Modern History General Questions and Essay Help Thread (2 Viewers)

[dinomyte]

Yep, I know how it can get frustrating sometimes when its difficult to differentiate between narrative and analysis. Some key tips that my teacher and friends recommended:

- When making notes, minimise *what* happened in the event but make it about the *importance* of the event. Talk about the *whys* and the *effects*, but minimise the *whats*.
- Textbooks often are full of narrative. This is why textbooks can't be used as references in essays because they lack academic opinion. Similarly, don't talk like your textbook.
- Analysis is *linking* your evidence to your argument. ~*~*LINK*~*~ however avoid superficial links and make sure it is logically fluid.
- Have a strong argument, and your essay will tend to be more analytical.

You can send me a paragraph of your essay if you want and I can try help you. I need a break from my uni readings.

 

[Ununoctium]

So I'm really struggling with this problem for Modern History at the moment. My teacher would always tell me that in most parts of my essays, I recount my content as opposed to analysing. In turn, I can never seem to breach the 20/25 barrier and this frustrates me a lot. I get it - you're supposed to explain why and how x,y,z happened (like dinomyte said) - but HOW exactly do you do this? How do you avoid describing the event?

Furthermore, I haven't been doing as well as I hoped for the first two assessments; we haven't been given our ranks yet, but from what I know I've gotten marks between 60-70% and I honestly can't understand why I'm doing badly. So are my chances of a b5/b6 for modern history gone? Feeling lost.

NEVER in history recount or tell a story/narrative.

You need to use the facts and information that you have learnt to PROVE AN ARGUMENT, that is, YOUR CONTENTION.

For example, my contention may be this:

Lenin's leadership was indeed the most significant factor in the Bolshevik's successful consolidation of power between 1917 and 1924.

Now, you need to substantiate this contention, again using your knowledge as your argument's fuel (or evidence).

Craft a contention and argue it!

 

[sweetalmond]

Hi was wondering if anyone has studied/ is learning either South Africa national study or Nelson Mandela. The HTA study guides don't cover these topics and textbooks have limited information for each dotpoint. Similarly HSC Online is the only place to go, but the info is an exact replica of Checkpoints Modern History.
I'm really struggling to find good, thorough information that follows the syllabus.

 

[sweetalmond]

Hi.
Recently got back my assessment task 2 for modern and really disappointed. I only scored a 17/ 25. My ranking for my first assessment was =1, and in this assessment it is =18, and my accumulative rank is now 6.
I really need to know how to improve. The test was on two questions South Africa National Study, there was a statement/ quote on something to do with apartheid and then a question of 'what is the accuracy of this source in relation to policy/ practices of apartheid' and one on Nelson Mandela and his rise to prominence.
I am disappointed, do you have any tips for improving on these types of essays.
The teacher said I was not answering the question in my first sentence even though I thought I did. I just didn't use the same wording of the question. She also said, I had to explain not just what was it, but the consequences so it could have more analysis and to break my arguments into small paragraphs.
So my questions are:
1. What and how do you analyse for a national/ personality study essay question
2. If you had for example three points/ arguments you are going to talk about. Do you do three paragraphs, because some of my arguments/ points were a page long and I got deducted marks as it apparently obscured my argument. Because, if you start a new paragraph, aren't you starting a new idea or point?
3. also do you need to put historiography in, because the teacher hasn't really said anything about it, but I've been going on tips and apparently the top essays have it.

Right, now I'm just disappointed by my mark and slightly freaking out as my mid course exam for it is tomorrow!!

 

[nomieee]

My teacher gave us the following structure for all essays and it rEALLY helps me to stop narrating

Intro:

General statement (ie. About the topic)
Make a judgement (eg, if the question is a "to what extent" question say for example, "it is to a critically significant extent that Trotsky's role in organising the Red Army lead to the Bolshevik victory in the Russian Civil War" | if Assess the factors then make a judgement as to which is the MOST SIGNIFICANT (eg. A vitally significant factor in the Bolshevik consolidation of power was the role of the NEP etc etc)
Then go on to outline the points you will make, also making a judgement about the extent that they are useful to. Make sure to use Analysis words such as critically, vitally, pivotal, marginally, moderately, slight etc etc

Argument paragraphs

Step 1 must be an argument (it's not an argument unless you use Because or As) so for example "It is to a critically significant extent that Trotsky's role in organising the red army lead to Russia's victory in the Russian Civil War BECAUSE he kept them United towards a common goal and effectively organised troops making the Red Army into a credible fighting force"
Step 2: justify your argument with examples, and explain the effect of each example to avoid Narration
Step 3: Link the argument back to the question ( re answer the question using that argument)

Conclusion:

Re answer the question and state why using the points that you used in your argument.

