PAST HSC'ERS: What advice would give to parents who kids are starting Prelim & HSC? (1 Viewer)

[Victoria_L]

Hi everybody!

Last year the SRC decided they would do the Newsletter for 2014. We had an idea to do an advice column for parents who children would be starting year 11 or even year 12 (which is a difficult time).

I was wondering if there was anything your parents did that helped make your HSC years better for example they motivated you, provided a good place to study, Provided good, balanced meals and stocking up on healthy snacks, Encouraging a balanced lifestyle etc etc etc.

Or was there anything you wished your parents would have done to help make your HSC years better?

Thank you guys!

 

[OzKo]

Re: PAST HSC'ERS: What advice would give to parents who kids are starting Prelim & HS

Don't pressure your child.

In most cases, they are able to deal with issues within their own support network (barring anything serious where greater consultation may be necessary) so learn to back off. A parent is often seen as a distraction rather than a dependable source for advice. That isn't to say that you shouldn't help, but I think it's critical that parents don't push their child on a constant basis. They can get better support from other students and teachers considering they are more 'in the know' in regards to secondary education and strategies to cope.

 

[rumbleroar]

Re: PAST HSC'ERS: What advice would give to parents who kids are starting Prelim & HS

For me, I had parents on both ends of the spectrum - one insanely supportive and the other was a complete wad about everything I did (at one point, the latter and I had a massive argument about my HSC subjects and why I wasn't doing 3 sciences, complete baloney)

My mum (the supportive one) always encouraged me to do my best, which I found really good, but sometimes really annoying/disheartening at the same time because at some points of my senior years, I was really disappointed with some of my marks and stuff, and expected a more stern response than "don't stress, you're fine" type of thing. (Tbf, I have extremely high expectations of myself, as pointed out by almost everyone around me, so my mum was probably right in saying the things she does say to me) I think she had (and still has, hopefully) confidence in my ability to "reach for the stars" and all that inspirational bs, which relieved the concern of me stuffing up for her, as she's never been like, "oh you must get 100% in each test" or "be a doctor or you're shame", etc., which has made HS a lot easier because I don't have those parental expectations, much like my peers, many of whom are coerced into doing med and stuff by disillusioned parents, that don't recognise their child's true capacities (i.e. I have friends passionate about the arts, but are forced into med).

I was also encouraged a lot to do sport and stuff by my mum, which was great because I have that break amongst study. So there's the balanced lifestyle bit

I think with that being said, parents should recognise their child's true capabilities and likes, etc, rather than force or pressure them into things they don't like. (That's what my dad did, and wanted me to change my subjects to doing 3 sciences instead of stuff I was passionate about, and made derogatory comments about almost all my subjects and everything I did. I was also compared a lot to child prodigies, whose achievements were beyond my field of expertise, i.e. being compared to a BMus prodigy, despite having no genuine interest in pursuing my instruments to a higher level. Was not appreciated at all and hated it, made some days a living nightmare.)

So to summarise my ramble and rant, I think parents really need to be there for their child and offer advice to them that is really sound, without being too "nice". I think they also need to know when to back off and not to push it, otherwise their child can harbour resentment (lol me) and that can strain future relations and stuff post HSC, which can be pretty bad They should also recognise their child's capabilities and not coerce them into doing things they don't want to do.

Hope that helped

 

[JohnMaximus]

Re: PAST HSC'ERS: What advice would give to parents who kids are starting Prelim & HS

Every time you don't smack your child they lose 1 atar.

 

[LoveHateSchool]

Re: PAST HSC'ERS: What advice would give to parents who kids are starting Prelim & HS

Hi everybody!

Last year the SRC decided they would do the Newsletter for 2014. We had an idea to do an advice column for parents who children would be starting year 11 or even year 12 (which is a difficult time).

I was wondering if there was anything your parents did that helped make your HSC years better for example they motivated you, provided a good place to study, Provided good, balanced meals and stocking up on healthy snacks, Encouraging a balanced lifestyle etc etc etc.

Or was there anything you wished your parents would have done to help make your HSC years better?

Thank you guys!

