Are you too shy to approach a girl / guy? Ideas? (1 Viewer)

[Jiga]

Get over it or get on the piss...that solves all problems!

 

[beer goggles]

that really depends what you define as failure. to me, not trying is failing. If i try ive already won because im gaining confidence.

well said man

 

[wrong_turn]

i use to be one of them heaps shy guys, like no kidding. i wouldn't even talk to a girl, because i was too embarassed to. however, since about a year ago, i started talking, acting normal, and now look what has happened?! well nothing really. but i have self-confidence and have a self-esteem not exceeding in egotistic proportions.

 

[Grobus]

Biting the bullet is easier said than done. Confidence is not just a BS mindgame you've gotta play with yourself, it's a reflection of your own understanding of yourself and your abilities/skills/talent/looks/etc.

If you wanna develop confidence it's a big step from not having it to being able to sweep someone off their feet in the first meeting. That was my experience, anyway.

The solution for me was to stop trying to pick up and start to just talk to people.

Read 'Conversationally Speaking' if you're really not confident, or better yet -- get a job in retail! Learn how to start a conversation smoothly (please no pickup lines, except for in exceptional circumstances!), how to keep it going. Get some stories. Don't make them up, but find them, remember them, keep an eye out for them. I suck at telling stories, but even that's something to talk about. Have a PASSION, and be passionate about it - it's very contagious! Try to cut a conversation short before it goes downhill; it starts going bad, you look like an ass, you get 'rejected'.

DON'T approach the girls giggling in a group around a table in thier own little clique (at first); DO talk to the people when you're standing in a line or in some situation when there are people waiting, or to sales assitants.. (not just girls!!! other guys, younger people, OLD people are an awesome source of stories!).

Everyone will have their own opinion of how to do it, and some things work for some people, others work for other. Stop worrying about what to do, and just do it.

Thats incredibly solid advice. Repped.

 

[Grobus]

Tell her who you are from BoS. Works every time (I think - I haven't tried it yet).

I once told a chick I have over 15,000 posts on the IGN boards and nearly 200 WULs. Got her right in the sack.

 

[Vangineer]

hnmmm, sounz alrite,

Go 2005!!!!

Time to get out of shytown and move on
Hopefully its not another empty self promise

Since I was little (sorry about this ranting), i was always shy and quiet.

Hmm, I think this shyness is a personality. Anyways, I'd try changing it this year. "Its not gonna kill me or anything i guess?"

 

[Panda Bear]

no of course not van

ill grew out of being shy in 4 months in 2004

 

[slinky]

i was shy too, but my best friend jim beam helped me out heaps, i got so confident that i almost got myself into a fight with a islander 3 times my size(no exaggereation, cause i kept rubbing his bald head) lucky i had friends that calmed him down(which i felt at the time, they didnt need too).

 

[vTr]

dance.... fixes everything , cept makes u look stupid,

 

[sparkl3z]

i'm not shy.....i just dont really approach people unless im serious - which has only happened once so i can't really advise anyone how to approach anyone because im not familiar with it...

 

[fire away]

Best piece of advice i ever got was --when talking to a girl you are attracted to always FOCUS ON A FLAW! You know how it is so easy to talk to chicks that are fat or ugly because you don't want to screw 'em, well focus on any flaw a pimple, a lisp, a mole, crooked teeth, anything that makes them less attractive. At least to begin with until you feel comfortable talking to them. Works like a charm. Or you could start on the fugly ones and work your way up. Ask out a fugly, make plans and then dump 'em just to boost your self esteem.

ahahahahah

 

[HerO]

Best piece of advice i ever got was --when talking to a girl you are attracted to always FOCUS ON A FLAW! You know how it is so easy to talk to chicks that are fat or ugly because you don't want to screw 'em, well focus on any flaw a pimple, a lisp, a mole, crooked teeth, anything that makes them less attractive. At least to begin with until you feel comfortable talking to them. Works like a charm. Or you could start on the fugly ones and work your way up. Ask out a fugly, make plans and then dump 'em just to boost your self esteem.

Ummm sounds like u treat girls like dirt, its ppl like u who increase teenage girl's suicide rates. So do u juz screm em, make babies and run ay.

 

[Shuter]

Ummm sounds like u treat girls like dirt, its ppl like u who increase teenage girl's suicide rates. So do u juz screm em, make babies and run ay.

But it would mainly be the ugly ones who suicide, really he's doing us all a favour.

 

[LazyBoy]

that really achieves nothing. Focus on making friends, i do and it workss like a charm. Last night i went out i got 5 numbers. Some are friends others are girls i wouldnt mind persuing more than friends. Hell last night even got a couple of pashes from this hot blonde girl. I was able to do it all because i did worry myself about beeing rejected because i didnt try to go up to be sleazy i went up to simply have a conversation.

 

[alien]

i used to be REALLY shy but now i'm the opposite, i talk to people heaps even if i don't know them. if i can relate to them in any way then i just chat.

 

[LazyBoy]

yeah. most ppl are up for a chat. you get the few that are ust completley antisocial and dont wanna talk even. Rejection is nothing to fear.

 

[alien]

i used to fear rejection and would be rejected. i think if you don't fear rejection, it doesn't happen as much. or when it does, you're just like "so what?" cos you don't care.

 

[LazyBoy]

too right. i just realised your a girl alien its way easier for you cause its expected that the guy goes and talks to the girl. not the other way around.

 

[twiddla]

Bite the bullet and ask them - chances are u aren't going to like someone who is going to bite ur head off unless your really shallow in which case it is ur own fault

 

[sladehk]

if you never try you never know