Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (2 Viewers)

[taylor427]

woodwork teacher:
"theres nothing wrong with the fucking bandsaw. . . [walks away and mumbles loudly] . . . fucking put you through the bandsaw, then we'll see whats wrong with the fucking bandsaw"

Gold - solid gold.
cant understand why like 20 kids dropped out between year 10 and 12.

 

[F-O-B]

I once had a sub music teacher...who was an extremely overweight short old lady (somewhat resembling n smelling like a mushroom) but she couldnt talk...she like screamed and spat everywhere...*shudders*...so naturally ppl would annoy her just to see her blow..:burn:

the thing was, she'd lock anyone who pissed her off in the drums room, for however long she felt was necessary...

myyy word that lady was psycho!

 

[x.Exhaust.x]

I cbb mentioning them all but here's one I remember:

In year 8, we had a chinese teacher who had a perfect fobby accent. We were learning about bio in the class and the human body. We had this find a word sheet we were doing in the lesson and one of the girls asked:

Student: 'How do you say this word?'
Teacher: 'Vfakuole'
Student: 'How do you say it again?'
Teacher: 'Fak you all'

*Everyone starts laughing*

The word was actually vacuole. Lolol.

 

[cherise]

Yr 9 science teacher: *asks student a question*
Student: "um....can I phone a friend."
Teacher: "You haven't got any friends."
Student: "Fuck, I was jarred up by a teacher."

 

[russianROULETTE]

ooh, this thread reminds me of yr8 science...

Student: What are year 9 studying, miss?
Teacher: Reproduction, but there's no practical. Nine months is FAR too long for a topic.

a couple of people laughed, but i think most of us were like 'WTF!', cause she's old.

we also had this insane art teacher. i'm still mentally scarred from it. she always had to 'be positive', so when someone stole this clock that was in our room, they didn't steal it, they 'appropriated' it. once she gave us a test with the answers on the back (because she's a hippy and doesn't like wasting paper), then LEFT THE ROOM! wtf? i got full marks on quite a few assignments, then when i didn't choose to do art the next year she told my friend that i didn't have the ability to do it... pfft.

 

[m.incognito]

Chemistry teacher: "HYDGEN ATOM"

French teacher: "Have I given you oral?"

 

[Aplus]

Lmao .

 

[Evan11]

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there"
"Japan"
"Japan who?"
"Ja Pants are falling down"


"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Jupiter"
"Jupiter who"
"Ju Better pull them back up"

"Get back to work, what do you think this is, Physics or something?"

One of two maths teachers (one for ext, one for 2 u):
"So he's just decided to swap classes without consulting me?"
Me: "I guess you are just the bigger man sir"
Teacher: "We'll i don't know about bigger...maybe physically....we won't go there"

 

[360G-PsYcHo-]

my mate : heyy sir how were the holidays?? get alot of sex?
teacher : nahh man your mum wasnt with me...
class : OooooooooOOoo
mate :
me : lmao at him

 

[Aplus]

"Get back to work, what do you think this is, Physics or something?"

Lawl, was it Ext. 2 Maths or something?

 

[Evan11]

Lawl, was it Ext. 2 Maths or something?

Nah man it was actually physics lol

 

[Hysterik]

We had a drill going on and our class wasn't sure of the difference of the bell of evacuation and lockdown (where we get under our desks, lock doors and windows etc.). So, we all decided to go for lockdown. We sat there for about ten minutes until the deputy principal came in:

Congratulations, girls, you all just died in a fire.

 

[rubificticious]

We had a drill going on and our class wasn't sure of the difference of the bell of evacuation and lockdown (where we get under our desks, lock doors and windows etc.). So, we all decided to go for lockdown. We sat there for about ten minutes until the deputy principal came in:

Congratulations, girls, you all just died in a fire.

Ha!
What about your teacher?
Didn't they know what to do?

 

[Aplus]

We had a drill going on and our class wasn't sure of the difference of the bell of evacuation and lockdown (where we get under our desks, lock doors and windows etc.). So, we all decided to go for lockdown. We sat there for about ten minutes until the deputy principal came in:

Congratulations, girls, you all just died in a fire.

The teacher had no idea?

 

[all.time.fiend]

i used to have this relief that would not shut up. so we would ask him questions knowing that he'd talk forever about some inane topic and give the class an excuse to talk. example:

"sir, can you tell us why world war 2 started?"
"yes well its because the genocide that.....blah blah blah......potato blight in ireland and then the irish came here as convicts to build the first railroad in new south wales... blah blah blah blah..... my daughter is a runner too, shes a hurdler she... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...(28 minutes later) anyway i think ive spoken enough and you should get back to *bell rings*

 

[kuytbird]

Quote of the year (thus far) talking about newtons laws, gravity and the like with a really great physics teacher who has a problem with cats...
"And that is why your throw a cat out of the fifth floor and not the eight..."
english teacher (im on great terms with) on a poems original date
"well he died in 1970, so its not after that..."
Drama teacher, after being pressured into a performance by a student who has a terrible haircut. the performance was on siblings who wanted the tv..the student stupidly did a very gay catwalk for no reason really...
"and that haircut...i mean go jump in front of a car or something... and can you do that gay gay walk again, i didnt get a good view of it the first time..."


there are so many, this is from the past week alone... :S

 

[Aerath]

Oh god…I never even knew that this thread existed. I write down these quotes in my diary, here’s a few of the better ones:

(whilst taking ID photos, guy is smiling, he’s Asian and has ‘small’ eyes)
Ms May: David, are your eyes open?

(guy walks into class late, with really low pants)
Mr Storey: (in a really bogan accent) Pull up ya pants ya dickhead.

Mr Storey: 84% of the Chinese people work in the public sector, and 26% in the private sectors.

(to a sub)
Tasneem: Sir, what’s your name?
Sub: I’m Mr Kidd
Razeen: You’ve got to be kidding.
Sub: Get out.

(English teacher trying to read someone’s writing)
Ms Boukatos: What the hell is this? It’s like trying to read Arabic!

(In assembly, Deputy Principal is addressing the senior school – Yrs 10 11 and 12)
Mr Dowdell: Years 10, 11 and 12 will have the day off. Years 7 and 8 will have to go to the Head of the River (assembly begins to laugh)…and Year 9 will have normal classes.
(Entire assembly laughs for about a minute)
Mr Dowdell: (with a straight deadpan voice and cold look) Yeah, I thought you guys would appreciate that.

Ms Boukatos: I’m coming around to collect homework….. (sees some students giving her shifty looks)….or excuses.

 

[Caitlin63]

Our maths teacher says some random shit about two weeks ago we were doing volume questions and he says.
Teacher: "This is question is not like being pregnant"
Class: "WHAT?"
Teacher: "Well you're either pregnant or you're not. In this question you could be right, but not entirely right, the best way to write the answer is this *writes on board*"
Student: "But sir, what's that got to do with being pregnant?"
Teacher: "Well there is no grey area with pregnancy, you either are or you aren't. This question is not like being pregnant, it is not a simple yes or no. Now do these questions"
Class: *Cracks up laughing"

 

[Paj20]

English Teacher: Show some Consideration!

English Teacher: When people are away... "It never Ends!"

English Teacher: Arrogance of American Society

 

[michael1990]

Today, a person in our Economics class said, oh these textbooks are mad, they have everything you need to know. He was also asked by another student in our Economics class "How does it feel to be retarded"


WHAT A CRACK UP! lol