Breaks- do they work?? (1 Viewer)

[nono]

My boyfriend and I are going on a break. I want to know if they ever work- do couples ever get back together and make things right?

I need to know because the ball's pretty much in his court and I'm just clinging onto the hope that we will get back together.

If anyone's had an experience, please share and vote on the poll.

Also, I don't really know how they're supposed to work- like, are we supposed to see each other to try work things out or should I leave him alone? Do I call, or will that influence the way things are? I really don't know what I should do.

 

[jooobl]

My boyfriend and I are going on a break. I want to know if they ever work- do couples ever get back together and make things right?

I need to know because the ball's pretty much in his court and I'm just clinging onto the hope that we will get back together.

If anyone's had an experience, please share and vote on the poll.

Also, I don't really know how they're supposed to work- like, are we supposed to see each other to try work things out or should I leave him alone? Do I call, or will that influence the way things are? I really don't know what I should do.

Depends on the reason why the break occurs...which you have not told us

 

[Ranger Stacie]

i hate to say it, but a break= break up.
i guess some couples prolly get back tgether but generally tis a way of breaking up easily- a cop out. i say dont waste your time and move on. i wouldnt call- the best thing to do would be to get on with your life and not let him know that you are upset.

When I was 15, my then boyfriend decided hed like to go on a 'break. I asked for how long and he answered...'well, we don't have to put a time limit on it, do we? whenever feels 'right''. 5 years on...i suppose technically i'm still in that relationship, on a 5 year hiatus. lol

 

[nono]

Depends on the reason why the break occurs...which you have not told us

Sometimes he says things that upset me. He can't bear upsetting me, so he folds. He gives in. He says I guilt trip him. He says he doesn't want to go on hurting me and needs to stop being so soft with me. He says he needs time to think things over- if it's worth working things through.

He doesn't want to go on with me influencing him the way I do- I don't do it on purpose.

The thing is, it came out of the blue- I never knew he felt this way and it's a huge blow.

But somehow, I don't think he's ready to give up on me- the whole time he was hugging me and kissing me on the cheek. He asked me to give him a second chance which doesnt make sense cos I was asking him for the chance to show him we can work things out.

 

[virgin^sexy]

they usually just lead to a break up. and it's usually the person who initiates the break that actually ends it. so like, don't get yr hopes up.

also, in my opinion, if he has to think that hard about whether the relationship is worth working for, it probably isn't.

 

[Lainee]

I think breaks are okay, sometimes even good, if they're 'forced' breaks where you don't have a choice but to be away from each other for a certain amount of time (i.e. one person is going overseas for two months).

But if one of you actually make a conscious decision to have a 'break', my odds are on the fact that this might be a permanent break. A relationship is not like a job, you don't have holidays and weekends where you can come back to work afterwards and pick up where you left off. A relationship is a constant. It may have it's up and downs, but the ups and downs are dealt by both of you together, not apart. That's how it should go.

There's something stewing in his mind if he consciously thought through the decision to going on a break. You said he needs to think if "it's worth working things through"! Alarm bells are ringing in my head. So he's going to step back to assess whether it's worth being in the relationship? I'm not convinced.

 

[alby]

when one of my ex's decided for us to go on a break i was completely shocked. i thought everything was going fine beforehand, the only time i was a little worried was new years that year, when you could definitely feel the distance between us. we broke up about a week later.

one of his mates called it a "trial seperation", which i didnt get at the time. but now when i think about it, it's probably a good definition - trialing what it'd be like if we were married/de-facto and decided to seperate - only thing is most relationships which have 'breaks' arent anything close to the seriousness of couples who get married.

 

[tres bien]

My boyfriend and I are going on a break. I want to know if they ever work- do couples ever get back together and make things right?

I need to know because the ball's pretty much in his court and I'm just clinging onto the hope that we will get back together.

If anyone's had an experience, please share and vote on the poll.

Also, I don't really know how they're supposed to work- like, are we supposed to see each other to try work things out or should I leave him alone? Do I call, or will that influence the way things are? I really don't know what I should do.

Welcome to Dumpsville. Population - YOU.

Breaks don't normally work. It questions if you really "love" the person you're with, which leads to "I don't think it is right being with this person if I don't love them anymore".

A friend of mine was saying that if a particular male friend of hers were to say that he loves her and wants her, she'd dump her boyfriend and go for him. This was after she said that she loves her boyfriend, but doesn't know if she's in the relationship for the right reasons. In this case, she should consider breaking up with her boyfriend, rather than going on the "break" or anything.

 

[kandi_cloud]

Breaks work it's own ways depending on what happened and what's happening, everyone seems to have this thing where break=break up, for my relationship when worse came to worse my bf and I went on a break. I couldn't stand being away from him, but we were just in each other's faces too much, and the arguing was frequent.

Our break lasted 2 weeks and it was the best time for both of us, we still talked on the phone but less that b4, and we minimised it down to talking as friends, that is, without the lovey-dovey stuff to make it easier to sort and cope. We still met up once a week just to hang as friends. It gave me time to think if the relationship was worth it to sort things through, and get back and stuff without having his feelings in the way and influencing what i wanted.

