Regarding the slut/hero female/male double standard (1 Viewer)

[billstery]

Why do some females push the perceived unfairness of this whole double standard so heavily- why cant you simply accept it's just the way society is? What does complaining even achieve? Does it make you feel better about sleeping around?

Just the same way as when a guy dates you he pays for everything. Yes it's not equal yes it's not fair blah blah blah; get the fuck over it. Girls and guys are _not_ the same.

If you want to have sexual liberty and freedom take it, anyone with a reasonable level of maturity will accept that, and if they don't they probably aren't worth YOUR time anyway.

always felt like saying that

 

[Sarebs]

My response to being called a slut for doing the same thing most men do is...

"Society is dumb. I'm not going to change the way society thinks. If you chose to follow the way society thinks, rather than thinking for yourself, that's your choice. Just like it's my choice to sleep with anyone I want."

 

[Tulipa]

So you're advocating a "put up and shut up" attitude?

Yeah, because society has evolved and injustice been rectified by people sitting back and doing nothing about it

You're acknowledging it's a double standard which, by definition, is a problem but you're saying that it's okay for such a problem to exist. Men and women aren't the same but what's wrong with wanting the same advantages in life especially if you hold that all human beings are born equal.

 

[Riet]

More like why do women insist on calling each others sluts and whores and being bitchy toward each other if they dont agree with the double standard. I dont recall any occasion where my friends or myself have said something like "oh she has casual sex what a slut." Perhaps "Oh she sucked two guys off within half an hour, what a slut." but like, that would be slutty.

 

[billstery]

So you're advocating a "put up and shut up" attitude?

Yeah, because society has evolved and injustice been rectified by people sitting back and doing nothing about it

You're acknowledging it's a double standard which, by definition, is a problem but you're saying that it's okay for such a problem to exist. Men and women aren't the same but what's wrong with wanting the same advantages in life especially if you hold that all human beings are born equal.

I suppose I am. In most public arenas anyway- do you think that societal connotations change because people randomly complain about them?

And as far as double standards go, do you think its unfair that white people cant use the word nigger freely? As much as one would like to think that all humans are born equal that doesn't necessarily change the fact that these "social standards"(cant think of a better way to put it) exist. You don't hear anyone complaining about that in particular either. Do you think it's a problem?

 

[Tulipa]

I suppose I am. In most public arenas anyway- do you think that societal connotations change because people randomly complain about them?

And as far as double standards go, do you think its unfair that white people cant use the word nigger freely? As much as one would like to think that all humans are born equal that doesn't necessarily change the fact that these "social standards"(cant think of a better way to put it) exist. You don't hear anyone complaining about that in particular either. Do you think it's a problem?

Are you not complaining about it now Also, that's definitely a racial issue that doesn't really affect you in the same way. It's politically incorrect for you to use a word that was created by white men in order to be derogatory. There are issues of "reclaiming" words and such but that's a different issue. This double standard affects all women, all the time.

"Complaining", as you so eloquently put it, can lead to actual debate about the subject. Get people debating these issues, putting forward ways in which to rectify it and things can change. I'm not saying that all approaches are valid, whining about it without putting forward constructive points won't do much of anything but doing nothing is just as pointless.

Also, just because society thinks something is "right" doesn't mean it is. Just because something is the status quo right now doesn't mean that has to be so forever. Social standards have been broken down - just look at the how far we've come on a number of issues in the last century.

It's a bullshit side effect of an inherently patriachial society that women don't enjoy the sexual freedom that men do but it doesn't have to continue like that. I'm not advocating that all women should go out and sleep with as many people as possible but, hypothetically, why is it okay to call a woman a slut for having fifteen sexual partners when a man wouldn't receive the same treatment?

 

[dieburndie]

Why do some females push the perceived unfairness of this whole double standard so heavily- why cant you simply accept it's just the way society is?

To put it bluntly, this is nothing more than a thinly veiled insult to not only women, but any other social group which has been historically marginalised and oppressed and has subsequently fought for the recognition and independence they should have been granted to begin with.

You would be wise to reevaluate the implications of what you are saying. Maybe you should read up on the historical evolution of civil rights. At some point I hope you realise how disgraceful your views really are, and can express a point of view representative of something other than pitiful ignorance.

 

[billstery]

To put it bluntly, this is nothing more than a thinly veiled insult to not only women, but any other social group which has been historically marginalised and oppressed and has subsequently fought for the recognition and independence they should have been granted to begin with.