I'm not sure if every school uses this structure but I know my brother's doesn't and that's why he has a lot of trouble writing essays for history, but I've always used this structure and find it helps a lot

PS. Sorry for all the Russia examples, I just did my half yearly so Russia is on the brain

 

[MrInoeverthin]

So my questions are:
1. What and how do you analyse for a national/ personality study essay question
2. If you had for example three points/ arguments you are going to talk about. Do you do three paragraphs, because some of my arguments/ points were a page long and I got deducted marks as it apparently obscured my argument. Because, if you start a new paragraph, aren't you starting a new idea or point?
3. also do you need to put historiography in, because the teacher hasn't really said anything about it, but I've been going on tips and apparently the top essays have it.

Right, now I'm just disappointed by my mark and slightly freaking out as my mid course exam for it is tomorrow!!

For your questions to be answered, historiography is utilised in order for you to form an analysis on a particular event, or (one of your points). Like for example;

you provide you historiography along with your information which is your analysis. Then introduce yet again another quote (historiography) which argues against your first one, provide your information and facts along with that, and you should form a thorough analysis on your specified argument.

Also try to point out which view is 'incorrect', and as to why it is incorrect, and that's followed up by more information (bias becomes involved)

Even though my teacher literally did not teach us or tell us anything about historiography, I found BOS, and I learnt off her, that it is very important and essential for maintaining a logical and cohesive argument.

Historiography = Basis (evidence)
Analysis = facts and information to support that view presented by the historian.
Then you either agree or disagree with one historian and present which ideal is most correct and why.

A personality study I believe also uses a similar structure, but its much more factual and you need to keep note of times, dates and significant aspects of the life of your personality.

There are many guides on here as well. So have a look at them, and try to implement some advice that is given.

So don't take my word on this, but I did alright in Modern history. Hopefully I answered your questions

 

[MrInoeverthin]

My teacher gave us the following structure for all essays and it rEALLY helps me to stop narrating

Intro:

General statement (ie. About the topic)
Make a judgement (eg, if the question is a "to what extent" question say for example, "it is to a critically significant extent that Trotsky's role in organising the Red Army lead to the Bolshevik victory in the Russian Civil War" | if Assess the factors then make a judgement as to which is the MOST SIGNIFICANT (eg. A vitally significant factor in the Bolshevik consolidation of power was the role of the NEP etc etc)
Then go on to outline the points you will make, also making a judgement about the extent that they are useful to. Make sure to use Analysis words such as critically, vitally, pivotal, marginally, moderately, slight etc etc

Argument paragraphs

Step 1 must be an argument (it's not an argument unless you use Because or As) so for example "It is to a critically significant extent that Trotsky's role in organising the red army lead to Russia's victory in the Russian Civil War BECAUSE he kept them United towards a common goal and effectively organised troops making the Red Army into a credible fighting force"
Step 2: justify your argument with examples, and explain the effect of each example to avoid Narration
Step 3: Link the argument back to the question ( re answer the question using that argument)

Conclusion:

Re answer the question and state why using the points that you used in your argument.

I'm not sure if every school uses this structure but I know my brother's doesn't and that's why he has a lot of trouble writing essays for history, but I've always used this structure and find it helps a lot

PS. Sorry for all the Russia examples, I just did my half yearly so Russia is on the brain

Doing Trotsky, I see

Nvm. Russia was my national study as well

 

[sweetalmond]

I was wondering if you could send a sample to me also through private message. I am also struggling to breach that 20/ 25 and I'm having trouble analyzing, or giving examples without explaining.

