Dumped for not saying "i love you" (2 Viewers)

[ogmzergrush]

Put in his position, even that has to be better than being laughed at

If there's any doubt raised by saying "I'm not sure if it's really love yet" it's not really that hard to head it off at the pass by prefacing the comment with "I really like being with you and I take our relationship seriously, but I think love is really important and I just want it to feel just right when I say it". These games with people not saying what they're thinking will be the end of us all, communication is only as difficult as you make it.

 

[FreakTrigger]

He needs to grow the fuck up.

Desperately.

 

[Copacabana NYC]

He needs to grow the fuck up.

Desperately.

Thankyou.

Made me smile again.

 

[ogmzergrush]

Are you guys all just saying that because you somehow think it's going to get your foot in the door over the Internet, or do you really think it's ok for someone to laugh at you when you tell them that you love them?

Regardless of how soon in the relationship it was, I was under the impression you didn't go out with people to hurt their feelings, and if he really meant it when he said, or thought he meant it, I fail to see how anyone could think he's in the wrong. Seems we're always either bitching about guys not saying how they feel or being down on them for doing so. I'm sure this will do wonders for communication on his part next time around

The only circumstance I can see where this sort of reaction would be appropriate would be if he *was* saying it just for sex, but I'd replace "grow up" with "fuck off and die".

 

[Enoch]

wow i was soooo rite....

see wen the roles are reversed and ur on our side(the non brainwashed side) u know wots the go....


HA!~

 

[ogmzergrush]

wow i was soooo rite....

see wen the roles are reversed and ur on our side(the non brainwashed side) u know wots the go....


HA!~

Who are you talking to, and what does that bullshit translate to?

 

[Copacabana NYC]

Are you guys all just saying that because you somehow think it's going to get your foot in the door over the Internet, or do you really think it's ok for someone to laugh at you when you tell them that you love them?

Regardless of how soon in the relationship it was, I was under the impression you didn't go out with people to hurt their feelings, and if he really meant it when he said, or thought he meant it, I fail to see how anyone could think he's in the wrong. Seems we're always either bitching about guys not saying how they feel or being down on them for doing so. I'm sure this will do wonders for communication on his part next time around

The only circumstance I can see where this sort of reaction would be appropriate would be if he *was* saying it just for sex, but I'd replace "grow up" with "fuck off and die".

so you don't think he was in the wrong for breaking up with me coz i didn't say 'i love you back'?

if he was upset when i laughed at him how come he said it two more times? and the last time i acknowledged it and was thankful for it.

anyway, the first time he was drunk..definately was. i was driving, so i just assumed that it was his 'drunkeness' talking coz his mate just proposed to his gf etc etc etc - didn't really want to dwell too much into that but i just didn't believe him then, due to how much he had had to drink.

i didn't intend to hurt him at all. i've been hurt with his actions to my response - or lack off.

 

[Glenn198718]

he sounds like jerk. if you didnt want to say "i love you" back to him you dont have to and he broke up with you because of that. You belong with someone better and someone who can wait for you to say that if you ever do. Stress less about him and go out there and find another fish in the sea

 

[ogmzergrush]

so you don't think he was in the wrong for breaking up with me coz i didn't say 'i love you back'?

if he was upset when i laughed at him how come he said it two more times? and the last time i acknowledged it and was thankful for it.

anyway, the first time he was drunk..definately was. i was driving, so i just assumed that it was his 'drunkeness' talking coz his mate just proposed to his gf etc etc etc - didn't really want to dwell too much into that but i just didn't believe him then, due to how much he had had to drink.

i didn't intend to hurt him at all. i've been hurt with his actions to my response - or lack off.

It seems a little more hasty than I personally would have been, but given what I've read from you I think what he did was fairly justified. I also think that he broke up with you because you neglected to respect his feelings and were hurtful in response to them (Despite that not being what you meant to do), not because didn't say "I love you" back. I think that your seeing that as the issue is probably reflective of the fact that you really just don't get it.

When people are drunk do they a) Do and say things which they would never even consider, because they're a totally different person, or b) Do and say things which they have probably considered while sober but have been held back from acting up by inhibitions? I lean towards B, alcohol doesn't change a person, it loosens them up.

Frankly the rest of your post looks like it's just trying to make the issue about how much you've been hurt. I can understand that, but won't pass comment too much because it looks like you set yourself up from it with the other stuff you've said. You can't shit on other people's feelings then expect them not to return the favour.

 

[ashyoddy]

mate, leave the poor chick alone!

shes probs confused as anything - no offence copan.... and doesn't know how to react. i wouldn't - he just said 'i love you' in the space of weeks let alone first day! mate, thats a tad strange.

girl, totally agree with glenn19.... move on, sounded like the biggest jerk ever!

so many more fish in the sea.

