Overwhelmed, lonely and unmotivated (1 Viewer)

[abstractaviator]

Yo,

Everything’s pretty shit at the moment. I’m 99% sure i’m not the only one experiencing most of these things either.

I haven’t hung out with my friends properly in 5 months because of lockdown, and everyone’s been caught up with studying for the exams. I miss them so god damn much man. I haven’t had a bro talk in 5 fucking months (guys will know the pain). It’s a hunger inside me that doesn’t feel like I can quench. Because of this, i’ve been feeling lonely and bored as shit for ages now. It’s made me really unmotivated to even try with these exams, and I still have physics on friday, which thankfully is my last. But, it’s been dragging on for so long now, and I just want it to be over. I just want to move on from high school and focus on myself.

It might sound stupid, but another thing that I really wish I didn’t have to think about right now is our upcoming formal. I’m excited to hang with my friends and enjoy the night, but needing to plan that (buying a suit, getting a hotel, commuting there, etc.), whilst needing to think about the HSC exams, whilst being bored and lonely is a really uncomfortable mixture. It’s rare for me to say this, but it feels like i’m getting overwhelmed.

What else is adding fuel to the fire? I have feelings for a girl who i’ve been friends with since year 7. We started talking (texting cause everyone’s a bit antisocial since lockdown) and getting way closer. She gave heaps of (REALLY strong) signals she’s interested, but now she’s distanced. I have feelings and I want to tell her, but she’s already with another guy. It’s stressful trying to think about how to handle the situation. That’s the basic jist of it (i’d love advice for this btw. if you need more clarification, ask me anything i swear). I just wanna get to the truth of how she feels instead of constantly wondering.

I know a fair bit about how to look after myself mentally, and doing something I enjoy is something I definitely know will make me feel substantially better (I love playing gran turismo with my steering wheel). I start contemplating playing it because I just want to do something fun rather than binge youtube, but when I do, I start feeling guilty about not studying for the exams. It feels so depressing right now, and I can’t let myself do something I enjoy because I feel guilty about studying. I know i’m bitching a bit right now because I don’t want to do something I have to, but my mind is so foggy and burnt out I can’t get myself to even touch my books.

I don’t consider myself to be clinically depressed, but it’s impossible for me to be able to determine this. I think the reason why i’m feeling so downbeat is because it’s been so lonely, boring, and unmotivating to try with these annoying exams. I haven’t hung out with my friends for 5 months. I want to tell a girl I like her but there’s all the circumstances I mentioned. I have to think about 5 things at once. I’m coping but it feels like shit. I’ll never give up, but it’s better to talk about these things rather than let the anger build up over time

To anyone else going through a similar situation, or feeling lonely/stressed in general, please know you’re not the only one. We’re that close to finishing this (over)stressed part of our youths.

p.s. my profile pic isn’t actually me, in case you’re wondering why the girl flirted lmfao

 

[uniqueusername1]

1. to start off your not alone bro lol lockdowns have really distanced everyone man haha

2. I heard you want to say something to someone. Why not say it? You literally have nothing to lose. Its better to get rejected than not have a chance to date her etc...

3. If you feel like your friends have drifted apart. Why not invest in yourself? Hit the gym, study hard work on your fashion. I'm sure once you start working on yourself everyone/everything will come to you.

Good luck

 

[dannyo1]

if u looked like ur profile picture then its understandable that she flirted with u.. i mean.. look at that hottie

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

 

[dannyo1]

p.s. my profile pic isn’t actually me, in case you’re wondering why the girl flirted lmfao

bro but don't u wish it was you? I would commit murder to look that good

 

[abstractaviator]

bro but don't u wish it was you? I would commit murder to look that good

this is the reason im sad… i’m not a sexy neckbeard

 

[abstractaviator]

1. to start off your not alone bro lol lockdowns have really distanced everyone man haha

2. I heard you want to say something to someone. Why not say it? You literally have nothing to lose. Its better to get rejected than not have a chance to date her etc...

3. If you feel like your friends have drifted apart. Why not invest in yourself? Hit the gym, study hard work on your fashion. I'm sure once you start working on yourself everyone/everything will come to you.

Good luck

Yeah, it’s logical that i’m not the only one, but it starts to feel like you’re fighting a war by yourself tbh. It’s still nice to hear that i’m not the only one though.