In the end i missed him and everytime i was with him, i had butterflies and i felt the way i felt when i was first with him and that showed me that i had feelings for him and being away from him made me think about what a great guy he was and that he was worth it. We sorted things through and now we're back together, sometimes we argue and stuff but the break brought us closer and we sort things through easier now.

So if it's really what you want and if it's something worth the wait and time, then wait, i did and i'm glad i waited. But also it's not just your willingness the other person has to contribute.

oops might've trailed on for too long...

 

[nono]

Breaks work it's own ways depending on what happened and what's happening, everyone seems to have this thing where break=break up, for my relationship when worse came to worse my bf and I went on a break. I couldn't stand being away from him, but we were just in each other's faces too much, and the arguing was frequent.

Our break lasted 2 weeks and it was the best time for both of us, we still talked on the phone but less that b4, and we minimised it down to talking as friends, that is, without the lovey-dovey stuff to make it easier to sort and cope. We still met up once a week just to hang as friends. It gave me time to think if the relationship was worth it to sort things through, and get back and stuff without having his feelings in the way and influencing what i wanted.

In the end i missed him and everytime i was with him, i had butterflies and i felt the way i felt when i was first with him and that showed me that i had feelings for him and being away from him made me think about what a great guy he was and that he was worth it. We sorted things through and now we're back together, sometimes we argue and stuff but the break brought us closer and we sort things through easier now.

So if it's really what you want and if it's something worth the wait and time, then wait, i did and i'm glad i waited. But also it's not just your willingness the other person has to contribute.

oops might've trailed on for too long...

No, you didn't trail for too long! Your post was the most positive one here and I'm so glad you shared your experience- everyone else is scaring and disheartening me...

I'm so glad things worked out between you and your boyfriend- I could only hope to be so lucky...

 

[kandi_cloud]

well i think most relationships maybe do end up breaking up, i mean when i was ont he break everyone was like "that doesn't sound good, your gona break up, coz no one ever gets back together" i mean, it depends on how much both of you are willing to put into the relationship, it's between both of you and both of you should talk about, it's best to talk to each other because no one else knows what is goin on between the two of you, and if you can't talk like as in it's hard, then don't talk to each other for a few days just to let things calm down and stuff.

it's hard to say anything on these things, but people out there who have had positive experiences, do post something!!

 

[shortie_689]

My ex boyfriend and I went on a break, I initiated it though because I was finding him too full on... When I did initiate it i thought thats that we wouldnt get back together but we did an lasted about 6 more months but it turned out for us that the problems were still there even after the break so it would never really work...

If you want to make it work you can but it often takes 2 to do it... I say give ur bf time like 3 days to himself were he can have is own time to think about it after that make some sort of contact if he hasnt done so already... Don't pressure him that will drive him away...

Goodluck and Don't Lose hope if there is something there for you

 

[nono]

My ex boyfriend and I went on a break, I initiated it though because I was finding him too full on... When I did initiate it i thought thats that we wouldnt get back together but we did an lasted about 6 more months but it turned out for us that the problems were still there even after the break so it would never really work...

If you want to make it work you can but it often takes 2 to do it... I say give ur bf time like 3 days to himself were he can have is own time to think about it after that make some sort of contact if he hasnt done so already... Don't pressure him that will drive him away...

Goodluck and Don't Lose hope if there is something there for you

I think I pushed him too far...we've been talking since I suggested the break and it's not such a good idea..I dont know anymore...I don't know what to do...I think he's made up his mind and I feel so helpless.

 

[minushuman]

I don't know how anyone would expect to work things out on a break where by defintion on a break you would not be talking. What the fuck? People can be so stupid.

 

[Bolta]

Break = Break up

 

[!! CaR`JiE !!]

Yes. for me.. But DEPENDs. unless a couple makes it clear it's only a timeout for few days or so.

I just had a short break/timeout coz been having unsolved problems and both needed (well especially for me) a timeout to think and calm down before we say/do wrong that may cause my relationship to end. My relationship was abt to end coz he was getting too frustrated abt our frequent tension between us.

so Timeout (or so called break) helps think things thru ..give urself 'own' time to think what u really want, not use ur anger over power u

 

[SarahLea]

HaHaHa
I know a guy who continuously whinges about his girlfriend and how unhappy he is. So they go on "a break" and everytime he gets with another chick. His poor girlfriend keeps going back to him, and things are never resolved.

I don't think there is a difference between "going on a break" and breaking up.

It's stupid.

If you're having problems, shouldn't people mutually try to solve them, or not see each other as much? When someone declares they need a break, it's just an easier way of saying I want to break up, i've given up.

 

[nono]

Well just to let you all know, this break worked.

We worked things out- or more like he realised he was being a fool and wanted me back...

Thanks for the undying support, all you un-believers...heh..

 

[denise_]

IMHO- breaks tend to lead to splitsville, just the longer way around.