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Fav. Teacher sayings? (2 Viewers)

theism

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i remember one of my old teachers went 'ptsshhhhh',

and kind of flexed his biceps , whilst doing those KISS rock signs.
 

HYP

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very quote
my skool principal shouting
"U break a chair, u break a whole community!!!"

our whole class just started laughing so badly
 

sonyaleeisapixi

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"sorry kids, just had year 8. i know, i know. it smells like skank and arse."
 

risole91

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my biology teacher, every friday.

don't do anything dangerous, unless its worth it :|

it makes me lol (at him)
 

speedofsound

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God I just spent about 2 hours reading through this thread lol. Absolutely classic.

Here's some from my school:

There are 2 drama classes, this year my class has a different teacher, but the other class had her last year as well. She says to her other class: "you guys are my children, but my other class are like my adopted children I've been forced to love."

Year 10 Geography teacher: <link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CMELANI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:421950264; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-352802128 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:; mso-level-tab-stop:36.0pt; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-18.0pt; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0cm;} ul {margin-bottom:0cm;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> “My husband and I were playing charades in the holidays and I gave him intergenerational equity… he couldn’t do it”

I used to have this crazy Maths teacher in year 8... she said the weirdest things ever. She always called us chickies.

<link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CMELANI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> - “Chickies, if you’re having a problem with a question, come and ask me because I’m the maths doctor! I treat sick maths! Fully sick maths!”
- "Hey! Chickies! Stop clucking!"
- "Hey! Listen to your mama!"

My year 8 French teacher always used to threaten to jump out the window/kill herself (this said in a Vietnamese accent) if we failed a test.

One of my English teachers (she is a riot):
<link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CMELANI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" images="" smilies="" redface.gif="" border="0" alt="" title="Embarrassment" smilieid="3" class="inlineimg"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com<img src=" images="" smilies="" redface.gif="" border="0" alt="" title="Embarrassment" smilieid="3" class="inlineimg"></o:smarttagtype> Girl is wearing heaps of make up... “<st1:city w:st="on"><st1>T</st1></st1:city>hat make up is ludicrous. You could scare little kids with that make up, it’s not Halloween. I’m serious. That make up is absolutely LUDICROUS. Does anyone know what that means?!”

She always used to say the most random things too...
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:397243347; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:1872426232 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:; mso-level-tab-stop:36.0pt; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-18.0pt; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0cm;} ul {margin-bottom:0cm;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]-->“You know the artist Andy Warhol? Well, my dog is named after him. My husband always calls him Andy Pandy and he always talks to him and I always say, ‘you know, he’s never going to answer.’”<o></o>

HT of Maths telling us about senior Mathematics. "You don't have to do maths next year, but in year 10... your souls are ours."

My Commerce teacher always calls us terrorists/turkeys/turtles/etc.
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OliverQ

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All in asian accent
"Micheal, your maths is so yuck!"
"you make so many silly mistakes, call the ambulance"
Reads out no touching notice:
"shush, talking is a form of touching"


funniest teacher ever heaps more i forget em'
 

allyoop

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Year 8 History teacher: (sees pigeon fly into classroom from open window) Shit! SHIT I said shit!! (covers mouth) Shit!!
 

Beckerella

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speedofsound said:
God I just spent about 2 hours reading through this thread lol. Absolutely classic.

Here's some from my school:

There are 2 drama classes, this year my class has a different teacher, but the other class had her last year as well. She says to her other class: "you guys are my children, but my other class are like my adopted children I've been forced to love."

Year 10 Geography teacher: <LINK href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CMELANI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel=File-List><STYLE> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:421950264; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:-352802128 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:; mso-level-tab-stop:36.0pt; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-18.0pt; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0cm;} ul {margin-bottom:0cm;} --> </STYLE>“My husband and I were playing charades in the holidays and I gave him intergenerational equity… he couldn’t do it”

I used to have this crazy Maths teacher in year 8... she said the weirdest things ever. She always called us chickies.

<LINK href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CMELANI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel=File-List><STYLE> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </STYLE>- “Chickies, if you’re having a problem with a question, come and ask me because I’m the maths doctor! I treat sick maths! Fully sick maths!”
- "Hey! Chickies! Stop clucking!"
- "Hey! Listen to your mama!"

My year 8 French teacher always used to threaten to jump out the window/kill herself (this said in a Vietnamese accent) if we failed a test.

One of my English teachers (she is a riot):
<LINK href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CMELANI%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel=File-List><?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:smarttagtype class=inlineimg title=Embarrassment smilieid="3" alt="" border="0" redface.gif="" smilies="" images="" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:<ST1>T</ST1></st1:city>hat make up is ludicrous. You could scare little kids with that make up, it’s not Halloween. I’m serious. That make up is absolutely LUDICROUS. Does anyone know what that means?!”

She always used to say the most random things too... <STYLE> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Wingdings; panose-1:5 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0; mso-font-charset:2; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 268435456 0 0 -2147483648 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:397243347; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:1872426232 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693 67698689 67698691 67698693;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-number-format:bullet; mso-level-text:; mso-level-tab-stop:36.0pt; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-18.0pt; font-family:Symbol;} ol {margin-bottom:0cm;} ul {margin-bottom:0cm;} --> </STYLE>“You know the artist Andy Warhol? Well, my dog is named after him. My husband always calls him Andy Pandy and he always talks to him and I always say, ‘you know, he’s never going to answer.’”<O></O>

HT of Maths telling us about senior Mathematics. "You don't have to do maths next year, but in year 10... your souls are ours."

