Thanks for all the comments guys; I'll now return the favour
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Sweets: Your analysis of the 'American Dream' was very sophisticated. I can clearly see, through my study of Citizen Kane in Module B, that you've expanded on the concepts of the Advanced English course instead of rehashing them, as crazyhomo identified. You dealt with popular culture TV shows such as 'The Sopranos', 'The OC' and 'Desperate Housewives' in a scholarly manner, as opposed to having made superficial links to the 'American Dream'. Though it did seem somewhat discursive at points, especially the analysis of 'The Sopranos' and 'Desperate Housewives' (I found the analysis of 'The OC' to be more succinct and snappy), you ultimately linked it back to the central thesis of the critical response well. Your examination of the darker underside of the 'American Dream', the proposal that it's often merely a contradictory, modernist "veneer", was especially insightful. A vast range of critical theorists, as well as your juxtaposition of modernist and postmodern approaches to the phenomenon, have ensured you were able to examine the concept on a much deeper level than had you simply dabbled in an analysis of techniques.
So the only criticism I really have would be its discursiveness at some points; otherwise, the critical response and reflection statement were structured well and added something to the sum total of human knowledge, something so many critical responses fail to do. Excellent job.
OutOfOrder: The pastiche of styles and the contradictorily laid-back yet serious nature of your story was very engaging. The witty footnotes, for example, were an excellent addition I thought, and kept the reader turning the page to discover the inanities and trivialities of the very vivid world you created.
My initial worry that some segments were arbitrary or waffly was quickly quelled by your reflection statement, which did a good job of justifying your more experimental techniques such as the ambiguously narrated, modernist streams of consciousness. The protagonist Olaf was a very refreshing character - in contrast to the typical hero figure, he adds an element of inherently imperfect humanity to your work, despite his incarnations as a vampire and, later, Death's assistant. On the subject of Death, I thought the familial conflict between him and his daughter was, in its context, humourous yet touching, adding another interesting layer to the central story. The humour undercutting the story's entirety offered a welcome break from the tension of the story, too.
I felt, however, that you weren't specific enough in regards to your intended audience in the reflection statement, and that some parts and lesser characters of the story itself could have been better developed. I sympathise, however, with the fact that you had to jam-pack a complex story into 8000 words. Overall, it was an entertaining read and provided great escapism.
Whew. I'll get to the rest soon...