Advice about situation (1 Viewer)

[Hannelore]

Hi,

I'm not really sure if there is anything that can be done for this but I thought that I may as well ask for advice anyway.

Long story short, my home situation has gotten pretty stressful; a member of my family who is living with me (and I am not financially able to move out, even if I wanted to, which I don't because I am reluctant to make my other family member cope with it on their own) is an alcoholic. If it were not for the fact that he is in bad physical shape (he is scheduled for a hip replacement, assuming he can be sober long enough to have the operation) I would be less concerned but he has had several falls, resulting in several visits to the hospital because of him hitting his head. However, as it is we have to make extreme efforts to keep him safe from hurting himself while he is drunk.

My uni work has already begun to suffer as a result of having to practically baby-sit him, and of course it is very distressing to watch somebody go through this addiction and treat myself and other people badly.

I guess what I want to ask is, do you think that I ought to mention this to my tutors? :/ I have no doubt that my grades are going to suffer and presentation are going to be that much harder due to stress but it's not like I can get special consideration or anything. But I feel like I don't want my tutors to think that I'm a dreadful student who doesn't care about uni; I do, but I know that this is going to have an impact. Do you think I ought to mention it, if only for tutes with participation marks? Or should I just not bother?

tl;dr is there any point in letting a tutor know about stressful home experiences, or should I just try to suck it up and do my best through uni while going through this?

Thanks.

 

[Queenroot]

You could probably talk to a counselor and see what options they have.

 

[_traveler_]

You could most definitively email your lecturers/head tutors to ask for special considerations. However, there is a bigger problem as your situation at home is not ideal. Then again not everyone's family is perfect, however, if you believe dropping a subject would help you out then you should do so. Counselors would also help but they are limited in terms of what you can do since you don't have the financial capability to move out.

If you're willing to leave if you have the financial means, would it possible to seek employment and leave home (maybe some CL)? This is a long term problem that needs long term solutions.

Edit: Sometimes its also good to have someone to chat with. Feel free to PM to DnM if you want.

 

[Hannelore]

You could probably talk to a counselor and see what options they have.

Thank you, I have considered doing this.

 

[Hannelore]

You could most definitively email your lecturers/head tutors to ask for special considerations. However, there is a bigger problem as your situation at home is not ideal. Then again not everyone's family is perfect, however, if you believe dropping a subject would help you out then you should do so. Counselors would also help but they are limited in terms of what you can do since you don't have the financial capability to move out.

If you're willing to leave if you have the financial means, would it possible to seek employment and leave home (maybe some CL)? This is a long term problem that needs long term solutions.

Edit: Sometimes its also good to have someone to chat with. Feel free to PM to DnM if you want.

I don't feel like dropping a subject would do all that much good to be honest. I think the stress of knowing that I would be behind would just make things that little bit harder to cope with.

Obviously I would love to find a job just for financial security but even if I could find one (no luck yet Maybe soon. I'm not even sure what CL means ^^; ) I am not sure that I would feel right leaving mum to deal with it all alone.

The bright side is his hip operation is in a few days and he will have to stay in hospital for another ten days, so at least uni wise most of my heavy weighing assessment essays can be gotten out of the way, so uni wise things should hopefully improve for a bit. And it is possible that since he will be forced into sobriety for a bit it may clear his head enough to consider seeking help.

Thank you for the helpful thoughts and the PM offer

 

[Aerath]

Definitely talk to CAPS. Counselling & Psychological Services. Services are free for students, are confidential, and if need be, can lead to you getting spec con to make it that much easier to get through university.

See http://sydney.edu.au/current_students/counselling/ for further info.