Can someone give me urgent feedback on this business report plss (1 Viewer)

4lulai

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I dont have much experience in writing business reports, so I'm not too sure how good this report is, Any feedback is greatly appreciated! (If there are any spelling errors, please ignore, this was speed typed)
 

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jimmysmith560

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Here are my thoughts:

1.0 Executive summary:
  • There is no information in the stimulus from which we can infer the business's legal structure. As such, I would avoid mentioning Sarah being a sole trader.
  • Ensure that business names are capitalised as needed, e.g. "Eco Sip" instead of "eco sip".
  • Overall, a good and comprehensive executive summary. My concern is with its length and whether an executive summary this long can realistically be written under exam conditions.
2. Consumer laws:
2.1 Deceptive and misleading advertising:

  • A good section and a reasonable inference presented, indicating good understanding of the stimulus and content.
2.2 Implied conditions:
  • The third dot point needs to be reworded for further clarity.
  • Avoid using contractions. For example, you should "are not" instead of "aren't".
  • Overall, a good section showing good understanding of the stimulus and content.
3.0 Marketing strategies:
3.1 Relationship marketing:

  • Overall, a good section showing good understanding of the stimulus and content.
3.2 Opinion leaders:
  • The "Ultimately strengthening Eco Sip's image and claims regarding the freshness of their products." sentence should be part of the previous sentence. On its own, it is grammatically incorrect and reduces response clarity.
  • Overall, a good section showing good understanding of the stimulus and content.
4.0 Interdependence:
  • Overall, a good section showing good understanding of the stimulus and content.
5.0 Summary:
  • A good paragraph that briefly summarises the main points discussed in your response.
Overall:

This is a good quality response, and I would give it 18/20.


I hope this helps! 😄
 

4lulai

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Here are my thoughts:

1.0 Executive summary:
  • There is no information in the stimulus from which we can infer the business's legal structure. As such, I would avoid mentioning Sarah being a sole trader.
  • Ensure that business names are capitalised as needed, e.g. "Eco Sip" instead of "eco sip".
  • Overall, a good and comprehensive executive summary. My concern is with its length and whether an executive summary this long can realistically be written under exam conditions.
2. Consumer laws:
2.1 Deceptive and misleading advertising:

  • A good section and a reasonable inference presented, indicating good understanding of the stimulus and content.
2.2 Implied conditions:
  • The third dot point needs to be reworded for further clarity.
  • Avoid using contractions. For example, you should "are not" instead of "aren't".
  • Overall, a good section showing good understanding of the stimulus and content.
3.0 Marketing strategies:
3.1 Relationship marketing:

  • Overall, a good section showing good understanding of the stimulus and content.
3.2 Opinion leaders:
  • The "Ultimately strengthening Eco Sip's image and claims regarding the freshness of their products." sentence should be part of the previous sentence. On its own, it is grammatically incorrect and reduces response clarity.
  • Overall, a good section showing good understanding of the stimulus and content.
4.0 Interdependence:
  • Overall, a good section showing good understanding of the stimulus and content.
5.0 Summary:
  • A good paragraph that briefly summarises the main points discussed in your response.
Overall:

This is a good quality response, and I would give it 18/20.


I hope this helps! 😄
Thanks so much for this! If I were to apply your feedback on condensing the executive summary, improving grammar and changing certain parts of the implied conditions paragraph, do you think this would have the ability to potentially be 20/20 material?
 

jimmysmith560

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Thanks so much for this! If I were to apply your feedback on condensing the executive summary, improving grammar and changing certain parts of the implied conditions paragraph, do you think this would have the ability to potentially be 20/20 material?
No worries! Potentially yes, this is a good quality response, so if you address these areas, you would have a good chance of receiving a 20/20.
 

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