This could be quite lengthy so I've included two versions.
The short of it:
22, studying for 4 years, changed degree twice, Arts -> Multimedia -> Business Information Systems, no idea what I'm doing, no passion for anything, hating my university, disillusioned with education, unfulfilled, unsatisfied, hating myself and those around me, no skills, no experience, no hint of where to start and no idea what to even think anymore.
The whole debacle (if you don't want to listen to me whine skip to the end):
Entered university not knowing what to do and being too lazy to work. Always liked history and books so started with a BA even though I knew I didn't have the chops for an academic career and that it was almost universally derided. Told myself I'd find out what I wanted in the process but didn't and lost all motivation to study leading to some fails from non-attendance/last minute assessment.
Tried to narrow my focus to multimedia because I'd always used computers but wasn't confident I could compete in more technical disciplines. Held on for a bit longer (1.5 years) but hated that too and couldn't see myself being passionate enough to pursue design. Took 6 months off to think things through but basically became a neet and didn't end up anywhere.
Thought I could be a smart cookie by starting a degree which mixed IT (growing industry) with business (money) without properly researching what the discipline was, where it lead or what I could do with it.
2 weeks into my second year now and I feel like I've finally woken up. The field has narrow applications and anyone with a compsci/IT or commerce degree could probably do it better. No one I talk to seems to know what the degree is and I'm beginning to feel as though its just pit for uncommitted idiots who don't know what they're doing. The course convener hasn't returned my emails requesting consultation and doesn't seem to give a shit. At this point my GPA isn't good enough to get me into anything meaningful and starting another 3 year degree will make me 25 at graduation.
It's pathetic, I have no social life, passion or skills because I believed they'd all be handed to me without having to work. I know if I don't do that now I'll drown, but I'm as directionless as I was at day one and terrified that whatever I choose will be reduced to pointlessness by my own self-destructive and cynical nature. My personality is rotten and I haven't managed to form any connections or make any meaningful use of my time except to hate those around me.
Basically, my head's been a storm of conflicting thoughts. I've spent the last two weeks obsessively seeking information on every occupation/form of education I could and haven't come to a solution. Some here say STEM/Comm is the only thing worthwhile while others advise to find what interests you, but I have neither avenues available. Every option for my future that I can consider seems similarly bleak and unremarkable - and whats more, every method to pursue them requires considerable time and money of which I don't know where should be best invested.
So here's my question: is it worth it to attempt to stick it out for 2 more years with no motivation, direction or desire for occupation in the field just for the piece of paper? Or, should I take time off again, seriously re-evaluate and try to gain some life experience for perspective. I'm at my wits end here, I can't see any path before me and I need desperately to make sense of things.
If you're going to disparage me, I get it, but please: give some consideration to what you say and want to communicate.
The short of it:
22, studying for 4 years, changed degree twice, Arts -> Multimedia -> Business Information Systems, no idea what I'm doing, no passion for anything, hating my university, disillusioned with education, unfulfilled, unsatisfied, hating myself and those around me, no skills, no experience, no hint of where to start and no idea what to even think anymore.
The whole debacle (if you don't want to listen to me whine skip to the end):
Entered university not knowing what to do and being too lazy to work. Always liked history and books so started with a BA even though I knew I didn't have the chops for an academic career and that it was almost universally derided. Told myself I'd find out what I wanted in the process but didn't and lost all motivation to study leading to some fails from non-attendance/last minute assessment.
Tried to narrow my focus to multimedia because I'd always used computers but wasn't confident I could compete in more technical disciplines. Held on for a bit longer (1.5 years) but hated that too and couldn't see myself being passionate enough to pursue design. Took 6 months off to think things through but basically became a neet and didn't end up anywhere.
Thought I could be a smart cookie by starting a degree which mixed IT (growing industry) with business (money) without properly researching what the discipline was, where it lead or what I could do with it.
2 weeks into my second year now and I feel like I've finally woken up. The field has narrow applications and anyone with a compsci/IT or commerce degree could probably do it better. No one I talk to seems to know what the degree is and I'm beginning to feel as though its just pit for uncommitted idiots who don't know what they're doing. The course convener hasn't returned my emails requesting consultation and doesn't seem to give a shit. At this point my GPA isn't good enough to get me into anything meaningful and starting another 3 year degree will make me 25 at graduation.
It's pathetic, I have no social life, passion or skills because I believed they'd all be handed to me without having to work. I know if I don't do that now I'll drown, but I'm as directionless as I was at day one and terrified that whatever I choose will be reduced to pointlessness by my own self-destructive and cynical nature. My personality is rotten and I haven't managed to form any connections or make any meaningful use of my time except to hate those around me.
Basically, my head's been a storm of conflicting thoughts. I've spent the last two weeks obsessively seeking information on every occupation/form of education I could and haven't come to a solution. Some here say STEM/Comm is the only thing worthwhile while others advise to find what interests you, but I have neither avenues available. Every option for my future that I can consider seems similarly bleak and unremarkable - and whats more, every method to pursue them requires considerable time and money of which I don't know where should be best invested.
So here's my question: is it worth it to attempt to stick it out for 2 more years with no motivation, direction or desire for occupation in the field just for the piece of paper? Or, should I take time off again, seriously re-evaluate and try to gain some life experience for perspective. I'm at my wits end here, I can't see any path before me and I need desperately to make sense of things.
If you're going to disparage me, I get it, but please: give some consideration to what you say and want to communicate.
Find something you really love and join a club! If you don't have anything you particularly enjoy, join a general club- e.g Foodlovers. You do meet a host of people from different degrees. Aside from getting a better idea on what each course is like, you get to make friends! 