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[highshill]

Hi, i am trying to improve my weak grade in english advanced and even though i take tuition and stay in school for additional help, i think i still need help so i am trying my best my self to improve. on this thread i will paste my english stuff like paragraphs and will wait for feedback, (note feel free to ignore my threads as i understand the pressure everyone may be going through to achieve their dream ATAR),
So here's my first paragraph
MODULE A: History and memory Prescribed texts Slumdog Millionaire and The fifthieth Gate

The practical nature of history and memory has been constantly debated however when put together history and memory define one's identity. Identity constantly shapes itself through one's past experiences which is embedded into their everlasting memories. Danny Boyle's film' Slumdog Millionaire'(2008) and the novel 'The fifthieth Gate'(1997) written by Mark Raphael Baker comments on the unbreakable connection of an individual's identity through their use of traumatic memories.

this is my introduction


NOTE:
If anyone else would like to post their paragraph or essay on this thread they are most certainly welcome, in fact i will try my best to provde feedback to my ability.



Thanks,
Sincerely Highshill

 

[pikachu975]

Please edit the spelling and/or grammar mistakes and I'll see if I can provide you with feedback!

 

[pikachu975]

MODULE A: History and memory Prescribed texts Slumdog Millionaire and The fifthieth Gate

The practical nature of history and memory has been constantly debated however when put together history and memory define one's identity. Identity constantly shapes itself through one's past experiences which is embedded into their everlasting memories. Danny Boyle's film' Slumdog Millionaire'(2008) and the novel 'The fifthieth Gate'(1997) written by Mark Raphael Baker comments on the unbreakable connection of an individual's identity through their use of traumatic memories.

- Instead of repeating 'history and memory' in the thesis maybe say 'these notions' or 'these concepts' and possibly replace 'put together' with 'when compared' or 'when intertwined' depending on what sort of meaning you're trying to convey
- The second sentence instead of saying 'identity constantly shapes itself' reword it to start with 'One's past experiences shape identity'
- Third sentence you could add a word to make it flow such as 'This is accentuated/emphasised'
- I'd add a short sentence on each text and break each text into their own sentence to allow this, with each sentence addressing the question
- Could add a word before the novel e.g. 'provocative novel' to add flair
- What does the last bolded part mean?

Hope this helps

 

[highshill]

Note: Feel free to ignore this thread and PM me if you find it annoying (it's completely cool)


Essay question: How does Bram Stoker shapes themes in "Dracula" in relation to the context the book is founded in

Gothic texts often critically examine fear, dread and horror which are used to signpost to the social period in which the book was written and hence provide in speakable knowledge of the norms accepted during the era. Written in 1875, Bram Stoker's gothic novel "Dracula" remarkably explore the connotations of acceptable behaviours during the Victorian era, in which the book was written, as it explores the tale of a blood-sucking vampire who defies and creates "unspeakable" supernatualities which were considered concerning and baffling during the Victorian era.

Throughout "Dracula" science is represented as an impending "abnormality" which can lead to the destruction of individuals, when science is favoured more than the traditional beliefs in superstition. This is clearly shown by Dr Seward a individual who fails to diagnose Lucy's true cause of "supernatural" illness and sceptically argues with Dr Van Helsing on his conduction of "weird" experimentation in order to recognise a proper ailment to the sick Lucy. The symbolism of spell is shown in " but this puzzles me. It is well we have no sceptic here or he would say that you were working some spell to keep out an evil". By rejecting "spells" Seward contradicts himself with the horrific realities of doom and destruction, which are imposed by the supernatural occurances such as Dracula. Seward's close- mindedness, baffles the Victorian audience as they critically view in the horror of dangers evoked by Seward's neglection of resorting to superstitious elements for protection in favour of science. Hence, " Dracula" examines the "dangers" faced by society as they lead themselves astray from the belief of superstious to a path of reasoning which offers no protection when individuals are faced with calamities.


..... More to come later, ;hoping that this time there is a flow and less grammatical errors)

Thanks

 

[highshill]

Please do take your time