hand_me_my_shovel
New Member
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2023
- Messages
- 16
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- 2024
i get pretty good marks and tend to do all my work at home, but I've bee struggling very badly mentally and physically (have been absent from school for three weeks at a time visiting doctors and constantly vomiting) and that's also linked a bit to my anxiety. I have gone through a lot in the past few years and have developed bad anxiety where going to school genuinely freaks me out, and I thrived best academically (and mentally) during lockdown.
So does attendance rlly matter? my school is aware of my situation and I'm always handing in doctor's certificates and misadventure forms for any tasks i miss out on, and I don't know if i can mentally handle going to school anymore. Its too much.
Are there any alternate options to switching to schooling at home or something? I feel so sick and anxious when i think about going to school.
i think this is linked to how poorly my school managed me when i had an extremely tough period in my life last term, like major panic attacks -- but my parents wont take me to see a psychologist either, so my school understands the 'abusive' situation I'm in (my parents are pretty messed up but simultaneously very accommodating to me not going to school since they can see how much their shit has messed me up, but also wont take me to get mental health (which I'm beginning to guess is just for financial reasons)) and offers me at school councilling, but they are extremely unhelpful and have constantly shoved me into destressing sitatuons and I've been scolded by teachers to the point of tears when they have been ill informed about my situation.
like once they forced me into a councilling session when i was so upset and vomiting that i felt like i couldn't do an exam due to stuff that had happened at home (tmi) and they randomly brought up my brother's suicide (something i had avoided talkug about) which caused and even bigger freak out, then shoved me into my adv eng exam right after where i didn't complete a whole section of the exam because i was choking on myself and freaking out. i got full marks for everything else and my previous assignment i received a 100%, but they didn't consider my misadventure because my failure to complete that part of the task was 'poor time management'. the teacher who forced me into that exam after for some reason feeling the need to bring up my biggest trigger point, told me she was going to give me some 'tough love' or else she was going o call my parents (knowing how badly they would react hearing that I'm getting emotional at school considering how crazy things were at home then and how scary and angry my dad had become)
then a week later, a teacher pulled me out of class and accused me of taking days off school on purpose before tasks despite failing one of the (showing i had no given advantage despite having, previously, a 90% average in it since i was so sick and not well, and when i explained that she accused me further of trying to garner sympathy.
they have since put me in special provisions for my exams but with a school that has urged me to explain how i feel then somehow make me feel like its been weaponised to accuse me of things or make me feel worse (this is just a bit fo what has happened) i don't feel safe at school. i used to see school as a safe space to escape home, but now that I've moved from my dad's house to my mum's, i feel much safer at home. school freaks me out and i need a way to not have to go to school. I keep up with all my content at home and considering i constantly feel unwell due to a medical condition, i would much rather it that way. so is there any way of ensuring it possible then just arriving for my exams? my school is so shit that i do better without a teacher since we never get taught anything at school. i have already been relying on self teaching up until this point.
So does attendance rlly matter? my school is aware of my situation and I'm always handing in doctor's certificates and misadventure forms for any tasks i miss out on, and I don't know if i can mentally handle going to school anymore. Its too much.
Are there any alternate options to switching to schooling at home or something? I feel so sick and anxious when i think about going to school.
i think this is linked to how poorly my school managed me when i had an extremely tough period in my life last term, like major panic attacks -- but my parents wont take me to see a psychologist either, so my school understands the 'abusive' situation I'm in (my parents are pretty messed up but simultaneously very accommodating to me not going to school since they can see how much their shit has messed me up, but also wont take me to get mental health (which I'm beginning to guess is just for financial reasons)) and offers me at school councilling, but they are extremely unhelpful and have constantly shoved me into destressing sitatuons and I've been scolded by teachers to the point of tears when they have been ill informed about my situation.
like once they forced me into a councilling session when i was so upset and vomiting that i felt like i couldn't do an exam due to stuff that had happened at home (tmi) and they randomly brought up my brother's suicide (something i had avoided talkug about) which caused and even bigger freak out, then shoved me into my adv eng exam right after where i didn't complete a whole section of the exam because i was choking on myself and freaking out. i got full marks for everything else and my previous assignment i received a 100%, but they didn't consider my misadventure because my failure to complete that part of the task was 'poor time management'. the teacher who forced me into that exam after for some reason feeling the need to bring up my biggest trigger point, told me she was going to give me some 'tough love' or else she was going o call my parents (knowing how badly they would react hearing that I'm getting emotional at school considering how crazy things were at home then and how scary and angry my dad had become)
then a week later, a teacher pulled me out of class and accused me of taking days off school on purpose before tasks despite failing one of the (showing i had no given advantage despite having, previously, a 90% average in it since i was so sick and not well, and when i explained that she accused me further of trying to garner sympathy.
they have since put me in special provisions for my exams but with a school that has urged me to explain how i feel then somehow make me feel like its been weaponised to accuse me of things or make me feel worse (this is just a bit fo what has happened) i don't feel safe at school. i used to see school as a safe space to escape home, but now that I've moved from my dad's house to my mum's, i feel much safer at home. school freaks me out and i need a way to not have to go to school. I keep up with all my content at home and considering i constantly feel unwell due to a medical condition, i would much rather it that way. so is there any way of ensuring it possible then just arriving for my exams? my school is so shit that i do better without a teacher since we never get taught anything at school. i have already been relying on self teaching up until this point.