didn’t get 1st in my best subject, how do I keep going? (1 Viewer)

[Akuri]

This might seem like a useless thing to complain about.. But we recently got back the reports for our last year of work, and I did my absolute best, came 1st on 80% of activities, and got really good marks, so I was hoping I’d see my name on the chart, but I wasn’t. To be fair, I didn’t fully reach my potential; by this I mean I missed ALOT of deadlines ( although I eventually handed in the work ), had to rush a lot of work more than sustained commitment, and I flunked on some of the assessments because I have disability needs that weren’t met. It may sound stupid that I was expecting first from this but it had happened before and it was my only subject this year.

Even so, although I still have time to do well in the coming year, I think I already missed my chance to come first. And the thought of this is making me feel too insecure and upset to touch my work. This isnt even a subject I want to pursue after school, I just want to do well. I have really bad habits that keep contributing to my work being ruined, but these issues are due to symptoms that I cannot get assessed for another 5 months minimum, and I can’t handle them alone. I’m still going to try over the holiday but I don’t want to have too high of expectations.

Basically, I just want to know how I can motivate myself to not avoid my work or feel constantly depressed about this; WITHOUT using the thought that I can still come first next year because I don’t think I can considering.

 

[cchan334]

Sounds like you are going through a lot at the moment . You should definitely take some of the holidays off for yourself to rest up and recuperate. Sounds like you are just burnt out from everything (can relate soooo hard) and that your expectations weren't met and that was a hard fall. I've realised that generally the subjects I do well in are the ones that I would never think of coming first in, but I still put in the effort and it pays back!! I know teachers always preach the growth and fixed mindset but yes, absolutely having a growth mindset is super important when your results are not as good as you wished. I did really badly in English for the first assessment in prelims, and I felt unmotivated to try, but I smashed the next 2 assessments and ended up climbing 30 ranks. So don't feel disheartened just because you didn't do as well in one task, after all there are 2/3 more tasks left.


Now for procrastinating. I still procrastinate even though I really shouldn't... for me, i've found that using a diary really helps me prioritize what is important and what is not, and then figuring out what to do and what not to do. I've had friends that had 2 diaries, one for writing down when their assessments are due, and the other for planning out when they plan on finishing it (i.e. a week earlier). Then they would plan out according to that diary. Also, when it comes to lack of motivation, sleeping at least 8hours is super important! I started going out for a jog/walk before school and it also helped with my mood and my overall attentiveness during school classes.

Honestly, when it comes to motivation, you shouldn't be striving for 1st or 2nd or whatever, but really for the best score you can get. Coming 1st really doesn't mean anything if you don't understand the content and you just rope-learned or crammed. I've realized from math, that the people who come 1st aren't necessarily the people that go tutoring, or have already self-learnt everything, rather it is the people who actually understand the concepts. The skills you learn are far more important than you rank. I'm not saying to disregard rank, but do not feel like you are defined by it.

If you are handing things late that is a bad sign. You either have to much on (i.e. too many co-curriculars) or you have time management issues. Although you haven't been penalized yet, it could have severe consequences later in terms of marks and your own mindset.

Anyway there's no point in crying over spilled milk. Don't forget what happened but definitely forgive yourself for it. Take a break, get your mood back on track. Then use it as a learning experience and try harder next time!!

 

[Jes03]

Hi Akuri,

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time at the moment, but as cliche as it sounds, don't give up because one day, all your effort and hard work will pay off!
I can completely understand where you're coming from, its definitely not a useless thing to talk about. Sometimes you work so hard and for all of this to not be rewarded can be devastating but it means you care so much about it. I think you should definitely take some time for yourself to just relax and not worry about your studies for a bit. Then, coming back refreshed could give you a new perspective of things.
It's definitely hard to manage a heavy academic workload if you have taken on other activities like leadership, part time work, sporting or family commitments, but finding a balance might hopefully relieve some of your stress and burnout.
If you aren't meeting deadlines, maybe reconsider your approach to assessments and if its the best or what you can do to improve. Maybe adopt new time management strategies or planning how each day you might work on one part of an assessment. In the case of English, that might be a paragraph or something like that.
As cchan334 also mentioned, sleep and personal time is absolutely essential! Lack of sleep can lead to all sorts of problems regarding concentration, mood, alertness and just an overall bad head space.
It may be as simple as going for a walk, the gym, watching an episode of your fav show now and then, hanging out with friends - just something to take your mind of your studies.
Definitely still feel that you are capable of handling anything. Just take it slow and one step at a time.
I don't know your personal situation, but at my school there is definitely some competition. But sometimes, just trying YOUR BEST will have the best result for you. Don't compare yourself to other people and want to beat their score. Working to improve your own marks will have more personal satisfaction than anything else, because it shows that you did better. But I can also relate to why you want to be the best.
This is definitely a learning experience. I would use it as an opportunity to see the results of what happens according to the level of work/effort put in. You sound like a high achiever, don't let this one thing get you down! Often when I fail or am unsuccessful at something, I use this as motivation to do much better next time.

"Knowledge is power" - make the most of every day. I really hope you rest up over the holidays and your situation improves