 

[sweetalmond]

My teacher gave us the following structure for all essays and it rEALLY helps me to stop narrating

Intro:

General statement (ie. About the topic)
Make a judgement (eg, if the question is a "to what extent" question say for example, "it is to a critically significant extent that Trotsky's role in organising the Red Army lead to the Bolshevik victory in the Russian Civil War" | if Assess the factors then make a judgement as to which is the MOST SIGNIFICANT (eg. A vitally significant factor in the Bolshevik consolidation of power was the role of the NEP etc etc)
Then go on to outline the points you will make, also making a judgement about the extent that they are useful to. Make sure to use Analysis words such as critically, vitally, pivotal, marginally, moderately, slight etc etc

Argument paragraphs

Step 1 must be an argument (it's not an argument unless you use Because or As) so for example "It is to a critically significant extent that Trotsky's role in organising the red army lead to Russia's victory in the Russian Civil War BECAUSE he kept them United towards a common goal and effectively organised troops making the Red Army into a credible fighting force"
Step 2: justify your argument with examples, and explain the effect of each example to avoid Narration
Step 3: Link the argument back to the question ( re answer the question using that argument)

Conclusion:

Re answer the question and state why using the points that you used in your argument.

I'm not sure if every school uses this structure but I know my brother's doesn't and that's why he has a lot of trouble writing essays for history, but I've always used this structure and find it helps a lot

PS. Sorry for all the Russia examples, I just did my half yearly so Russia is on the brain

Hi, this is great. thanks. Just one quick question, when you say justify arguments with examples is that quotes, or can we just explain examples that in your case link to Trotsky's role in the Red Arm, with providing historical evidence or oral/ written sources etc.

 

[dinomyte]

2. Yes, one point per argument. The reason why your teacher said it obscured the argument is probably because your paragraph had too much waffling and unnecessary content, which made your paragraph unnecessarily longer.
3. Historiography is not necessary, but it's recommended. Use historiography and make sure it supports your argument, so don't put it in just because you know some kind of quote that's somewhat related.

Examples should primarily be historical evidence.

 

[sweetalmond]

Just had midcourse exam, really worried. For the WW1 assess the usefulness for these sources on stalemate on western front, and the question was discuss the perspective, but it didn't actually say "and reliability", so I didn't discuss reliability, only perspective and everyone is saying their interchangeable and that they discussed reliability and perspective, but the question wasn't being specific as it just said discuss the perspective of the sources in your answer, not perspective AND reliability.
I would usually discuss reliability but the source didn't say so, and I'm really worried, because that was a 10 marker!!!

 

[sweetalmond]

Also, does anyone know where to find resources on national study South Africa or Nelson Mandela apart from HSC Online, because the HTA study guides don't cover those topics which I think is unfair and biased, and I'm struggling to find in-depth knowledge that follows the syllabus and doesn't stray away from it.
My teacher doesn't give much notes and when she does she just copies brief notes from HSC online, and she never gives out worksheets with info when the other classes get heaps of notes. As a result, my class isn't doing very well!


Also, I'm really struggling with this essay writing for national/ personality question. if it is alright, it would be so helpful if someone posted their sample essay on here that did well, even a paragraph would be so great!!

My teacher says she can read over essays we write, so I write essays, but she merely skim reads and doesn't actually mark it, and often doesn't even bother reading the whole thing, I also tried emailing her an essay before the midcourse which she promised to mark and she never did and my midcourse for modern has passed so its quite unhelpful. On all these modern history study guides on BoS they say the only way to improve is to get essays marked which is proving to be an issue right now.

 

[nomieee]

Hi, this is great. thanks. Just one quick question, when you say justify arguments with examples is that quotes, or can we just explain examples that in your case link to Trotsky's role in the Red Arm, with providing historical evidence or oral/ written sources etc.

