Feeling Hopeless...Again (1 Viewer)

[Sunnyindahouz]

im so done with school, i don't know what to do anymore. ive basically read every guide there is about studying and studying tips, and none of it sinks into me. ive been doing to-do lists, but i don't stick to them. ive tried timetables- they don't work at all for me, of course. ive even tried allocating simple but important tasks for each subject for myself to complete that i think id like to do, but i cant seem to make myself do them. whenever i start, i think this is impossible, how can anyone do this, my brain is too shallow to do things like deep analysing links between stuff (which is kinda what hsc is about, esp English). i go to school, and i don't do any work in class- i just read posts about hsc in the hope that they'll give me some kinda motivation. the teachers don't care what we do in class.
ive tried staying without any tech while doing work, but five mins into work, i feel a very strong craving to use it that doesnt go away, and i have tried fighting it for hours, but i end up not being able to concentrate on my work at all and just sitting there. so i dont even want to give it to my parents because ill really get frustrated if i cant use it.
i don't know who to tell- i end up taking out my anger and frustration completely on my parents, who are pushing me to get an atar that now definitely seems out of my reach into a course that's even more impossible for me to reach. i cant complain to them all the time, because they'll only talk about exemplary students and how they probably dont go home complaining to their parents. so the frustration builds up a little more. i don't have the courage to go to a school counsellor, and im too lazy to go to an outside one (as well as having to tell my parents about it if i did go to one). i tell as much as i can to my friends without the very extreme parts, but i don't always want to be complaining all the time, plus they cant even do anything about it anyway.
the only thing i can force myself to do every day is umat practice because its multiple choice and i actually like it. i don't even like studying for any of my subjects, including maths, which had always been my favorite subject. ive also made like 3 different types of notes for the first module in chem and i dont remember any of them (this is an example).
as im typing this, im crying because i know that i would actually be more capable of getting the atar and into the course if i have the right mindset, but i just cant study for some reason. im also crying because in my head the method to getting good results doesnt seem that hard, but when i sit down to try, nothing happens. plus, i have regressed by A LOT in just the span of one year, and ive gotten some of the worst marks ive ever gotten in high school in my term 4 assessments, so theres even more pressure to consistently do well in every subject from hereon in.
stupid as it sounds, everything i hear people doing to maximise their hsc results sounds way too complicated for me to do- when i see it, its almost as if im in primary again hearing about "the big kids who are doing hsc, which is very hard". i am so demotivated from life that im not even sure if im just demotivated or if i want to be not motivated. thats how bad my situation is. so you might be wondering why im even posting this- well, i just need to get my thoughts and feelings out, and hopefully, im not alone here.
im convinced now that im a good-for-nothing lazy bum who'll get kicked out by my parents for sure and i might end up killing myself because im so demotivated from anything. and the thing is, academics is my only strength- i cant even work at a maccas because my efficiency is really low, and im a slow learner, and i would get fired first day. i have only a coupla other things im interested in pursuing as a carrer, but i dont currently have any potential to do them (dont require any real education- i could self-teach but too demotivated ofc). maybe the only job i could hold without going to school is marking homework at a tutoring centre.
also, im not sure how id even be able to live by myself considering i know nothing about finances and the real world.
i dont know if this is all a mental health issue, but i feel like im gonna use this as an excuse for my poor performance at school, and this is not the year for me to be making excuses. but this is the worst ive ever been in my life, and i dont know why it had to happen in my last two years of school. its like all the frustration and hatred of school and education from my whole life has snowballed and ended up in complete breakdown. i guess i should be thankful that i have the privilege of education, but im not even sure if being highly academic is something i ever wanted to be or be portrayed as. if only id underperformed when i was younger, then maybe id have had more motivation today due to everyone else having low expectations of me and hence less pressure.

tl;dr: honestly, i want to be able to do my schoolwork well and make myself and my parents proud and be able to have a stable, useful career. i cant have more than one private tutor, and i already do tutoring for one of my subs (even in that, i struggle to concentrate some of the time). i cant get any work done in a day (i wasted the entire summer holidays), and my parents have no idea how little work ive done because ive been lying to them.

i know i sound like a complete idiot with so many options, and thats probably because i am.

p.s. i dont even get enough sleep (not even in the holidays) because i secretly stay up using technology.

