difficult parents (1 Viewer)

[BLIT2014]

So guys, if you are in a bad situation at home once you turn 18 don't feel like you have to stay because there are options even if you are not financially able to help yourself etc

 

[yasminee96]

I think from experience with my own parents, when you realise they're doing it for your own good, you appreciate it a bit. I know a guy whose parents left him when he was like 2 or something, and he always gets annoyed when i complain about not being allowed out or the fact that my rents try to restrict me from social media etc or that they think they can choose my friends. They're trying to set you up for your future (even though i disagree with their methods almost entirely) so that when you do go out there, you don't have to worry about guys perving at you for wearing revealing clothes because the modest clothes you currently wear are what you're used to, you don't have to worry about the cyberbullying and the photos from your past facebooks that almost everyone goes through now haha...and you won't be influenced into doing negative things by the group you're surrounded by. Essentially by doing all this now, they're letting you get through high-school worry free, not many problems (not much fun either lol) and allowing you to focus on your HSC a lot more! Once you get into uni, it's completely up to you whether you even show up. It's your course, you're paying for it, you're learning it, and it's only going to affect you in the future, so you feel that sense of independence. Once you get your license or if you start needing to take public transport and mummy can't hold your hand anymore to and from school/uni, trust me it'll get better.

I find these methods stupid - restricting their kids from doing anything and keeping them locked up in a little bubble so they're never exposed to anything negative in their lives. It's like, seriously, tell me not to do things and i'll just do it behind your back...wouldn't they rather just know what their kid is doing, even if it IS going to affect them negatively? Because either way most of us do go ahead and do the things our rents tell us not to do, am I right? And then if you never get exposed to anything, when you enter the real world you get stumped with all these new experiences and don't know how to react or what to do in dangerous situations, which just gets you in even MORE danger. It's stupid. Guarantee, just like my parents, your parents had WAY less restrictions and did way crazier shit than we ever ask to do. grrrr.

 

[Fawun]

umm ive lived in this situation for almost 17 yrs i know im not misinterpreting. also im not allowed to leave the house without my parents so a pay phone is out of the question and we dont have a school counsellor at the moment. so the best option is to just leavve this world, if only it wasnt sinful. thats all what stops me.

I haven't read the rest of this thread only up to this post but look suicide is the 'cowards' way out and selfish imo. In a few years time when you go to uni and work, you'd be able to save up money enough to move out and live on your own without your parents down on your throat. I'm kinda going through the same thing except they let me go out and do whatever I want (kinda) but they're controlling in other aspects. Just put up with it for now as harsh as that sounds since you can't really do anything but try to talk to your parents more and gain their 'trust'. Easier said than done but yeah hope everything gets better head up!

 

[favvify]

I know it doesn't seem like it when people say it, but I know how you feel - and how frustrating it is for you.

My parents had my computer locked with a program called Net Nanny, all because he found out (through snooping) that I had downloaded and installed MSN and created a hotmail account to talk to my friends. Obviously the first thing that he was worried about was "OMG she is probably talking to 50 year old pedos", so I had to have a parent 'unlock' my computer every 5 mins, my internet browsing history would be sent to him, and my MSN conversations built up in a remote archive for easy viewing (I had no idea about the last one). I could t even play Sims on my own because the computer wouldn't let me open any program without a password, and would quit the game as it required a password every 5 mins.

It was only really up to very recently (like, the middle if the HSC) that he eased up a bit. He still got a little over protective if he found out that I walked 200m down the road on my own to get some cheese for my lunch, but it has gotten better over time.

Now that I'm 18 and starting uni, he's even acknowledged that he will just have to trust me as he can't keep tabs on me 24/7 anymore. He was brought up in an extremely strict Italian family, so that was really his way of showing his love.

And as someone who has been down the dark tunnels of mental illness, I'm going to please urge you not to take a road as drastic as suicide. Sometimes all it takes is time for you and your parents; for you to mature even more and for them to realise that you are an adult and capable of making adult decisions.

Honestly there have been pints in my life that I had been so ready to take my life, even planning and writing letters, etc. I would lash out at my family and be either angry or sad all the time because I just hated myself and had no hope that anything would get better. I yelled this to my parents one night in a fight and they sent me straight to a psychologist. At first I hated it and wouldn't try at all, but then I woke up a little and began to open up to her. She helped me through a lot of my personal demons, and just general things. It was great to have someone there to rant to during the HSC that wouldn't give me the "well the HSC is nothing" lecture. At one point in year 11 a particular girl decided that she had it in for me, and literally tried to make the whole year hate me (I'm actually a really nice person and helped her a lot prior to that, so I'm not sure why). It was only because of my psychologist that I had the courage to tell someone else and put my foot down.

Medicare covers x amount (I've forgotten now) psychologist visits per year if you're referred through a doctor, so I would really advise you to speak to your parents about it and look into it. At the end of the day, they're not going to know exactly how you feel if you don't tell them - at first they may get angry or hurt, but you just have to chip away at them but by bit until you can all reach a state that makes you all happy.

Good luck and feel free to message me if you need anything

P.S. My parents are really amazing people that just wanted the best for me. I was a little shit to them at times, but we call all laugh about the horrors of Net Nanny now