Hello all.
Obviously, i've been lurking these forums for a while, just reading up, i love knowing i'm not alone in this battle, for an awesome ATAR.. but i've registered to get some feedback..
Although the HSC has been a major stress to me and everyone, and we all can't wait to feel it disappear when it's all over, but i am really confused and actually, quite depressed in day to day life as i look into the future, so i have posted here as maybe some of you can relate, you are all obviously intellegent people and undergo the same lifestyle of just study study study.
I'll get straight to it. I do not wan't to grow up.
i have recently turned 18 and lfie has appeared so dull, not that the environment i'm in is dull (i've got all i want/need, plenty of friends, plenty of sex ect...) but just my mind, makes everything seem so bland.
Just knowing that, i'm never going to be a kid again, and lfie just gets more serious from here on. Leaving school, a place where you can hit on girls every day, study with friends, socialise and have authority over you. It's a fun thing, and i'm going to miss days so much like this.
University seems fun, but just not the same.
Honestly, does anyone else not want to leave school so much? Does anyone else really getd epressed when thinking about growing up?
I seriously get so ill about it, i lose sleep, i get depressed as a molocule, i'd rather do the HSC every year for the rest of my life then go grow up.
Honestly, it sucks. I'm 18, i can no longer drink alchahol illegally, it used to be so fun knowing it was illegal, now its fucking shit. Everything will be the same.. i don't want to drive places, i don't want to 'learn independantly' , i don't want to get a job (i'll be a programmer, the best there ever was) and program, and earn money for what.
I just want to be a kid, life is so much better as a kid, and sorry for this post if it's just stupid, it's just i've been sitting here for 3 hours , unable to study, staring at a wall thinkinbg about how awesome my childhood has been and how i'm never ever going to sit down and play a sega and think it was the best thing ever, i'll never appreciate 2d graphics ( unless i'm programming the games myself), i'll be old, being 19, i won;t be surrounded by 14 year old girls desperate to lose their virginity, i've actually had my love story, it was good, but now what, i've got nothing to look forward to in life, i know i'm going to be wealthy and have friends.
sorry , i've just dumped all my emotions on this stupid board, fuck i'm going to miss school and being a kid.
Now must prepare for the rage.
thanks for reading i guess.
