Anyone, please (1 Viewer)

[Bina8]

So I'm new here c: Hi
I don't know where to post this, or if I'm posting this in the wrong section, I'm just desperate at this point.
I'm in year 12 and I don't really know where I'm headed for the future or what I'm passionate about. I do know it'd kill me to get a bad hsc and let my family down.

I'm pretty average in school. (Marks usually range from 50-80)

I find it difficult to focus on studying. It's not just that I'm lazy, sometimes I open my book and get out my laptop, I genuinely can't find a purpose in studying, no matter how hard I try to build motivation.

I sit alone at school (Always have, due to bullying and people misunderstanding me, among other reasons) so there's not really the option of having someone to study with. I feel so alone everyday.
I suffer from both depression and anxiety. (No, getting help is not an option)
I suffer from extreme suicidal thoughts and I've come close many times.

I feel no hope.
And I don't know how to stop.

 

[notthedevil]

Please please please tell someone you trust about this immediately. Suicidal thoughts can be extremely dangerous and people on boredofstudies aren't qualified enough to give you professional help. Tell a year advisor, school counselor, anyone, someone needs to know about this.

I know you have said that getting help for depression and anxiety is not an option, but it is still possible to tell someone in your life about this even if it's not a professional psychologist. People especially in school administration that fill some sort of well being/social work role will understand the severity of this and will be able to make proper arrangements to help you get through this.

In terms of not knowing your passions, dont worry. They will come over time and you can always reflect on what's important to you and what things you even have a slight enjoyment for.

Also with the family pressure thing, it is extremely distressing for family to be pressuring you in something like the HSC which is already stressful. Try your best to disregard their comments and think about what your goals are and why you want to get the marks you want. Your family's goals should not be factored into this. If they want good marks to come, then they should be doing the HSC themselves. And if you dont fulfil their expectations, it doesnt matter because they will still love you in the end.

My sister passed away from suicide in 2016 so that's why i'm taking this post so seriously. I know how devastating it can be and how heartbreaking it is to know that someone felt so bad that they didnt want to live anymore. Please remove yourself from anything that can harm you now.
Even if it doesn't feel like it, people value you in one way or another, whether it be family ties or being someones acquaintance, these connections all matter and the people you have connected with want to see you doing well mentally. this is why telling someone trusted about this is so important.

I hope this helped in some way and I really want you to feel okay someday, but it's really imperative that you reach out to someone.

Lifeline: 13 11 14
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800

 

[ichila101]

Before I give my 2 cents, I completely agree with the post above in regard to seeking help cause this is of upmost importance as well as the fact that no one here is really qualified to give any professional advice but here goes anyways.

So I'm new here c: Hi
I don't know where to post this, or if I'm posting this in the wrong section, I'm just desperate at this point.
I'm in year 12 and I don't really know where I'm headed for the future or what I'm passionate about. I do know it'd kill me to get a bad hsc and let my family down.

Okay so in terms of your future you would want to consider a few things. These include:

• what you enjoy
• what you're good at
• the money it makes
• what kind of impact it can have on society

What you enjoy
Unless a person has some kind of practice of the job they want to pursue, no one really knows whether they will enjoy it or not, so in order to get a clue of this its best to first narrow down your jobs by the other three factors and then consider whether it is of interest by doing activities that may be required to be undertaken within that job and see whether you enjoy it.

What you're good at
This can be almost anything1, it could be subjects your slightly better at or hobbies you enjoy or anything of that sort, and no even saying that you aren't good at anything is wrong (in case you say that) because even if you cant find anything yourself you can still find out by asking others you are close to as they would be able to notice these things probably a little better than you so I would highly recommend you ask your family members or anyone really who knows you really well and make a list of all the things you are good at. Also it is important to follow a career that you are good at otherwise you will be swallowed by the competition.
1Becoming the worlds fastest or even top 10 male/female Olympians requires the genetics alongside hardwork which is not possible for anyone.