Yeah i wanna tell her so bad but I feel limited by the fact that she’s already dating the other guy. I’m not interested in straight up trying to get with her behind the other guys back, I just want to know how she feels and be on the same page. I didn’t feel like I could talk to her the way I really wanted to out of respect for the other dude, but in hindsight I should’ve just YOLO’d it.

Point 3, yea that’s actually a good idea. I started doing more exercise a few weeks ago and it’s been making me feel great. I’m gonna study coding and stuff which is exciting.

thanks for the reply btw

 

[abstractaviator]

yea just work on getting that sexy neckbeard and you'll be getting all the pussy meow meow at formal

fr? even if I rock up in my piece of shit holden cruze?

 

[dannyo1]

Yo,

Everything’s pretty shit at the moment. I’m 99% sure i’m not the only one experiencing most of these things either.

I haven’t hung out with my friends properly in 5 months because of lockdown, and everyone’s been caught up with studying for the exams. I miss them so god damn much man. I haven’t had a bro talk in 5 fucking months (guys will know the pain). It’s a hunger inside me that doesn’t feel like I can quench. Because of this, i’ve been feeling lonely and bored as shit for ages now. It’s made me really unmotivated to even try with these exams, and I still have physics on friday, which thankfully is my last. But, it’s been dragging on for so long now, and I just want it to be over. I just want to move on from high school and focus on myself.

It might sound stupid, but another thing that I really wish I didn’t have to think about right now is our upcoming formal. I’m excited to hang with my friends and enjoy the night, but needing to plan that (buying a suit, getting a hotel, commuting there, etc.), whilst needing to think about the HSC exams, whilst being bored and lonely is a really uncomfortable mixture. It’s rare for me to say this, but it feels like i’m getting overwhelmed.

What else is adding fuel to the fire? I have feelings for a girl who i’ve been friends with since year 7. We started talking (texting cause everyone’s a bit antisocial since lockdown) and getting way closer. She gave heaps of (REALLY strong) signals she’s interested, but now she’s distanced. I have feelings and I want to tell her, but she’s already with another guy. It’s stressful trying to think about how to handle the situation. That’s the basic jist of it (i’d love advice for this btw. if you need more clarification, ask me anything i swear). I just wanna get to the truth of how she feels instead of constantly wondering.

I know a fair bit about how to look after myself mentally, and doing something I enjoy is something I definitely know will make me feel substantially better (I love playing gran turismo with my steering wheel). I start contemplating playing it because I just want to do something fun rather than binge youtube, but when I do, I start feeling guilty about not studying for the exams. It feels so depressing right now, and I can’t let myself do something I enjoy because I feel guilty about studying. I know i’m bitching a bit right now because I don’t want to do something I have to, but my mind is so foggy and burnt out I can’t get myself to even touch my books.

I don’t consider myself to be clinically depressed, but it’s impossible for me to be able to determine this. I think the reason why i’m feeling so downbeat is because it’s been so lonely, boring, and unmotivating to try with these annoying exams. I haven’t hung out with my friends for 5 months. I want to tell a girl I like her but there’s all the circumstances I mentioned. I have to think about 5 things at once. I’m coping but it feels like shit. I’ll never give up, but it’s better to talk about these things rather than let the anger build up over time

To anyone else going through a similar situation, or feeling lonely/stressed in general, please know you’re not the only one. We’re that close to finishing this (over)stressed part of our youths.

p.s. my profile pic isn’t actually me, in case you’re wondering why the girl flirted lmfao

Jokes aside tho, I do know how you feel. Basically went/still going through something v similar (in terms of loneliness, depression - obviously not the crush thing lol) after a pretty bad breakup earlier this year which happened just before the lockdowns kicked in. Tbh my main thing was talking to friends via discord and imessage a bunch and kinda just acknowledging the fact that everyone is going through the same thing. That sort of implicit comradery in our current circumstances helped a bit.

I'm ngl, depression whether you're actually diagnosed or just in a rut (situational, like in response to lockdown, fight with friends etc) is a bitch and the only things which really work are a) time b) working on yourself or c) a change in circumstances. Focusing on school really helped me - nothing like a King Henry essay to take your mind off how shit things are.

