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dafidav

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how do you confuse an archaeologist ?









give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from
 

dafidav

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ok thats enough for now

happy reading and hopefully your hsc woes will be overtaken by laughter

PS: read the link on page 6, its really good and takes a lot of time to finish, somehting most of us would have right now

ill be back later to post more jokes
 

joujou_84

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Not-That-Bright said:
WE CAN DO IT LASS!!! ONLY 10 1/2 more hours!!!
i.............dont..............*struggles*................think...............ill.........*struggles*...........make...........it...........
 

soha

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hey i just applied 4 my results thru sms but it sed blah blah blah failed wrong student number or pin..but they are right
is there anything im doing wrong..
or that im missing..
i put my student number..[space] pin..??
 

joujou_84

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soha said:
hey i just applied 4 my results thru sms but it sed blah blah blah failed wrong student number or pin..but they are right
is there anything im doing wrong..
or that im missing..
i put my student number..[space] pin..??

yep thats wat i did............
 

dafidav

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hahah this thread cos im not here ;)

eheheheh

ok im back

ready for more jokes??
 

dafidav

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A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "That's fantastic! Where did you get him?"

The parrot replys "Africa. There's fucking thousands of them."
 

dafidav

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Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over
and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off !"

"Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely.

"See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her
home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we
were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in
the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and
hang from the ledge by my fingernails!"

"Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender.

"Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the
customer went on.

"When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're
naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy
son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?"

"Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a
lousy mood."

"Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me.
Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when
they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window.
And where does it land? My damned forehead!"

"Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender.

"Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when
the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet
is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose
right on my head !"

The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw
that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!"
 

dafidav

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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Technical Support," says the balloonist.

"I do," replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but completely useless."

The man below says: "You must be in management."

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're still in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."


=============================================


A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.

"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!" "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls." With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and exclaims, "You idiot, you're sitting on the mop bucket!!"
 

dafidav

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A woman comes home after a visit to the plastic surgeon and says to her husband, "The doctor says I now have the ass and tits of a 16 year old."

"Great," the husband says, "What did he say about your 40-year-old c*nt?"

"Oh," says the woman, "The doctor didn't mention you."
 

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