sydneysfinest
New Member
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2009
- Messages
- 3
- Gender
- Male
- HSC
- 2010
Creative writing on belonging. Rate it out of 15 and tell me why it/isn't good.
To Veronica Shepherd.. I hope your proud of me..
You have just defeated sh00t3rK1ll3r. The voice came out of the computer whilst I was playing my favorite game Counter-Strike. At 16 years old, huge belly and a social status of zero, that pretty much is the only thing that I’m good at. I went to refill my drink and get some food from the fridge even though I had eaten one hour ago. As I walked to the kitchen the television was on and I saw the commercial, and the thing that out to me is ‘You Are What You Eat! I found myself sitting down on the kitchen table, wondering how I’d let my body come to this shape, always curious to see how high school would be like if I had a killer six pac or massive arms. Right then I realised that I’m in year 12 and this may be the only time to ever do it, I dropped the tin of Nutella and picked up some juice. I can do this I told myself.
The progress was slow, if any progress at all. In the mirror I still looked the same, yet the scale said otherwise. My two best mates Denzel and Alex were basically like me, well the old me, so getting feedback on progress would be too embarrassing to ask. Walking in school I still saw the jocks and the cheerleaders walking past me like I didn’t exist. It could be worse I thought, at least I don’t get bullied. I envied them though, I wanted to be a jock and have a cheerleader girlfriend.
Three months after the day when I dropped that Nutella I had lost all of the weight I carried. I was the average weight for a guy my age, but average still didn’t cut it. I wanted to be more than average, those guys at school with the muscular bodies still made me jealous as I’m sure that’s my ticket to the ladies. I used the money I made working twice weekly at the PCREPAIR shop to purchase a gym membership. It was time for me to get muscles.
My friends laughed at me when I told them I had bought a gym membership, saying how everyone who buys it goes once or twice and never goes again. Although they were genuinely impressed with how much weight I had lost (and wouldn’t stop bugging me on how I did it), they didn’t think I had the willpower to go to the gym consistently without giving up. They were wrong.
This must be a dream I thought to myself, I could see the development of my biceps build up in the third week in the gym. I was overwhelmed with it, like I had found a piece of gold and wanted to show everyone it. I had already told myself I’m not going to show anyone the prototype until the final product is finished. Two months later I had hit the jackpot, I had it all, arms abs and chest, though I was still slim.
If I thought friends bugging me on how to lose weight was annoying then this constant interrogation on how to build muscle was even worse. Every time I saw them that’s all they would talk about but I was not yet finished with how I wanted my body; I had it all I just needed to make everything bigger. Counting calories and protein shakes were my next step, yet they required more money and consistency as well. It would all be worth it in the end.
“Hey Jordan, looking good there” a girl said while I walked in the school corridor. I turned around and saw a cheerleader smile at me and give me a wink, then ran to her friends and they were all blushing. Five months of effort, was it worth just that? Hell yeah it was. I had never had a girlfriend and the only people I talked two at school were my good counter-strike buddies yet the following weeks I encountered a lot more “Hellos’ and “Hi’s. I opened my locker and found an invitation to a pool party the jocks and cheerleaders hold every fortnight.
“You in?” a male voice said behind me and I turned to see captain of the football team grinning at me. I didn’t know what to say, as I was certain this was a prank. I would either turn him down so he wouldn’t get the pleasure of having a laugh or I’d say no to a sincere party offer.
“You really want me to go to your party. Why are you asking me now out of all those years we’ve been in the same class?” I said curiously though we both knew the answer to the question. I was muscular now. How stupid it was that the only thing standing in the way before of me hanging with the popular kids at school was my appearance.
“Listen mate you want to come to the party or not I’m not gonna ask again” he spoke smoothly. I told him I would as long as I brought Denzel and Alex, though when I mentioned them he didn’t look too happy. This was the new chapter of high school for me, I would be popular now.
Getting out of the car my mates and I walked up to the steps of the house and heard the insane sound of speakers and splashes. The atmosphere was very alive. When we walked in I was wearing a singlet showing off my big arms and I could see a few girls instantly stare. Without any hesitation I jumped in the pool leaving my friends behind, and just minutes later was dunking girls in the water and piggybacking one of the cheerleaders. It felt good.
Time must have gone by really fast. I got out of the pool and saw my friends gone. They couldn’t have left without telling me. I started to search around the party, though since no one knew their names I had to describe them as the ‘fat guys’. I had almost given up hope when I found them at the other side of the house beat up and bloody. I didn’t have to ask who was responsible, I knew. Jocks.
I could never be like them. I may have shaped up to their size, probably even bigger, but their ruthless carelessness of people who didn’t fit their social standards was disgusting. I was not going to try and behave like them to make me popular. I’m loyal to my friends I told myself, though hanging with the popular guys at school gave me real exposure to the girls.
So I guess that’s me this year mum, the tank/nerd guy at school who refuses to conform to the jock lifestyle. I’m happy with the two friends I have.