But my point is this - at the moment your negative emotions are coming from external stuff getting you down. When face with circumstances like these - you can either sit there and stew in your depression or actively try to fight it. I'm not in any way saying that you're weak or that doing something about how you're feeling is easy, but just starting with doing a tiny bit of work quickly snowballs into motivation to do more, which makes you feel better about yourself because by actively working towards your future you give yourself something to look forward to that goes beyond your current circumstances and takes away the guilt that comes from sitting around at home jacking off and playing video games all day.

In regards to your women troubles, I would suggest making sure that the other causes of whatever you're feeling are rectified before talking to her. Give yourself a solid emotional foundation before dealing with something which could be quite emotionally damaging if it goes the wrong way, but don't wait too long. As others have said, you've got nothing to lose from this aside from her saying no and trust me you'll regret it later on if you don't take the chance. You miss every shot you don't take my friend.

Anyway ramble over, hope I've helped at least somewhat.

TL;DR actively try to do shit that works towards your future instead of wallowing in sorrow. It's a bitch. It's hard. but you will feel better for yourself and give you something to look forward to that goes beyond your current timeframe.

 

[abstractaviator]

she probs is dating another guy as a rebound for you

lmao

 

[abstractaviator]

My advice would be:
don’t put her in an awkward situation by asking her out while she’s in something. That will just build a foundation that probably isn’t healthy/desirable.
Treat the formal as a way to have fun with your friends which is what you have missed.
Oh and smash physics on Friday like it’s that girl. Bye.

95% here I come

But yeah that makes sense. I’m not really interested in asking her out because she’s in something, I honestly just want some closure and to be on the same page. Like dannyo1 said, I haven’t got much to lose and i’ll regret never taking any steps.

 

[abstractaviator]

Jokes aside tho, I do know how you feel. Basically went/still going through something v similar (in terms of loneliness, depression - obviously not the crush thing lol) after a pretty bad breakup earlier this year which happened just before the lockdowns kicked in. Tbh my main thing was talking to friends via discord and imessage a bunch and kinda just acknowledging the fact that everyone is going through the same thing. That sort of implicit comradery in our current circumstances helped a bit.

I'm ngl, depression whether you're actually diagnosed or just in a rut (situational, like in response to lockdown, fight with friends etc) is a bitch and the only things which really work are a) time b) working on yourself or c) a change in circumstances. Focusing on school really helped me - nothing like a King Henry essay to take your mind off how shit things are.

But my point is this - at the moment your negative emotions are coming from external stuff getting you down. When face with circumstances like these - you can either sit there and stew in your depression or actively try to fight it. I'm not in any way saying that you're weak or that doing something about how you're feeling is easy, but just starting with doing a tiny bit of work quickly snowballs into motivation to do more, which makes you feel better about yourself because by actively working towards your future you give yourself something to look forward to that goes beyond your current circumstances and takes away the guilt that comes from sitting around at home jacking off and playing video games all day.

In regards to your women troubles, I would suggest making sure that the other causes of whatever you're feeling are rectified before talking to her. Give yourself a solid emotional foundation before dealing with something which could be quite emotionally damaging if it goes the wrong way, but don't wait too long. As others have said, you've got nothing to lose from this aside from her saying no and trust me you'll regret it later on if you don't take the chance. You miss every shot you don't take my friend.

Anyway ramble over, hope I've helped at least somewhat.

TL;DR actively try to do shit that works towards your future instead of wallowing in sorrow. It's a bitch. It's hard. but you will feel better for yourself and give you something to look forward to that goes beyond your current timeframe.

Thanks, I appreciate this. I relate to you heaps bro. A lot of your advice makes a lot of sense, especially the idea of having a strong emotional foundation before I talk to this girl. How should I go about it? I honestly just wanna talk to her about our feelings and nothing else because she’s already with someone.

 

[mikrokosmos]

Yo,

Everything’s pretty shit at the moment. I’m 99% sure i’m not the only one experiencing most of these things either.

I haven’t hung out with my friends properly in 5 months because of lockdown, and everyone’s been caught up with studying for the exams. I miss them so god damn much man. I haven’t had a bro talk in 5 fucking months (guys will know the pain). It’s a hunger inside me that doesn’t feel like I can quench. Because of this, i’ve been feeling lonely and bored as shit for ages now. It’s made me really unmotivated to even try with these exams, and I still have physics on friday, which thankfully is my last. But, it’s been dragging on for so long now, and I just want it to be over. I just want to move on from high school and focus on myself.

