, I don't think the porn star is a good example of anything! I mean you can't just say there are female 'porn stars' (there are degrees of porn stars anyway) who love sex more than average women, cause like - porn these days! It's an industry, more than a recreational sex club. How many of those *pumppumppump* "OHYEAHFUCKYEAHBABY" orgasms are actually real, reflecting some superhuman libido/sexual capacity? Not saying that porn stars necessarily hate their job, but it's jsut that, a job: they're actors, who're paid for sex, and often paid to fake super enjoyment. I've read quotes from porn stars whose bodies are like stretched/worn out/semi-desensitised from so much hard sex! They may not necessarily be the norm, but just saying... It's misleading to put ALL people who do pro porn in some higher category of sexual function, because while enjoyment of sex would have to be a precursor for going in that profession obvs, it is like a professional performance thing. And you don't have to tape and sell yourself to prove that you enjoy sex (I'm not accusing you of suggesting that dw, just saying is all)

P.S. thanks for starting this interesting thread - you might enjoy this post from my fave sociology blog! Women Don’t *Really* Like Sex as Much as Guys Sociological Images There's also heaps of intelligent discussion in the comments section

 

[Riet]

the clit is just a tiny penis head.

 

[chelsea girl]

the clit is just a tiny penis head.

nope

it is far, far more incredible.

 

[nightshade749]

I think that its a combination of social conditioning as well as the characteristics of each sex.

Girls are probably far more wary about actually having sex. Like everyone susceptible to STIs but guys aren't gonna be burdened with the risk of having a freaking baby every time they want sex. Guys wouldn't have to consider abortion or the pill if their condom broke. Especially in today's society. If it was the 'good ol' days' fathers would probably pressure the guy into marrying his daughter (pressure = shot gun). But now, single parents is normal.

Also I think it's just part of our sexist little world. Take a look at clothes shops for young people. The guys section is full of comfy T-shirts and baggy jeans. However, the female section is full of mini-skirts and low-cut singlet tops.
If guys started walking around with little clothing on perhaps women would be far more aroused than normal. Haha.

 

[chelsea girl]

I think that its a combination of social conditioning as well as the characteristics of each sex.

Girls are probably far more wary about actually having sex. Like everyone susceptible to STIs but guys aren't gonna be burdened with the risk of having a freaking baby every time they want sex. Guys wouldn't have to consider abortion or the pill if their condom broke. Especially in today's society. If it was the 'good ol' days' fathers would probably pressure the guy into marrying his daughter (pressure = shot gun). But now, single parents is normal.

hahaha guys should be FAR more concerned about the possibility of pregnancy than girls. after all, if it does happen he's not the one who gets to decide if he's going to be a parent or not...

 

[Riet]

hahaha guys should be FAR more concerned about the possibility of pregnancy than girls. after all, if it does happen he's not the one who gets to decide if he's going to be a parent or not...

Damn straight. If there was a male pill I would get a prescription for it SO fast.

 

[Silver Persian]

Just be gay Riet. The most reliable pill ever. Unless you accidently sleep with a pre-op transsexual.

 

[veruschka]

Simply put, the only person who I have sexual feelings for is my boyfriend and I am not ashamed of it.

 

[jmakowiak]

I think that its a combination of social conditioning as well as the characteristics of each sex.

Which is what I have been trying to say for the entire duration of this thread.

P.S. thanks for starting this interesting thread

No problem, it's really opened up some good discussion which i've enjoyed

 

[Teclis]

nope

it is far, far more incredible.

Teach us Oh Great one

 

[Daipire]

Sit back everyone, I've been away for a bit and i'm catching up to speed with some insight, and some witty one-liners.

Lawl I'm pretty sure penises urinate and have reproductive function too...

Hopefully not at the same time!

But essentially I so think something I just read has alot to do with it: "Men learn to associate sex with empowerment, where women learn to see it as objectification."

Tremendously correct, ever watch an episode of Mad Men (or, just an advert for that matter) ? Us guys have been drilled through the mind to think that money leads to sex and sex leads to power through the manipulation that is media

This of course, is probably the stupidest thing ever because if sex did lead to power, Hugh Heffner would be GOD

(and is it spelt Heffner?)

the clit is just a tiny penis head.

A+ Excellent work Riet

Disturbingly, I watched a small segment of a television show called Taboo on National Geographic, it was about a man with a hilarious high-pitched voice, or so i thought (dun dun duuuuuuun!) Turns out, that man was a (for lack of a more politically correct term) shemale, and he gladly told the camera (and a very shocked me) that his old clitoris has turned into a little penis due to the extra testosterone.

... I don't know how, I don't know why, and I don't kniw what it looks like, but by jesus, i don't want to find out...

Damn straight. If there was a male pill I would get a prescription for it SO fast.

And how would you suggest it would work? by poisoning your sperm? no thanks man

There's a 3% chance of a condom failing (from a Friends episode i watched) and if you wear two theres a 0.009% chance! (may want to check my maths, I did it in my head after holidays)

Which is what I have been trying to say for the entire duration of this thread.


No problem, it's really opened up some good discussion which i've enjoyed

Which is what everyone has been trying to say, nevertheless, the conversation moves on and in different directions, I'd reckon that the controversy of the topic would mean that this post may not end for a very long time (wouldn't it be ironic if this was the last post)


Sorry about the length of it, it was, as i said earlier, me catching up after going on holidays.

It's good to be back

 

[jmakowiak]

Well done Jor- I mean, Daipire. Good to see you're back, even though i'm reading this three weeks into school.

+1 for the witty one liners and general sense of awesomeshit.

The clitorpenis freaked the shit out of me in my head. I'm with you, I really, really, really don't ever want to see an abobimation like that, ever

I now also know that if I don't want to get a girl pregnant, I can do so knowing I have a 99.991% chance of success by using two condoms, fantastic reference to Friends, which I love

Sadly, though, that wasnt the last post of the thread. Likely this is though.

Peeyus