Show not tell/creative writing thread (2 Viewers)

[eyeseeyou]

So I decided to make this thread because I am bad at english (especially creative writing)

This thread can be used to post whatever you struggle with in creative writing

I'll start

How do I 'show not tell' for "Mr X was a 17 year old guy"?

 

[ThreeSciences]

Someone who is cramming for the HSC and gets 99 ATAR.












We can dream, right?

 

[eyeseeyou]

Someone who is cramming for the HSC and gets 99 ATAR.












We can dream, right?

This doesn't make sense at all

Like my title says how do I "show not tell" for "Mr X was 17 years old"?

 

[Shadowdude]

the ink on the original copy of mr x's birth certificate had been placed on the paper over 17 years ago (but less than 18)

 

[eyeseeyou]

the ink on the original copy of mr x's birth certificate had been placed on the paper over 17 years ago (but less than 18)

This seems like tell to me

 

[plane]

Mr X was a 21-4 year old guy.

English sucks.

 

[eyeseeyou]

Mr X was a 21-4 year old guy.

English sucks.

wtf...

 

[plane]

wtf...

lol

 

[Shadowdude]

This seems like tell to me

on the sliding scale, it's more 'show' than 'mr x was 17 years old'

 

[sourmilk]

If you could give a basic outline of your creative that'll be a little helpful, but other than that,
Here's my two cents:
Your main character's age will reveal itself through it's actions and speech ex. Being more immature, stubborn, ambitious and a little optimistic. I don't think you need to really use anything to specify age, I reckon the way you structure your dialogue will be enough to reveal the character's age.

 

[Sien]

Mr X is the average 17 year old teenager; average grades, average looks, average outlook in life. He is so average he reeks of mediocrity.

Idk man esl bs right here lel

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[eyeseeyou]

If you could give a basic outline of your creative that'll be a little helpful, but other than that,
Here's my two cents:
Your main character's age will reveal itself through it's actions and speech ex. Being more immature, stubborn, ambitious and a little optimistic. I don't think you need to really use anything to specify age, I reckon the way you structure your dialogue will be enough to reveal the character's age.

Um...

 

[eyeseeyou]

Mr X is the average 17 year old teenager; average grades, average looks, average outlook in life. He is so average he reeks of mediocrity.

Idk man esl bs right here lel

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Average seems very repetitve there, I don't want to be overrepetitive. At my school, they mark you down if you are overrepeitive (I think)

 

[Sien]

Average seems very repetitve there, I don't want to be overrepetitive. At my school, they mark you down if you are overrepeitive (I think)

The repetitive usage of average emphasizes his mediocrity
You'll find that in some books, authors sometimes use this
If your school marks like that then rip gl

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[eyeseeyou]

The repetitive usage of average emphasizes his mediocrity
You'll find that in some books, authors sometimes use this
If your school marks like that then rip gl

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Gr8 point there but like I said idk but I think that's how they mark. No one here could formuate a band six response to my simple question lol

 

[Sien]

Gr8 point there but like I said idk but I think that's how they mark. No one here could formuate a band six response to my simple question lol

Nobody is gonna give away a b6 response for free
Like what are you suppose to write with "Mr X is a 17 yo"
that's such a shit stimulus lol

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[eyeseeyou]

Nobody is gonna give away a b6 response for free
Like what are you suppose to write with "Mr X is a 17 yo"
that's such a shit stimulus lol

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I chose that stimulus b/c I thought that was a particularly hard one to describe

And I asked for a b6 response so I can see how to show not tell (in the proper manner)

 

[Absolutezero]

More to the point, why does it matter to us that the character is exactly seventeen years old? Unless it actually affects the story, there's no point in telling us. If you want a show, don't tell, for this type of detail, then it has to be organic to the scene. e.g.

The group all crowded into the bar. Except John. The bouncer stopped John. Can't fool a professional with a cheapie ID.

AND

He flicked through his Extension Math book – a few questions circled to give him the slight edge over his classmates.

Both scenes give you details about the scene, and roughly reveal the characters age.

 

[eyeseeyou]

More to the point, why does it matter to us that the character is exactly seventeen years old? Unless it actually affects the story, there's no point in telling us. If you want a show, don't tell, for this type of detail, then it has to be organic to the scene. e.g.

The group all crowded into the bar. Except John. The bouncer stopped John. Can't fool a professional with a cheapie ID.

AND

He flicked through his Extension Math book – a few questions circled to give him the slight edge over his classmates.

Both scenes give you details about the scene, and roughly reveal the characters age.

Thanks but if it did matter that Mr X was 17 years old then how would you show not tell for it? Through their behavoiur of what, would you have to call him like a "youngster"? (even though that's tell)

 

[Sien]

Thanks but if it did matter that Mr X was 17 years old then how would you show not tell for it? Through their behavoiur of what, would you have to call him like a "youngster"? (even though that's tell)

Do you even know what the teacher means by show not tell


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