It might sound stupid, but another thing that I really wish I didn’t have to think about right now is our upcoming formal. I’m excited to hang with my friends and enjoy the night, but needing to plan that (buying a suit, getting a hotel, commuting there, etc.), whilst needing to think about the HSC exams, whilst being bored and lonely is a really uncomfortable mixture. It’s rare for me to say this, but it feels like i’m getting overwhelmed.

What else is adding fuel to the fire? I have feelings for a girl who i’ve been friends with since year 7. We started talking (texting cause everyone’s a bit antisocial since lockdown) and getting way closer. She gave heaps of (REALLY strong) signals she’s interested, but now she’s distanced. I have feelings and I want to tell her, but she’s already with another guy. It’s stressful trying to think about how to handle the situation. That’s the basic jist of it (i’d love advice for this btw. if you need more clarification, ask me anything i swear). I just wanna get to the truth of how she feels instead of constantly wondering.

I know a fair bit about how to look after myself mentally, and doing something I enjoy is something I definitely know will make me feel substantially better (I love playing gran turismo with my steering wheel). I start contemplating playing it because I just want to do something fun rather than binge youtube, but when I do, I start feeling guilty about not studying for the exams. It feels so depressing right now, and I can’t let myself do something I enjoy because I feel guilty about studying. I know i’m bitching a bit right now because I don’t want to do something I have to, but my mind is so foggy and burnt out I can’t get myself to even touch my books.

I don’t consider myself to be clinically depressed, but it’s impossible for me to be able to determine this. I think the reason why i’m feeling so downbeat is because it’s been so lonely, boring, and unmotivating to try with these annoying exams. I haven’t hung out with my friends for 5 months. I want to tell a girl I like her but there’s all the circumstances I mentioned. I have to think about 5 things at once. I’m coping but it feels like shit. I’ll never give up, but it’s better to talk about these things rather than let the anger build up over time

To anyone else going through a similar situation, or feeling lonely/stressed in general, please know you’re not the only one. We’re that close to finishing this (over)stressed part of our youths.

p.s. my profile pic isn’t actually me, in case you’re wondering why the girl flirted lmfao

Hi! I totally get that lonely feeling. And yes, unfortunately because of COVID, we are alone - but not completely. Yes, at this point in time. But a week from now, you won't! I've gone through a lot during this lockdown period and I feel what you're feeling. But I want you to know that it will come to an end. Let that motivate you. And with planning everything while studying for exams, just allocate an hour before bed or something or when you wake up to organise that, or split the work up for formal with friends when it comes to the hotel and stuff.

tbh I haven't had many romantic experiences so I wouldnt know how to respond in your situation haha. But yeah, you've got nothing to lose. But once again, I have no experience in romance lmao

Just remember, this lonely period will come to an end. Last week after an exam I went out with my friend and we caught up for like 4 hours and it felt so good! And that was just four hours. After HSC, you have literal MONTHS. Isn't that exciting?

Something that motivates me is to make my 'after HSC' list on paper and stick it up above my desk where I have space (I have space now because I only have one exam left, like you) and looking at that motivates me so much!! Dude you only have like 2-3 days of this hell left! Literally this time next week you would have had so much fun.

And yes!! Invest time into yourself!! This is where selfishness is okay hobbies, fashion, fitness, mental health! Journaling is really good too

Good luck and take care

 

[Suz D]

Bro with that girl, if you said she has distanced herself then maybe tell her that you've noticed. Like ask her fr "I've noticed that you've kinda been distanced, is everything okay?" Being emotionally aware and noticing small things like that is honestly pretty attractive in a guy (for me at least). Showing that shows that you care and also miss her if she's distanced.

Also, like others have said, don't tell her your feelings now, especially since she's in a relationship. It can be a big red flag if someone disregards already existing relationships without thinking about the other party's reaction or feelings. Just be a good friend, notice small things about her, send her nice texts occasionally, keep it light hearted and compliment her at the grad formal if she is going (e.g. "you look really pretty" "I really like how you did your hair"). But try not to come off as too interested and creepy, you know? Gosh I might be terrible at relationship advice/flirting. I've literally never dated anyone or ever had a sincere crush on someone, yet I am giving random people on the internet love advice lol