The paper gets folded and Jordan digs a small hole next to the grave, placing it inside.
To Veronica Shepherd.. I hope your proud of me..
You have just defeated sh00t3rK1ll3r. The voice came out of the computer whilst I was playing my favorite game Counter-Strike. At 16 years old, huge belly and a social status of zero, that pretty much is the only thing that I’m good at. I went to refill my drink and get some food from the fridge even though I had eaten one hour ago. As I walked to the kitchen the television was on and I saw the commercial, and the thing that out to me is ‘You Are What You Eat! I found myself sitting down on the kitchen table, wondering how I’d let my body come to this shape, always curious to see how high school would be like if I had a killer six pac or massive arms. Right then I realised that I’m in year 12 and this may be the only time to ever do it, I dropped the tin of Nutella and picked up some juice. I can do this I told myself.
The progress was slow, if any progress at all. In the mirror I still looked the same, yet the scale said otherwise. My two best mates Denzel and Alex were basically like me, well the old me, so getting feedback on progress would be too embarrassing to ask. Walking in school I still saw the jocks and the cheerleaders walking past me like I didn’t exist. It could be worse I thought, at least I don’t get bullied. I envied them though, I wanted to be a jock and have a cheerleader girlfriend.
Three months after the day when I dropped that Nutella I had lost all of the weight I carried. I was the average weight for a guy my age, but average still didn’t cut it. I wanted to be more than average, those guys at school with the muscular bodies still made me jealous as I’m sure that’s my ticket to the ladies. I used the money I made working twice weekly at the PCREPAIR shop to purchase a gym membership. It was time for me to get muscles.
My friends laughed at me when I told them I had bought a gym membership, saying how everyone who buys it goes once or twice and never goes again. Although they were genuinely impressed with how much weight I had lost (and wouldn’t stop bugging me on how I did it), they didn’t think I had the willpower to go to the gym consistently without giving up. They were wrong.
This must be a dream I thought to myself, I could see the development of my biceps build up in the third week in the gym. I was overwhelmed with it, like I had found a piece of gold and wanted to show everyone it. I had already told myself I’m not going to show anyone the prototype until the final product is finished. Two months later I had hit the jackpot, I had it all, arms abs and chest, though I was still slim.
If I thought friends bugging me on how to lose weight was annoying then this constant interrogation on how to build muscle was even worse. Every time I saw them that’s all they would talk about but I was not yet finished with how I wanted my body; I had it all I just needed to make everything bigger. Counting calories and protein shakes were my next step, yet they required more money and consistency as well. It would all be worth it in the end.
“Hey Jordan, looking good there” a girl said while I walked in the school corridor. I turned around and saw a cheerleader smile at me and give me a wink, then ran to her friends and they were all blushing. Five months of effort, was it worth just that? Hell yeah it was. I had never had a girlfriend and the only people I talked two at school were my good counter-strike buddies yet the following weeks I encountered a lot more “Hellos’ and “Hi’s. I opened my locker and found an invitation to a pool party the jocks and cheerleaders hold every fortnight.
“You in?” a male voice said behind me and I turned to see captain of the football team grinning at me. I didn’t know what to say, as I was certain this was a prank. I would either turn him down so he wouldn’t get the pleasure of having a laugh or I’d say no to a sincere party offer.
“You really want me to go to your party. Why are you asking me now out of all those years we’ve been in the same class?” I said curiously though we both knew the answer to the question. I was muscular now. How stupid it was that the only thing standing in the way before of me hanging with the popular kids at school was my appearance.
“Listen mate you want to come to the party or not I’m not gonna ask again” he spoke smoothly. I told him I would as long as I brought Denzel and Alex, though when I mentioned them he didn’t look too happy. This was the new chapter of high school for me, I would be popular now.
Getting out of the car my mates and I walked up to the steps of the house and heard the insane sound of speakers and splashes. The atmosphere was very alive. When we walked in I was wearing a singlet showing off my big arms and I could see a few girls instantly stare. Without any hesitation I jumped in the pool leaving my friends behind, and just minutes later was dunking girls in the water and piggybacking one of the cheerleaders. It felt good.
Time must have gone by really fast. I got out of the pool and saw my friends gone. They couldn’t have left without telling me. I started to search around the party, though since no one knew their names I had to describe them as the ‘fat guys’. I had almost given up hope when I found them at the other side of the house beat up and bloody. I didn’t have to ask who was responsible, I knew. Jocks.
I could never be like them. I may have shaped up to their size, probably even bigger, but their ruthless carelessness of people who didn’t fit their social standards was disgusting. I was not going to try and behave like them to make me popular. I’m loyal to my friends I told myself, though hanging with the popular guys at school gave me real exposure to the girls.
So I guess that’s me this year mum, the tank/nerd guy at school who refuses to conform to the jock lifestyle. I’m happy with the two friends I have.
The paper gets folded and Jordan digs a small hole next to the grave, placing it inside.