You would be wise to reevaluate the implications of what you are saying. Maybe you should read up on the historical evolution of civil rights. At some point I hope you realise how disgraceful your views really are, and can express a point of view representative of something other than pitiful ignorance.

Oh please. Perhaps the quoted statement does represent an overly disrespectful view, but you've certainly blown it out of proportion. Disgraceful? Pitiful ignorance? give me a break dude.

Obviously I should expect to be flamed being a new poster, and presenting a somewhat controversial view, but regardless, i lold

will get back to rest later, tired and wanna think about it

 

[melsc]

So you're advocating a "put up and shut up" attitude?

Yeah, because society has evolved and injustice been rectified by people sitting back and doing nothing about it

You're acknowledging it's a double standard which, by definition, is a problem but you're saying that it's okay for such a problem to exist. Men and women aren't the same but what's wrong with wanting the same advantages in life especially if you hold that all human beings are born equal.

+1

More like why do women insist on calling each others sluts and whores and being bitchy toward each other if they dont agree with the double standard. I dont recall any occasion where my friends or myself have said something like "oh she has casual sex what a slut." Perhaps "Oh she sucked two guys off within half an hour, what a slut." but like, that would be slutty.

Not all guys would say it to another guy or girl but that doesn't mean that they would date her. I mean come on, I have heard lots of guys, in particular on this site they wouldn't go out with a girl who sleeps around, not saying the words doesn't mean the effect is any different.



In addition, what the OP said about the whole guy paying thing. My rule generally is whoever asked the person out pays, so if the guy asks the girl on the first date then he pays, if she then asks him out in return then she pays.
Then once it becomes more comfortable, then you can discuss who goes pays when and how much (i.e. if someone earns more/less then they pay an appropriate proportion or split it 50/50). I DONT think its fair to expect the guy to pay all the time, thinking a girl expects that is a huge generalisation so don't use that as an argument.

 

[wolf22]

Just the same way as when a guy dates you he pays for everything.

haha lol. yes, i can imagine a guy like you paying for sex. that is what a man is doing when he pays for "everything".

i believe your point is actually becoming a little dated. while there is slightly still that perceived "slut" stereotype, i don't think it's really THAT bad. I know loads of girls and guys who have casual sex and no one gives a toss.

casual sex isn't all it's cracked up to be though. can be quite unfulfilling.

 

[David Spade]

Women fighting this status quo are just sluts wanting to make themselves not seem so bad

 

[gouge.away]

you should get laid more.

 

[David Spade]

7 times tyesterday bby
hit me up if ur keen for that kind of stamina and etc

 

[gouge.away]

7 times tyesterday bby
hit me up if ur keen for that kind of stamina and etc

darling that was directed at OP.

i'll call on your services when i'm in need xo

 

[billstery]

Are you not complaining about it now

I hope this doesn't mean what I think it means, if so thats pretty immature =/
I dont think i really need to explain why either..

Also, that's definitely a racial issue that doesn't really affect you in the same way. It's politically incorrect for you to use a word that was created by white men in order to be derogatory. There are issues of "reclaiming" words and such but that's a different issue. This double standard affects all women, all the time.

Yeah, but it's still a double standard- one you don't hear too much discontentment about. That was the point of bringing it up (You said that they were a problem, yet most seem fine with the way it is, correct me if I'm wrong)

I'm also aware that gender and race are different categories, but you also brought up the point that all humans are born equal, so now we narrow the point to all genders being equal, just sayin'...

"Complaining", as you so eloquently put it, can lead to actual debate about the subject. Get people debating these issues, putting forward ways in which to rectify it and things can change. I'm not saying that all approaches are valid, whining about it without putting forward constructive points won't do much of anything but doing nothing is just as pointless.

Also, just because society thinks something is "right" doesn't mean it is. Just because something is the status quo right now doesn't mean that has to be so forever. Social standards have been broken down - just look at the how far we've come on a number of issues in the last century.

It's a bullshit side effect of an inherently patriachial society that women don't enjoy the sexual freedom that men do but it doesn't have to continue like that. I'm not advocating that all women should go out and sleep with as many people as possible but, hypothetically, why is it okay to call a woman a slut for having fifteen sexual partners when a man wouldn't receive the same treatment?

The dissent (better?)that I'm talking about certainly can't lead to any productive debate, you mention this yourself. Unfortunately all the whining is done by all the wrong people in all the wrong places, which is pretty freaking pointless and in general annoying. That was a primary purpose of the thread.

Another possibly moreso relevant issue, pointed out by another poster, is that the terms slutty and whatever synonyms you can muster up are bandied around by those who condemn the connotation itself! hmmmm...