My parents were completely no pressure during the HSC-which I think is a good approach. Especially when often parents don't understand the system as well as their child. However I think there are some other non invasive ways parents can be helpful;
*Don't ask your kids to do chores/jobs/find the TV remote when they are in study mode. My mum would always do this when I was trying to do a timed paper and it was the most irritating thing of all time when she could have waited half an hour. (Or done things herself)
*Make sure there is a comfortable study area that is respected and quiet from other siblings, with good light and a desk etc.
*I would have loved my parents to have dinner for me some of the time. It was annoying that I had to organise dinner every night for the whole family and taking time out sometimes when I had assessment task the next day. Also made me more prone to get fast food for the time impetus. I know balance of responsibility and all, but it would have been nice to not have to do it myself every night when they also have to eat. (Or at least have groceries in the fridge so I could make food out of that, instead of always having to do that as well).
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Other general tips:
*Respect their break time-if they've been studying and need a break respect it and let them have it in peace without nagging.
*Don't compare to other siblings/friends etc. everyone does the HSC differently, also everyone has different goals.
*Subtly encourage a balanced lifestyle, if kid wants to go out with friends on weekend, don't be like "No you must study", just let them manage themselves. If they want to quit all their ECs/are withdrawing a lot, you could pose a counter offer like "Aww it'd be a shame for you to quit soccer completely, why don't you ease off the comp squad and just play in the rec league?"
*If they seem a bit demotivated, some general encouragement would be good. Don't dismiss/invalidate their emotions (this is something I see parents do far too often). Supportive, but not pushy.

 

[enoilgam]

Re: PAST HSC'ERS: What advice would give to parents who kids are starting Prelim & HS

I think the best thing my parents did for me was to stay out of my way. Parents want what is best for their children and I understand that, but they have to have faith that their children will be able to find their own way. Having your parents pester you over study doesnt do much in my view but reduce confidence, which is a key aspect of motivation.

Apart from that, they should be supportive and there to listen.

 

[Absolutezero]

Re: PAST HSC'ERS: What advice would give to parents who kids are starting Prelim & HS

Every time you don't smack your child they lose 1 atar.

bruise points are bonus points

 

[studybuddy101]

Re: PAST HSC'ERS: What advice would give to parents who kids are starting Prelim & HS

parents should be more of a support system that the student goes to when needed, they shouldn't play an active role in HSC year. My parents were very supportive and simply let me do my own thing.

However they shouldn't get to a point where the student feels like their easy-going nature is them not caring (something i felt about my parents during HSC). It's important to not feel like you've outgrown your parents before you've even made it to 18.

In simple, they should have a knowledge of how the HSC and ATAR systems work rather than a knowledge of the subjects their child is doing (HSC should be a move towards independence). In that way the child will feel their parents are involved and care but are not pushy etc

I wonder what it feels like to have a child doing the HSC though? we can't really see that perspective i guess

 

[panda15]

Re: PAST HSC'ERS: What advice would give to parents who kids are starting Prelim & HS

My parents were good in the sense that they never questioned my study habits and never pushed me to pick up certain subjects. If they saw me chilling on the couch when I got home from school, they knew I was having an off day and needed a break from school work. They also didn't disturb me unless it was important because they didn't want to break my "study zone".
They were also good in that they encouraged the social side of the HSC. I'd played rugby since I was 9, but my plan was to give it up for my HSC year. My parents convinced me to keep at it to distract me from my studies for a couple hours on the weekend. Plus, they soon realised that my way of getting rid of the HSC stress was to get heaps loose of a Friday night, so they were never too pissed off when I came stumbling home at 3 in the morning blind as a bat.

So I guess the best thing that parents can do is realise that their child is old enough that they can take on the HSC independently, and that interfering with their HSC study/subject selections does more harm than good. They can help their child by acting as a support system, as well as encouraging the social side of the HSC.

 

[d-alarmclock]

Re: PAST HSC'ERS: What advice would give to parents who kids are starting Prelim & HS

I think my parents need to spend more time knowing exactly how far I've gone with my studying, so they can push me when they need to, and relax when I've done my part of the deal. Right now, they're kind of letting me do my own thing, which is making me feel guilty about not doing enough. Personally, i'd rather have someone tell me what to do and set deadlines for me (but that's just me). But I reckon, for each child it's different. Best thing you can do is talk to them at the beginning of each term and tell them what you would like them to do. They will listen to everything you say, they only want the best for your stressful year ahead.