The money it makes
It may sound weird but this is actually pretty important when making a decision of your future job, if it doesn't make a decent amount of money then it will probably start to feel like slave labor since you will be doing this job for the rest of your life (most likely) so you don't want it to be a shit job basically.

What kind of impact it can have on society
This is something a lot of people leave out when they are deciding on their future but it is just as important as the other three factors, You can have a job that you are passionate about that you excel in and gets you good money but if you don't have a why to your job, a why as in why is this job so important? How does this job help society? then the job easily becomes unfulfilling, so it is important to have a job with a purpose so you will have constant motivation to engage in it.

I'm pretty average in school. (Marks usually range from 50-80)

What is your school ranking? (If you don't know how to check this you can find out by searching your school >here<)
Also what subjects do you do? (This ones just out of pure curiosity you do not need to answer it if you don't want to)
The reason I ask this is because if you are doing average in a highly ranked school then you have a lower chance of getting a 'bad' atar in comparison to going to a lower ranked school. (Note: That the term bad is pretty subjective so if its alright I would want to know what you consider to be a bad atar)

I find it difficult to focus on studying. It's not just that I'm lazy, sometimes I open my book and get out my laptop, I genuinely can't find a purpose in studying, no matter how hard I try to build motivation.

Theres a lot that needs to be said here but it will take a while so I will come back to this.

I sit alone at school (Always have, due to bullying and people misunderstanding me, among other reasons) so there's not really the option of having someone to study with. I feel so alone everyday.
I suffer from both depression and anxiety. (No, getting help is not an option)
I suffer from extreme suicidal thoughts and I've come close many times.

I feel no hope.
And I don't know how to stop.

There should be less than 8 months (which will fly past) left till HSC ends so, hang in there, I know you can do it. After it ends you will have the chance to start fresh and make friends. Oh and you stop feeling that way first by doing what the above poster said and also by making yourself busy, at least that's how I know my friend does it (would not recommend).


If anything I said was unclear tell me and I'll explain.

 

[mantequilla]

You're not even 1/4 through your life, so not much point killing yourself because everything will change a lot, and you'll miss out if you kill yourself. Year twelve sucks, especially without friends, but it's only one more year, so just push through, and try to make some changes to everything during after high school.
Also, a good thing to do when you're alone at school, is just study, so you don't have to study at home. And getting bad marks isn't letting your family down; that kind of mentality is very bad, you want to be doing whatever you're doing for yourself, not your family.

 

[Bina8]

Please please please tell someone you trust about this immediately. Suicidal thoughts can be extremely dangerous and people on boredofstudies aren't qualified enough to give you professional help. Tell a year advisor, school counselor, anyone, someone needs to know about this.

I know you have said that getting help for depression and anxiety is not an option, but it is still possible to tell someone in your life about this even if it's not a professional psychologist. People especially in school administration that fill some sort of well being/social work role will understand the severity of this and will be able to make proper arrangements to help you get through this.

In terms of not knowing your passions, dont worry. They will come over time and you can always reflect on what's important to you and what things you even have a slight enjoyment for.

Also with the family pressure thing, it is extremely distressing for family to be pressuring you in something like the HSC which is already stressful. Try your best to disregard their comments and think about what your goals are and why you want to get the marks you want. Your family's goals should not be factored into this. If they want good marks to come, then they should be doing the HSC themselves. And if you dont fulfil their expectations, it doesnt matter because they will still love you in the end.

My sister passed away from suicide in 2016 so that's why i'm taking this post so seriously. I know how devastating it can be and how heartbreaking it is to know that someone felt so bad that they didnt want to live anymore. Please remove yourself from anything that can harm you now.
Even if it doesn't feel like it, people value you in one way or another, whether it be family ties or being someones acquaintance, these connections all matter and the people you have connected with want to see you doing well mentally. this is why telling someone trusted about this is so important.