My Commerce teacher always calls us terrorists/turkeys/turtles/etc.
<OBJECT id=ieooui classid=clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D></OBJECT><STYLE> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </STYLE><STYLE> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Arial; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:612.0pt 792.0pt; margin:72.0pt 90.0pt 72.0pt 90.0pt; mso-header-margin:36.0pt; mso-footer-margin:36.0pt; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </STYLE>
The French, Commerce and Math teachers sayings sound exactly like the teachers from my school. I think we go to the same school. What a coincidence.
 
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in bio, our teacher had showed us this picture of a whole bunch of dots that made a number, unless you were colour-blind. then the second picture was what a colour-blind person would see, and a girl came in late:

teacher: jaime, can you see a number in the second one?
student: *looks* No.
teacher: you have AIDS.

might be one of those had to be there things, but to our class it was pretty funny.
 

speedofsound

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Beckerella said:
The French, Commerce and Math teachers sayings sound exactly like the teachers from my school. I think we go to the same school. What a coincidence.
haha WGHS yeah?
 
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I swear my legal studies teacher comes out with some of the best shit.
This was a couple of days ago when we got our trial exams back:

TEACHER: So, in the HSC chuck 'Locus Standi' into your response, it'll make the markers cream.
STUDENT: I put it in my trial.
TEACHER: Did you?
STUDENT: Yes, Ha! Found it!
TEACHER: Hmm, maybe that's why I was wet?
 

Freckles14

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At the beginning of Year Eleven this year, our deputy said at our first assembly:

"Going home is not a right, it's a privilege!"

Set the tone for our whole year :D
 

lorikeet

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Ms. BRIGHTSIDE said:
I swear my legal studies teacher comes out with some of the best shit.
This was a couple of days ago when we got our trial exams back:

TEACHER: So, in the HSC chuck 'Locus Standi' into your response, it'll make the markers cream.
STUDENT: I put it in my trial.
TEACHER: Did you?
STUDENT: Yes, Ha! Found it!
TEACHER: Hmm, maybe that's why I was wet?
that's creepy. my maths teacher also talks about what things will make the markers orgasmic. so not right.
 

zeam

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teacher: IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN
 

sonyaleeisapixi

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I had a bit of a bitch about stress and being in a slump. Crying, all that jazz to my mentor.
He listened, comforted me, gave me tissues, annnnd said


"Suck it up, princess."
 

4unitfreak

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My English teacher likes to make the whip cracking sound when someone writes a really good essay/paragraph/sentence. It's a little suss but funny anyway.
 

BamBam90

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During Maths last week. There's a girl in our class who is ranked first and getting band 6.

Student: I'm a threat to [insert name here].
Math Teacher: You're not a threat to her, you're a national threat.

Lol, that was the funniest thing I have heard in ages! :lol: BTW, the student is lebanese.


Not meant to offend.
 

jayciiee

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My economics teacher is classic.

" Nigel, Nigella and Nigelina, Ya'll naughty! "

" Ya'll I don't want yo shrapnel " (Collecting coins to buy flowers)

" Ya'll don't wanna be in this class do you? "

" If i keep rubbing this whiteboard all term, I'll have guns like Popeye "

OH how i love her.
 

Jezzakar

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The science teacher I had in year 8 was a real wanker, still is actually. Every, single, freakin, lesson, he would say "3 2 1, mouths closed, eyes this way". We all ended up saying it with him. He got the shits with us. For my trial exam he was supervising and he said it, hes hopeless.
He also gave us the infamous 'box'. "This is a box" *holds up hands* "See the box. Now listen to whats in the box" *begins to make noise* we were all like WHAT THE HELL.
Another very annoying teacher, a music teacher this time, who, after having her for two years in music and being excited that i wouldnt have to have her again, then took my music class. This one, though she had absolutely no musical talent whatsoever, had to, at every moment possible, flaunt her wonderous skills on the keyboard (not). so, IN DRAMA, when people were being noisy, she would say, "when i play this note *some trill* you will all be quiet" and then play it. needless to say, we never listened.
An english teacher who always smelled of smoke had a habit of yelling "SILENCE" and including with it an arm motion such as you would see when someone is safe in baseball.
My previous modern teacher (best teacher ever) used to go off on so many random tangents and had us all in stiches. he was awesome.
My current modern teacher has an obsession with the 60s and will relate anything whatsoever back to the decade. she also has a habit of when someone makes a point replying with "welcome to modern history". We've been welcomed every lesson.
Drama teacher has the most annoying shhh ever. she gets louder as she goes through it shhhhHHHHH. and she does it EVERY LESSON ABOUT 5 TIMES.
an old geography teacher we swore wore her curtains to school. this combined with her heavily painted on blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick made her a contestant for miss universe.
 

sparkerasp

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lols. This thread is a classic!!!:rofl:

Jezzakar said:
My previous modern teacher (best teacher ever) used to go off on so many random tangents and had us all in stiches. he was awesome.
My English teacher is pretty funny and mostly gets everyone in the class laughing. His famous sayings are:

- I've digressed (he does it a lot)
- Let me tell you a story about my 'so and so' girlfriend back in the days...
- Peace
- What am I saying, How am I saying it and Why am I saying it (a classic that is repeated with him whenever he says it)

and a lot more that I can't think of. He's a pretty good english teacher though.
 
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