Hey, it's going pretty good so far, I'm speed reading it, but you seem to have a minor verbosity issue.
I take it you're exploring the effects of taking mental pills? (I'm being serious) And the conflicting images in her subconscious are making her go even worse? (I need to be sure I'm reading it right)
I suppose you could try to switch perspectives, instead of the second person, I think minor switches into third person could work well, if you're aiming for a Matrix-style nihilistic approach to exploring the dream vs reality theme that you have going. But so far, the second person is working.
A major one: the piece as a whole isn't working. Breaking it up into anger, denial, depression, bargaining etc. was really good, but the one thing that's failing your idea, is an actual catalyst, what caused her to go to the next stage of depression? And more importantly, show me. There's a fair bit of telling - you want the showing part to come through.
The imagery in each section is done incredibly well, but there's no link between one stage and the next. If there is, I can't see it. How did the protagonist manage to sink so far? Are there consequences for this? (I know the husband part was a minor "consequence" but I'm gonna need something bigger), and most importantly, what exactly changed in each part?
And the biggest fault: it's not engaging.
Although, this: [FONT="]"Back at their home, emptied of the trappings of family life, a farewell waited on the kitchen counter with all the audacity of a shopping list."[/FONT]
captures the motherly housewife feel really well.
This:
[FONT="]As the last of the men trailed out, and her daughter's room was empty, she stepped out into the fresh morning, watching the truck containing all her once-treasures drive away. She locked the door of her perfect apartment and strode without hesitation out into the streets, holding the sweet-scented bouquet. It was time for a last goodbye, a last bouqet, a last daily trek to her child's resting place. And then, with the pills behind her and the misplaced room emptied, she could rest. [/FONT]
Could be turned to this:
[FONT="]As the last of the men trailed out, she stepped out into the fresh morning, watching the truck protecting all her once-treasures fade. She sealed her once perfect apartment and strode without hesitation out into the streets, clutching the blossoming bouquet. [/FONT]
I thought the changes I made in that paragraph would be good at juxtaposing the language you used for the earlier stages of your story. Like she could renew her life, move on in a way. So I thought making it more positive and less "heavy" could make the change more obvious. The sentence I cut out, I couldn't substitute, but I don't think it was making the impact it should've at this stage in the story.
Also, it seems you're dwelling a bit too much on the feelings part.
=/ hope that was helpful
Dont worry about the other guy he doesn't know what he's goin on about. Goodluck with it, im sure you'll do well.