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2014 English Thread! (2 Viewers)

russ3l

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Hey fellow 2014s!

There has been quite a lot of post requesting for people's essays and wanting to compare their writing skills to everyone else's. So here it is:

this thread can be used for:

- sharing the work that you have done in english (essays, creatives, analysis etc.)
- help in the subject (for things such as analysis, structure, advice) im sure absolutezero would be more than glad to help!
- just general discussion about the topic as a whole

lets get into it!

and demento1, you can post your essay up here if you want :)
 

deswa1

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If you guys just want to see structure and stuff, I could post some of my essays as well (though probs year 11 ones because I don't want everyone downloading my HSC ones lol- I could email year 12 ones though to you guys if you want to see them)
 

russ3l

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If you guys just want to see structure and stuff, I could post some of my essays as well (though probs year 11 ones because I don't want everyone downloading my HSC ones lol- I could email year 12 ones though to you guys if you want to see them)
Feel free to post em up here! :D
 

deloving

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Next term my class is going to read "The Book Thief". Anyone here that has read it before? I have borrowed the book and began reading it already and after about 130 pages I can say it is a very interesting book.

Anyways when I come back from holiday I might post up some of my essays. (Postcards from No Man's Land, Kite Runner, Macbeth and something else if I recall correctly)
 

iEatOysters

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Next term my class is going to read "The Book Thief". Anyone here that has read it before? I have borrowed the book and began reading it already and after about 130 pages I can say it is a very interesting book.

Anyways when I come back from holiday I might post up some of my essays. (Postcards from No Man's Land, Kite Runner, Macbeth and something else if I recall correctly)
The one that is narrated by Death? I LOVE THAT BOOK. :D (if it's not that book, ignore me)

I might post some of my essays as well. Would ones on Persuasion and Macbeth be okay?
 

HSC2014

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Post your essays and get ready to be judged :cool:
 

Fawun

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This is my English yearly essay based on the study of the film "Pleasantville". The essay question was "How are ideas of change conveyed through your close study of text?"

Change is the catalyst for progress in both a society and the individual. A universal idea, change is often inevitable, and leads an individual to make decisions about their actions that have widespread consequences. These ideas of change are explored in Gary Ross' 1998 film ‘Pleasantville’ by employing film techniques to convey his message. Through considering the developing characterization of the two protagonists, it becomes clear that change can either enrich or hinder an individual's progress, highlighting it’s incredible influence in our society.

Pleasantville explores the universal idea of change in that change is inevitable and is shown by introducing two characters, Jennifer and David into a perfect black and white society. The dialogue of “Well maybe it needs to be messed with. Did that ever like--occur to you?” is depicted entirely through a mid-shot to focus on the character interaction between Mary-Sue and Bud. Despite the minimal background, the black and white amplifies the close-mindedness, lack of knowledge and conformity in their society. The quote establishes Jennifer as the initial catalyst of change in the society whilst highlighting Bud’s reluctance towards change in Pleasantville. Ross consequently integrates Bud and Jennifer in a series of events that lead them to believe that change is needed in order for society to develop. This gives an idea that people need to ‘break their barriers’ in order to instigate change.

Gary Ross depicts that individual rights and freedoms are being suppressed; in other words, knowledge is frowned upon as it enables change and allows choice and decision-making. This is shown in the immediate reaction from the mayor, Big Bob. The narration of “THREE: The area commonly known as Lover's Lane as well as the Pleasantville Public Library shall be closed until further notice.” through the close up and panning of the coloureds, exhibits their emotions and feelings towards the reaction of Big Bob, who bans things that introduce change such as books and music. Jennifer/Mary-Sue’s sudden interest in book reading emphasizes her character development along with her ability to empower the citizens by introducing knowledge through books. The quote by Bud keeps the violence of individual rights and freedoms at a focus as Big Bob believes that if he has control of knowledge, he will have control of the people. As a result, the suppression of individual rights and freedoms is an especially relevant take on the idea of change through Pleasantville.