I hope this helped in some way and I really want you to feel okay someday, but it's really imperative that you reach out to someone.

Lifeline: 13 11 14
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800

Ah thank you so much for answering c:
This really helps, and I'm really sorry about your loss
I'll just give it my all

 

[Bina8]

Before I give my 2 cents, I completely agree with the post above in regard to seeking help cause this is of upmost importance as well as the fact that no one here is really qualified to give any professional advice but here goes anyways.


Okay so in terms of your future you would want to consider a few things. These include:

• what you enjoy
• what you're good at
• the money it makes
• what kind of impact it can have on society

What you enjoy
Unless a person has some kind of practice of the job they want to pursue, no one really knows whether they will enjoy it or not, so in order to get a clue of this its best to first narrow down your jobs by the other three factors and then consider whether it is of interest by doing activities that may be required to be undertaken within that job and see whether you enjoy it.

What you're good at
This can be almost anything1, it could be subjects your slightly better at or hobbies you enjoy or anything of that sort, and no even saying that you aren't good at anything is wrong (in case you say that) because even if you cant find anything yourself you can still find out by asking others you are close to as they would be able to notice these things probably a little better than you so I would highly recommend you ask your family members or anyone really who knows you really well and make a list of all the things you are good at. Also it is important to follow a career that you are good at otherwise you will be swallowed by the competition.
1Becoming the worlds fastest or even top 10 male/female Olympians requires the genetics alongside hardwork which is not possible for anyone.

The money it makes
It may sound weird but this is actually pretty important when making a decision of your future job, if it doesn't make a decent amount of money then it will probably start to feel like slave labor since you will be doing this job for the rest of your life (most likely) so you don't want it to be a shit job basically.

What kind of impact it can have on society
This is something a lot of people leave out when they are deciding on their future but it is just as important as the other three factors, You can have a job that you are passionate about that you excel in and gets you good money but if you don't have a why to your job, a why as in why is this job so important? How does this job help society? then the job easily becomes unfulfilling, so it is important to have a job with a purpose so you will have constant motivation to engage in it.




What is your school ranking? (If you don't know how to check this you can find out by searching your school >here<)
Also what subjects do you do? (This ones just out of pure curiosity you do not need to answer it if you don't want to)
The reason I ask this is because if you are doing average in a highly ranked school then you have a lower chance of getting a 'bad' atar in comparison to going to a lower ranked school. (Note: That the term bad is pretty subjective so if its alright I would want to know what you consider to be a bad atar)



Theres a lot that needs to be said here but it will take a while so I will come back to this.

There should be less than 8 months (which will fly past) left till HSC ends so, hang in there, I know you can do it. After it ends you will have the chance to start fresh and make friends. Oh and you stop feeling that way first by doing what the above poster said and also by making yourself busy, at least that's how I know my friend does it (would not recommend).


If anything I said was unclear tell me and I'll explain.

Thanks so much for this

 

[Bina8]

You're not even 1/4 through your life, so not much point killing yourself because everything will change a lot, and you'll miss out if you kill yourself. Year twelve sucks, especially without friends, but it's only one more year, so just push through, and try to make some changes to everything during after high school.
Also, a good thing to do when you're alone at school, is just study, so you don't have to study at home. And getting bad marks isn't letting your family down; that kind of mentality is very bad, you want to be doing whatever you're doing for yourself, not your family.

Thank you, you are right
I will try my best to hold on

 

[jamo90]

Hey, hope you are doing better (trials are around the corner and it's pretty stressful) i was in the same boat as you but if your school has a councillor you can ask to talk to them without them notifying your parent/s.

I dont know if this would help, but it really helped me.

Another alternative is to join a Discord (phone or computer app which is essentially a mixture of redit and facebook but actually good) server called AAC (anti-anxiety Chillzone) and they can offer a means to vent and a community to just talk to

Join server link
https://discord.gg/wD2Cmz8