Mental social ability is broken? (1 Viewer)

[HSCAREA]

Hi people of BoS,

I've just discovered a weird social problem going on in today's world.

Is there a growing trend of people become less social? People always hooked up to phones in order to avoid social contact? The separation of girls from boys in high schools, has significantly degraded social contact between the two genders? (As each gender has spent predominately 6 or so years in an environment without contact from the opposite gender of their age group, causing shyness to prevail).

I came up with this theory, because I feel I'm a prime example of this result.

When ever I go to a place to meet new people, I'm always the one to say hello FIRST. No one else ever says it except me.

-I can barely speak to a member of the opposite gender within the same age group. I feel a lot of people have this problem. I blame the separation from the opposite gender in my age group for a period of 6 yrs or more.
-I also suppose, I don't want to talk to the opposite gender, because they might feel that I'm just talking to them to have sex afterwards.
-A group of strangers is the hardest to talk to, esp if they are the opposite gender.
-Loud environments are really bad to meet new people, because if I speak (My voice blends in really easily with the surrounding environment, no one hears me unless I yell which isn't worth the convo.
-I don't go out much, and when I do I find it extremely hard to talk to the opp gender - most of the time I don't even get to talk to them. I'm also scared that they'll have a potential mate near by, who they are already dating or friends with.
-What I find really annoying is when you go to a party and the Host doesn't introduce who everyone is. So annoying.
-I feel socially retarded in these situations, and am drastically trying to find solutions out of this mind fuckery.

If only I had a group of friends from the opp sex to go out with, I feel this problem would eventually go away. But for now I'm stuck in a deep black hole Help!

I've read similar threads on here (but they aren't the same as my problem), so you people must have some solutions.

 

[Chemical Ali]

this is gonna be good

 

[Mature Lamb]

not luvin dat feel enough

 

[Bored_of_HSC]

But for now I'm stuck in a deep black hole

We know that ain't ever gonna happen.

 

[Bored_of_HSC]

If this isn't trolling:

As to your first point. I think that's just your perception. People are still sociable but the mediums they use to communicate are different.
As for your second point. Chill. Where's the rush to get a bf/gf? Also you've got the whole of uni/the rest of your life lol. And most people overcome the "social retardedness" through repeated interaction.

In the meantime just enjoy the wide variety of resources offered to you by the internet.

 

[HSCAREA]

If this isn't trolling:

As to your first point. I think that's just your perception. People are still sociable but the mediums they use to communicate are different.
As for your second point. Chill. Where's the rush to get a bf/gf? Also you've got the whole of uni/the rest of your life lol. And most people overcome the "social retardedness" through repeated interaction.

In the meantime just enjoy the wide variety of resources offered to you by the internet.

Yeah. For the 1st point. Some people will just use technology as another medium. But like at a party, seriously, phones should not even be looked at (except for time or important calls). the party should be better to keep people entertained. I think it's just that times are changing and people"always want to be kept up with the latest info" etc.

There's more problems:

I don't like to dance. (But I will dance if I'm drunk).
I don't like to drink. (But yeah I will do it if peer pressure arises, just to shut them up).
I'm not really the party goer type...sad face. My friends went there separate ways, now I'm a lone wolf.

As for 2nd point. Most of the people around me seem to be getting Gfs and bfs (respectively). I'm 18 and have never had a proper gf or even a friend I could chill from the female spectrum (I feel like I'm still a 12 year old kid) inside. I feel like I'm missing out on life I know I will have more opportunities in life..but I could die tomorrow, and have not had a true gf to love I just hope uni and my future life will present lots of opportunities to meet new people comfortably.

Thanks for your legit replies. I feel a little better now.

 

[Bored_of_HSC]

Yeah. For the 1st point. Some people will just use technology as another medium. But like at a party, seriously, phones should not even be looked at (except for time or important calls). the party should be better to keep people entertained. I think it's just that times are changing and people"always want to be kept up with the latest info" etc.

There's more problems:

I don't like to dance. (But I will dance if I'm drunk).
I don't like to drink. (But yeah I will do it if peer pressure arises, just to shut them up).
I'm not really the party goer type...sad face. My friends went there separate ways, now I'm a lone wolf.

As for 2nd point. Most of the people around me seem to be getting Gfs and bfs (respectively). I'm 18 and have never had a proper gf or even a friend I could chill from the female spectrum (I feel like I'm still a 12 year old kid) inside. I feel like I'm missing out on life I know I will have more opportunities in life..but I could die tomorrow, and have not had a true gf to love I just hope uni and my future life will present lots of opportunities to meet new people comfortably.

Thanks for your legit replies. I feel a little better now.

Okay, no troll would go to these lengths. So:

They're usually a minority. And people usually hate the shit out of them either way.

M8. Honestly the only thing you can do is just get out there. Go out as much as you can. Meet new people. And approach to take when making friends (or potential gf's) is just try to be aware of how they react to what you do. Just be aware of their emotions and how they react to hit you do. But the best way to get ot of this is just by being friends with people like you and who appreciate you for who you are

Also, you make it out that everyone else in the world is constantly having an orgy. Chill.

Or just ask Shadowdude. I've heard he's a real stud. (bitches be lining up for a night with him)

 

[thrillkiller]

I think its kind of a trend these days with youth to be unsocial and introverted. Also i think you're thinking about it too much.
when talking to someone just go with the flow of the conversation dont worry about it that much

 

[Arcorn]

Lol, blaming your failings in the social sphere on the fact you went to a single gender school.

 

[Shadowdude]

Oh you'll dance once you get a few drinks into you. I remember dancing after a few friends made me down a couple of drinks...

i can't believe i did that stuff

looking back on it now... so embarrassing.

 

[HSCAREA]

would you take heroin to shut people up?