You don't necessarily have to use historians in modern history (quote from my teacher who is the head marker for modern history in NSW) but if you're going to use them then use them to back up your arguments and if you're going to quote an historian it's better to paraphrase than actually use the word for word quote. Just back up your examples with historical evidence (In the context of Russia, here's an example paragraph for the question "To what extent did the leadership of the Bolsheviks lead to their success in the Civil War in Russia from 1918-1921"

Trotsky’s effective co-ordination of the Red Army is, to a critical extent, the reason for the Bolsheviks’ success because if the Bolsheviks were not unified in their goal of defeating the Whites, they would have become disorganised and distrustful. Trotsky proved himself to be a superb leader through his ability to rally and inspire the men that he commanded in order to keep them oriented towards a common goal. Trotsky personally visited the men at the front on the train and inspired them with his brilliant oratory. This was supported by extensive use of the death penalty to scare unwilling peasant conscripts into submission with the knowledge that if they deserted or retreated in battle that they would be gunned down by their own side. This kept the Red Army unified and made them a credible fighting force during the Civil War, unlike the Whites, whose leadership was in shambles with some officers "living in brothels in a haze of cocaine and vodka". It is to a critical extent that the leadership of the Bolsheviks was the reason for their success in the Civil War due to the fact that Trotsky’s ability to effectively keep the Red Army united and co-ordinated left the Bolsheviks with a distinct advantage over the disorganised White Army.

 

[sweetalmond]

How many practice essays/ responses a week should we be doing for history subjects: modern, ancient, extension to improve, and ensure we can hit a 20-25/ 25 mark.

 

[Smooth Operator]

How many practice essays/ responses a week should we be doing for history subjects: modern, ancient, extension to improve, and ensure we can hit a 20-25/ 25 mark.

Quality over quantity. You want to make sure it's being properly marked by your teachers and they are providing feedback and recommendations. With this you really need to take what they're saying on board.
I'd say from here on in 1 a week for each is sufficient (I know I didn't do that) but closer to the HSC and trials I was getting them out. It's all relative to your competencies and what you think you need to do; unfortunately there is no set formula in my opinion.

So:

- Do what you think you need to do;
- Make sure they're marked and feedback is given;
- Take the feedback on-board;
- Know your content and get your essay finesse down;
And most importantly enjoy learning history. Writing about something you enjoy and are engaged in allows the essay to flow a lot easier.

I know I can't provide you with a black and white answer but I hope this helped. All the best!

 

[atcha]

Also, does anyone know where to find resources on national study South Africa or Nelson Mandela apart from HSC Online, because the HTA study guides don't cover those topics which I think is unfair and biased, and I'm struggling to find in-depth knowledge that follows the syllabus and doesn't stray away from it.
My teacher doesn't give much notes and when she does she just copies brief notes from HSC online, and she never gives out worksheets with info when the other classes get heaps of notes. As a result, my class isn't doing very well!


Also, I'm really struggling with this essay writing for national/ personality question. if it is alright, it would be so helpful if someone posted their sample essay on here that did well, even a paragraph would be so great!!

My teacher says she can read over essays we write, so I write essays, but she merely skim reads and doesn't actually mark it, and often doesn't even bother reading the whole thing, I also tried emailing her an essay before the midcourse which she promised to mark and she never did and my midcourse for modern has passed so its quite unhelpful. On all these modern history study guides on BoS they say the only way to improve is to get essays marked which is proving to be an issue right now.

Why don't you just photocopy the sheets that are given out to the other class?. Additionally because you are doing one of the more obscure National Studies it would be advisable to maybe go to the State Library and look through historian's texts rather than textbooks, as frankly I doubt that you will be able to find any in depth content in a textbook because most of all the generic modern textbooks have little/no information on South Africa. I feel your pain and I hope your situation improves

 

[sweetalmond]

Why don't you just photocopy the sheets that are given out to the other class?. Additionally because you are doing one of the more obscure National Studies it would be advisable to maybe go to the State Library and look through historian's texts rather than textbooks, as frankly I doubt that you will be able to find any in depth content in a textbook because most of all the generic modern textbooks have little/no information on South Africa. I feel your pain and I hope your situation improves

thanks. yeah, I think I'll look into state library or some uni libraries as they tend to have more academic texts often with historians. thanks

 

[FlyingKanga]

The OP hasn't been on for a few weeks so I was wondering if there's anyone else here who I could message for some essay feedback?

 

[Smooth Operator]

The OP hasn't been on for a few weeks so I was wondering if there's anyone else here who I could message for some essay feedback?

Sorry! I am around occasionally. Uni life got me out of the HSC realm..

 

[nina2015]

Hello I really need help for my modern history essay " Evaluate the significance of Leni Riefenstahl to her period of national/international history"
Any suggestions on how to structure it as in what to talk about in each paragraph?