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Fear of relationships (1 Viewer)

LoUiE SmOoiE

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Theres something wrong with me, ive had the most decent sweetest guys like me but i turn them all down....i have a fear of relationships, i feel that i dont want a boyfriend coz i dnt want 2 hurt them by breaking up with them...i be really nice and friendly to these guys and they get the impression that i like em back and think that i lead them on when i dnt mean to..its just i make them feel comfortable and open around me, but they take it the wrong way and wen i tell them that i dnt want a relationship they get hurt...but its like im doing this 4 them not myself, i need advice on how to fix this problem of mine

who else has fear of relationships and if so do you know why?
 

SuGa BunI =D

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clapping..jumping....yay, omg.. tanx you for creating this threat, so im not lonely after all. we're commitment-phobic :D
 

LoUiE SmOoiE

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lol thats a good way of putting it "commitment-phobic" ahahha im guna use that....at times i hate being it but at times i luv it...2nyt is a time that im hateing it...
 

SuGa BunI =D

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haha unlike you, i just freak out whenever a relationship commence and just back out straight away.....blah, i think im stuffed up :D...the though of having a clingy bf, annoying fone call, unable to commit for long, fear of being torn by a relationship...ahhh......lets wait for prince charming, dnt mind being princess fiona :p
 
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SipSip

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It's not a phobia or a fear of relationship at all, if you think about it...it is just our rational mind acting up. In a relationship, rational thinking doesn't work, if both thought that they think rationally, they shouldn't spend too much money on going out...sooner or later, things will get boring and the "flare" of the relationship will deteriorate into just a concious problem, fearing that you might hurt the others feeling and thus force yourself to be trapped into this loveless relationship. If rational thought plays up, it'll mean that you just don't want to be trapped in a loveless thing in the future.
And also, to be honest, nice guys aren't what girls are looking for, at least not at this age, nice guys will often say yes to everything (i even admit i'm like that) and will probably end up being a rebound guy at best...it's just how life is...nice guys are the ones who most often truely love the girl, but will most certainly not be a young girls first pick, but will be something that girls regret letting go...
Young girls most often want someone who is fun, lively, and can associate with others, and certainly a confident person...someone who can make them worrie, and angry...because think about this, if you get angry at someone, you will remember them more vividly

So don't worri, it's not a phobia, it's just human nature especially nowadays, to think of themselves before going blindly into a relationship. Remember, if you love someone, you would never think of fearing the split up even before entering it...forget about hurting someone, and just enjoy yourselves, irrationality is what defines true life enjoyment, ever done something that you thought later "damn! i was lucky not to get killed there"...and then you're pretty happy because you survived...if you thought rationally, that wouldn't happen in the first place...if you don't agree, blast me!!

Damn!! that was a long post....
 

[Shadow]

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i'm like that too, i like this girl, and i'm crazy about her
i like her not because of her looks, but rather who she is, and how i am really comfortable and "free" around her..

but i don't think i'll ever tell her cos like what Louie said, i have a fear for relationship. Somehow i feel i am too immature to be in a relationship...i just don't want anything bad happening between us 2.
 

Cyph

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Damn, you really are damaged goods aren't you...
 

hipsta_jess

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SipSip said:
And also, to be honest, nice guys aren't what girls are looking for, at least not at this age, nice guys will often say yes to everything (i even admit i'm like that) and will probably end up being a rebound guy at best...it's just how life is...nice guys are the ones who most often truely love the girl, but will most certainly not be a young girls first pick, but will be something that girls regret letting go...
Young girls most often want someone who is fun, lively, and can associate with others, and certainly a confident person...someone who can make them worrie, and angry...because think about this, if you get angry at someone, you will remember them more vividly
rest assured, there are some of us that want nice guys.
 

pinkblinkbarbie

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hipsta_jess said:
rest assured, there are some of us that want nice guys.
exactly. my boyfriend is a really nice, but shy guy. he is fun he loves to party etc. but he is NICE. he doesnt find fights, he doesnt do drugs whatever. my ex was like that and it found me more toruble than i could handle. i think you'll find, majority of girls want a nice guy.
 

Panda Bear

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ah im not the only guy around here then to be like that :D

i've had girls who like me, make no mistake they are nice and some are pretty, but like you i was scared to get into a relationship. Its happening atm where someone likes me, and yet again i have drawn out... but then again there's plenty of time in the world!
 

~Perfection

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I suppose im the same.. im used to my independence and have a habit of wanting what i cant have and when i get it, im over it (eek, that sounds bad :p)...
 

AsyLum

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hahaha, i have a habit of not seeing what the other person is looking at
 

AsyLum

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both :p

i dunno, i just dont see it to tell ya the truth :)
 

SuGa BunI =D

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do you look like this??


if you dnt then dnt worry, u'l find a wife/gf ..eventually

if you do, hunz, u cn buy a pretti, kinda decent wife from vietnam for 20g lolz :D
 

Lexicographer

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I am too calculating. I will look at the balance of probabilities and come to a conclusion. I see myself doing this every time, and nothing changes. It's quite frustrating to know that you're right, and even though you want to try anyway there's no point and you shouldn't bother.

In fact, I'm in the middle of it right now. I hope she doesn't read this.
 

AsyLum

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SuGa BunI =D said:
do you look like this??


if you dnt then dnt worry, u'l find a wife/gf ..eventually

if you do, hunz, u cn buy a pretti, kinda decent wife from vietnam for 20g lolz :D
haha, i look worse!

*hides pictures*
 

AsyLum

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haha thanks, i try to look my worst!

*accepts award for fugliness*

I wouldnt be here without you Fugly tree.
 

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