 

[ogmzergrush]

mate, leave the poor chick alone!

shes probs confused as anything - no offence copan.... and doesn't know how to react. i wouldn't - he just said 'i love you' in the space of weeks let alone first day! mate, thats a tad strange.

girl, totally agree with glenn19.... move on, sounded like the biggest jerk ever!

so many more fish in the sea.

She asked a question, I answered it. I don't mean it to sound like an attack, but when I look at what's posted it really does seem that the guy's feelings haven't really been considered at all.

 

[Enoch]

Who are you talking to, and what does that bullshit translate to?

this is a branch off copocabanas other thread ya gimp.

 

[Enoch]

mate, leave the poor chick alone!

shes probs confused as anything - no offence copan.... and doesn't know how to react. i wouldn't - he just said 'i love you' in the space of weeks let alone first day! mate, thats a tad strange.

girl, totally agree with glenn19.... move on, sounded like the biggest jerk ever!

so many more fish in the sea.

werd...the guys a gimp asif u dump a girl cos she didnt say i love u back...and then has a hissy fit...rofl...

 

[ogmzergrush]

this is a branch off copocabanas other thread ya gimp.

I'm aware of that. When you reply half way through it using "you", despite the fact that she hasn't posted directly before your post, it's meant to be obvious who you are talking to? gg.

 

[ashyoddy]

werd...the guys a gimp asif u dump a girl cos she didnt say i love u back...and then has a hissy fit...rofl...

hehe so enoch agrees?

 

[crazyhomo]

what a pansy. how dare he have feelings for you and expect you to acknowledge their existence!

you sound so completely self-centred that you are unable to empathise with how another person may be feeling. and you obviously don't take him or the relationship seriously at all, 'well, im babysitting, so thats that'. you mustn't see a reason to try and keep the relationship going, so good on him for getting out now, rather than waiting later and getting even more hurt

 

[ashyoddy]

well it was bound to happen sooner or later.

i would be gettin my sorry little ass outta there if my bf kept saying to me "i love you" "i love you" "i love you" within the first month of going out.

biggest turn off. no wonder she doesn't want to make amends. she's freaked out. i am by reading it.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

well it was bound to happen sooner or later.

i would be gettin my sorry little ass outta there if my bf kept saying to me "i love you" "i love you" "i love you" within the first month of going out.

biggest turn off. no wonder she doesn't want to make amends. she's freaked out. i am by reading it.

Assuming he's not saying "I love you" to get her into bed - and I'm sure that is not his motive, how can you blame someone for what they're feeling?

Okay, you have committment-phobia and I respect that, but pushing someone away for loving you is such a bitchy thing to do. Do you need to spend a few months desperately vying for the attention of a guy who couldn't care less about you to value someone who feels that deeply for you?

From what I've been reading, his problem is not being in love, but perhaps for not understanding her reluctance to say "I love you" back to him. Understandably he would be upset to have his feelings laughed at, but he might have overreacted. If she wasn't going to be serious and tell him why all she can do it giggle, then he should have been the one to talk to her about why she's hesitating.

The biggest turn off is someone being obsessed with you? Sure, if negligent boyfriends who would rather eat glass than think about being involved in a relationship of more than half a year tickles your fancy, go for it.

 

[Enoch]

hehe so enoch agrees?

yes ...werd=i agree

...for those not fluent in basic ebonics

 

[ashyoddy]

Assuming he's not saying "I love you" to get her into bed - and I'm sure that is not his motive, how can you blame someone for what they're feeling?

Okay, you have committment-phobia and I respect that, but pushing someone away for loving you is such a bitchy thing to do. Do you need to spend a few months desperately vying for the attention of a guy who couldn't care less about you to value someone who feels that deeply for you?

From what I've been reading, his problem is not being in love, but perhaps for not understanding her reluctance to say "I love you" back to him. Understandably he would be upset to have his feelings laughed at, but he might have overreacted. If she wasn't going to be serious and tell him why all she can do it giggle, then he should have been the one to talk to her about why she's hesitating.

The biggest turn off is someone being obsessed with you? Sure, if negligent boyfriends who would rather eat glass than think about being involved in a relationship of more than half a year tickles your fancy, go for it.

you don't necessarily have to express your feelings for someone by saying "i love you" - let alone expecting it to be said back so soon. you can express your affection with other gestures - like gifts, compliments, outings etc.

i wouldn't want my bf constantly on my back waiting and asking for a response for me to say "i love you" - let alone start a fight and a break up about it. that is a scary thing - especially if you are the type of person who would want to mean it. i never even said that the biggest turn off if someone obsessed with you. - but the pressure he put on her is.