Individuals and groups sometimes need to initiate change or fight against oppressive regimes; alternatively, in order to achieve change, people have to break free from conformity. The relationship between Bill Johnson and Bud conveys the dependence that Bill has on Bud. When Bud opines "Look, you can't always like what you do. Sometimes you just do it because it's your job. And even if you don't like it, you just gotta do it anyway.” is described through the panning and close up between the dialogue of Bill and Bud that gives the audience an insight into Bill's character. Eventually Bill’s character development progresses when he breaks free from conformity and discovers the missing element of his life: his interest for art that leads to both Bill and Bud’s arrest after their painting of a coloured mural. In Addition, the mural is symbolic of their protests where it is identified through their fight against oppressive regimes. Consequently, it hints that society needs to stand up in order to bring about change.

Change is inevitable and that everyone has something that makes them individualistic. This is expressed through the climax where the audience can see the division of the coloureds and the non-coloureds in the courtroom, a reflection of the movie ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. The quote of “But see? That's just the point! It can't stop at once, because it's in you, and you can't stop something that's inside you” is answered to a close-up and point of view shots of Bob that allows the audience to focus on his emotions. Eventually, people come to the realisation that they are all different and the importance to understand change whether it be physical change or inner change. This gives a multi-layered idea of change within the film as shown by Gary Ross.

By exploring the film in sufficient depth, it is clear then that change is an inevitable force in our lives and influences all aspects of society whilst highlighting the issues of conformity and the fight for individual freedom. Through examining the film Pleasantville, these notions of change become clear, broadening a responders understanding of the fundamental influence of change.



I got 15/20 and the average was 10 or 11 lol

Edit: T'was such a pain in the ass to memorise word for word for my yearlies lol

Edit 2: Thank you to Deswa for helping with my intro and conclusion :)
 
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enoilgam

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I remember reading over that one, glad to see you did well in it.
 

enoilgam

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Thanks :) Hopefully it's well enough to get a good ranking out of my cohort lol
I would say there are a few things you need to work on, but on the whole, I think you have a lot of potential with your writing. I cant speak for english really (I'm not good at it), but you should easily be able to get your work up to a band 6 level in history/economics.
 
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deloving

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I'm really curious - what has everyone done so far in English?

(I'll post my marks so you know how much I hate narratives)

- Postcards from No Man's Land (essay) [20/20]
- Kite Runner (Borders --- essay + narrative) [10/10, 12/15]
- Animal Farm (Satire --- narrative) [10/15]
- Macbeth (Shakespeare --- essay + narrative) [19/20, 12/20, not assessment based]
- Ted Hughes (Poetry --- speech) [16/20]

>devastated for getting 19/20 for my Macbeth essay
>devastated because narratives are screwing up my ranking

lol
 

HSC2014

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What is more important, analysis or sophistication?
 

enoilgam

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What is more important, analysis or sophistication?
Well, sophistication refers to your ideas and analysis, NOT the language that is used (as I said in a thread earlier today, I personally prefer simple language in essays).
 

HSC2014

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Well, sophistication refers to your ideas and analysis, NOT the language that is used (as I said in a thread earlier today, I personally prefer simple language in essays).
But language still has some significance to markers though, right? How would an essay with weak language, strong analysis compare to one with strong language but weak analysis?
 

deswa1

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When you say weak language, do you mean weak language mechanics (like spelling, grammar, syntax) or just 'lower-level' and more simplistic words. If you mean the latter, you can write extremely effective essays with simple words (some of the best ones I've read were very simple put- they were just very elegantly written and engaging and analysed everything in a sophisticated way)
 

enoilgam

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When you say weak language, do you mean weak language mechanics (like spelling, grammar, syntax) or just 'lower-level' and more simplistic words. If you mean the latter, you can write extremely effective essays with simple words (some of the best ones I've read were very simple put- they were just very elegantly written and engaging and analysed everything in a sophisticated way)
This exactly - spelling, grammar, syntax and punctuation must always be strong, but the actual wording doesnt necessarily have to be. Obviously, you want your language to be formal and appropriate for the audience, but using big words is not necessary. Having read through quite a few preople's essays, big words are can be a hindrance - they often add nothing and make the response verbose and overly complex.
 

iEatOysters

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A well-written essay is one that is well-supported by close textual analysis. According to our teacher, the highest mark an essay without analysis can get is around 15-17. (don't quote me on this...)
Unless the person's written expression is so poor, that they are unable to formulate an articulate response, their mark should not be affected. Most people say simple language is better than sophisticated language, simply because it's easier to read and understand. At the end of the day, what matters most is your ability to get your ideas across to the marker.
(I think... Idk)
 

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