No. That's beyond limits.

Lol, blaming your failings in the social sphere on the fact you went to a single gender school.

Well going to a co-ed maybe would of helped with the social side of things, but probably would of been detrimental to my academic performance.

Oh you'll dance once you get a few drinks into you. I remember dancing after a few friends made me down a couple of drinks...

i can't believe i did that stuff

looking back on it now... so embarrassing.

Yeah, I've done it once. But like how does dancing let you meet new people? Unless like someone new offers to dance with you, you're pretty much just dancing with your group of mates, unless you wana expand and just jump into someone else group which would be awkwardly random for me to do, because I'm not the type of person who does those types of things.

Ehhh I just wana make friends who appreciate me for who I am. Not so that I have to change to fit in with the crowd. It's annoying as fuck. I know the typical thing most young teenages do, is get drunk, go clubbing and what ever, but some people are just not into it. I have a friend who doesn't prefer clubbing due to its atmosphere, but that's just him.

Right now I have a problem, most of my friends are just guys from school. The only girls are from primary (which we never talk any more - maybe 1 will occasionally but that's it) and I've met some randoms through friends. They go out occasionally. But they aren't particularly 'my type' and I think one of my mates is already hitting on her.

 

[Shadowdude]

how do you meet people through dancing... oh, oh, oh i read an article about this

you go up to a girl and chat her up and later on ask her to dance if there's a good song on

if you do well, you can take her home that night (presumably for a fifa sesh or something)

 

[HSCAREA]

how do you meet people through dancing... oh, oh, oh i read an article about this

you go up to a girl and chat her up and later on ask her to dance if there's a good song on

if you do well, you can take her home that night (presumably for a fifa sesh or something)

El Problem # 1: Music is too loud and will drown out my voice, rendering it useless for any form of socialisation.
El Problem # 2: There is no problem

do you have that link? post it please if you do

 

[RANK 1]

just copy what they do to get girls on inbetweeners (especially that dance scene) and you'll be fine

 

[HSCAREA]

just copy what they do to get girls on inbetweeners (especially that dance scene) and you'll be fine

Haven't seen that movie, nor do I plan to.

 

[eggs4days]

No. That's beyond limits.



Well going to a co-ed maybe would of helped with the social side of things, but probably would of been detrimental to my academic performance.



Yeah, I've done it once. But like how does dancing let you meet new people? Unless like someone new offers to dance with you, you're pretty much just dancing with your group of mates, unless you wana expand and just jump into someone else group which would be awkwardly random for me to do, because I'm not the type of person who does those types of things.

Ehhh I just wana make friends who appreciate me for who I am. Not so that I have to change to fit in with the crowd. It's annoying as fuck. I know the typical thing most young teenages do, is get drunk, go clubbing and what ever, but some people are just not into it. I have a friend who doesn't prefer clubbing due to its atmosphere, but that's just him.

Right now I have a problem, most of my friends are just guys from school. The only girls are from primary (which we never talk any more - maybe 1 will occasionally but that's it) and I've met some randoms through friends. They go out occasionally. But they aren't particularly 'my type' and I think one of my mates is already hitting on her.

dude. im actually in the exact same boat as u. im not even going to lie, our situations are exactly the same 100%. i have tried to work on the issue by going out and stuff, however, its difficult, since like yourself, my friends are all male, except for the few gurls from primary =( . contrary to ur "anti-club" feel, i rekn that the club is a great place to go to, if not meet people, feel 'normal' thru interpersonal contact~ ie the grinding, which is amazing btw. the only other soln , i have been able to come up with, is like somebody else suggested, to simply go out time an again and try to meet people, whether it be thru mutual friends or socials.

are you in uni or highschool? uve finished hs right? this is just what i have experienced, and its only advice.

 

[SpiralFlex]

This thread is true.

 

[HSCAREA]

dude. im actually in the exact same boat as u. im not even going to lie, our situations are exactly the same 100%. i have tried to work on the issue by going out and stuff, however, its difficult, since like yourself, my friends are all male, except for the few gurls from primary =( . contrary to ur "anti-club" feel, i rekn that the club is a great place to go to, if not meet people, feel 'normal' thru interpersonal contact~ ie the grinding, which is amazing btw.

are you in uni or highschool? uve finished hs right?

Yeah I've finished hs.

I can talk to people fine and can talk to the opp gender fine (love dat feel afterwards), but starting the conversation is the hardest part I believe. It takes a lot of courage to start a conversation with a person you've never met before. Some people can do it instantaneously, I kinda 'wait' for the perfect quiet moment, when my voice can be heard - which never happens in a club environment.

I've even see girls at tutoring and work, but only had the chance to talk once outside of class, and that was it I wanted to ask her out, but apparently she already had a bf. The ones from work, err i just wana say hi, but I dunno if it's the right place. It's so hard to say hi in front of a group of strangers. I can say Hi 1 on 1 no problem, but when there's a group oh God, I can't do it!

I feel ya!

 

[Shadowdude]

dude. im actually in the exact same boat as u. im not even going to lie, our situations are exactly the same 100%. i have tried to work on the issue by going out and stuff, however, its difficult, since like yourself, my friends are all male, except for the few gurls from primary =( . contrary to ur "anti-club" feel, i rekn that the club is a great place to go to, if not meet people, feel 'normal' thru interpersonal contact~ ie the grinding, which is amazing btw. the only other soln , i have been able to come up with, is like somebody else suggested, to simply go out time an again and try to meet people, whether it be thru mutual friends or socials.

are you in uni or highschool? uve finished hs right? this is just what i have experienced, and its only advice.

*blank stare*

implying something there are we

 

[eggs4days]

haha.. yes, if u cant make real friends, grind on hot chickz at Volar or Vanity.