As for the nature of the connotation, I guess you have me there- I didn't really think about it deeply enough before I conjured this up I suppose. As for the origin of it, I doubt it has as much to do with the patriarchal dominance more than the difference in libido.

However, on a bit of a sidenote, I still don't think that the status quo as far as women's perceived roles/status in society will change, at least not for a very long time, due to difference in genetical makeup.

+1


Not all guys would say it to another guy or girl but that doesn't mean that they would date her. I mean come on, I have heard lots of guys, in particular on this site they wouldn't go out with a girl who sleeps around, not saying the words doesn't mean the effect is any different.



In addition, what the OP said about the whole guy paying thing. My rule generally is whoever asked the person out pays, so if the guy asks the girl on the first date then he pays, if she then asks him out in return then she pays.
Then once it becomes more comfortable, then you can discuss who goes pays when and how much (i.e. if someone earns more/less then they pay an appropriate proportion or split it 50/50). I DONT think its fair to expect the guy to pay all the time, thinking a girl expects that is a huge generalisation so don't use that as an argument.

zuh? at part one

As far as paying goes, maybe I'm just used to paying for most things when I'm going out with someone. I have also been hanging out with a lot of people who also pay everything for their gf's lately, so maybe I have a skewed opinion, but I think it's generally expected of us to cover most things- not that I really have an issue with it or anything. Maybe you're hanging out with the wrong guys =]

.

 

[morning storm]

to put it bluntly, this is nothing more than a thinly veiled insult to not only women, but any other social group which has been historically marginalised and oppressed and has subsequently fought for the recognition and independence they should have been granted to begin with.

You would be wise to reevaluate the implications of what you are saying. Maybe you should read up on the historical evolution of civil rights. At some point i hope you realise how disgraceful your views really are, and can express a point of view representative of something other than pitiful ignorance.

+1

 

[melsc]

zuh? at part one

As far as paying goes, maybe I'm just used to paying for most things when I'm going out with someone. I have also been hanging out with a lot of people who also pay everything for their gf's lately, so maybe I have a skewed opinion, but I think it's generally expected of us to cover most things- not that I really have an issue with it or anything. Maybe you're hanging out with the wrong guys =]

.

What I meant was just because a guy doesn't say 'oh she's a slut because she sleeps around' to other people, doesn't mean that thinking doesn't factor in when he considers dating girls.

I don't know maybe I just know a lot of considerate girls. Don't get me wrong, I love it when my b/f pays but thats more the concept on him wanting to pay (i.e. wanting to do something special) than a money thing but I still enjoy taking turns and don't think its fair to expect the guys to pay but meh, maybe thats me and the fact I know a lot of poor students who need to take turns.

 

[Daipire]

Women fighting this status quo are just sluts wanting to make themselves not seem so bad

Haha, though i suppose to a certain extent this it true

Notice the words 'suppose' and 'to a certain extent'

 

[sombrero]

Look into the psychology, history, etc behind it

Personally, I think its due to reproduction procedures
A women can grow a baby which takes around nine months or so...
Whilst men can theoretically *make* a baby many times a day to different ladies - hundreds of them.
It is impossible for a woman to conceive near that many (Being pregnant for more than half a year and all)

You see back in the day the alpha male mated with many of the tribe's lady-folk. It was acceptable for men to mate with a lot of women, however, if a woman mated with someone not acceptable by the tribe, they would be killed.
Good genes, survival...

Its hard to explain arghh

 

[Daipire]

Look into the psychology, history, etc behind it

Personally, I think its due to reproduction procedures
A women can grow a baby which takes around nine months or so...
Whilst men can theoretically *make* a baby many times a day to different ladies - hundreds of them.
It is impossible for a woman to conceive near that many (Being pregnant for more than half a year and all)

You see back in the day the alpha male mated with many of the tribe's lady-folk. It was acceptable for men to mate with a lot of women, however, if a woman mated with someone not acceptable by the tribe, they would be killed.
Good genes, survival...

Its hard to explain arghh

Oh and by the way, in the olden days, cause the dudes would get their asses handed to them on the battlefield, bigamy was pretty common practice so that each female had a [living] husband, and can therefore mate and pop out babies to get their asses kicked on future battlefields.

This might lead onwards to today OR, men are favourites in society, and their blemishes (such as ****ing like, alot of people) are often overlooked while the disliked females get scalded by their 'notches on the bed' if you will.


ANYWAY, double standards are everywhere, like seriously, I'd give you a few examples, but i'm going to go eat some brownies...