 

[iStudent]

Consider website blockers for study (on phone or laptop or w/e) to force yourself not to use technology.

Sounds like you're going through a lot. Hang in there dude!

 

[captainhelium]

Hey man,

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through all of that. I can definitely understand how stressful the HSC can be and I'll be honest with you, I too was pretty upset during the beginning of Year 12 as I didn't have a very good start to the HSC either.

I didn't do much in the holidays either and I felt extremely stressed since I knew I had many assessments and mid-year exams coming up. However, I decided that I should really change this once school started and I actually tried to make my schedule a lot better - in the end I somehow started to improve more so I would definitely recommend trying to create a schedule/plan for yourself and actually being motivated to stick to it. This is I guess what I did to stay motivated and being concentrated towards it:

- Putting the phone away when I was studying. I often hopped onto YouTube or watched anime in between study periods in the beginning of
Year 12 which drastically decreased my overall productivity. Putting the phone away and also enabling website blockers that can block YouTube
or other social media websites on your computer would help a lot too. This kind of 'forces' you to focus on your work I guess.

- Take frequent breaks between study sessions but remember to get back straight into the work - doing work continuously for 6-8 hours straight
may seem tempting before an exam but it will seriously drain you out and maybe cause you to become more upset. Take your mind off once in
a while by either eating something or just walking around - it relieves some stress when you do that.

- Just talk to someone whenever you feel down - you'll get their perspective which may lift your spirits up and motivate you to work harder as
well. Maybe try to talk to your parents if you can - I know that it seems you're scared of doing that but to be honest, your parents would always
want the best for you. Maybe try to tell them that all this pressure isn't affecting you very well or something like that. I don't know if you should
do that but this is just my suggestion.​

Those were just things that I did and so you definitely don't have to follow them as a strict guide.

And whenever you feel hopeless, just remember that high-school isn't the 'be all and end all'. In this day and age, many employers and university don't really mind/care what your ATAR was. They care more about whether you're a diligent, compassionate and patient person. And also just remember that the ATAR is literally just for university entrance and no one really cares what you got. Once you get accepted in a course you want to do, your ATAR doesn't really mean much.

And also, please don't self-deprecate yourself. Try to enjoy this year and balance your life out with sport, social activities, community service if possible and of course academics. Having a balanced will make the year much more interesting and fun which of course can motivate you to study more - you want to be studying with a positive mindset rather than a defeatist one.

Remember that the battle isn't over! You still have time to fight and smash your upcoming assessments. Remember that Term 4 assessments carry little weighting and so if you just gradually improve you'll do very well Just keep staying focused and keeping to that schedule and you should be fine.

There's still many terms to go with assessments that weigh a fair bit (mid-years, trials etc). Just continue to work hard and change things around and I'm sure you'll do great!

All the best of luck man!

 

[pikachu975]

Do you really want to do well or are you just making it up? If you DO want to do well then you'll already be motivated enough to study. You simply won't do well if you don't study just remember that.

When you get your ATAR result and if you are disappointed you will regret not studying, so just put in the work now and get into your desired career pathway rather than wasting an extra few years transferring etc.

 

[Queenroot]

Honestly sounds like ur doing most of this for ur parents and not out of ur own will

In that case just don't bother

 

[fluffchuck]

Try turning the wifi off on your phone when you're going to sleep, it will help you get to sleep earlier.

 

[Lumenoria]

Hey there,
I know how you feel, trust me - I've been exactly where you are and still struggle to this day. If you want to do well however, there is no excuse, you just have to make an effort - no matter how hard it may seem. That is just reality.

Though, I think you should try to ascertain your own genuine perspective on this goal of yours. It is significantly more difficult to achieve a goal if it's not yours to begin with. Seriously. I'm currently in year 12 too, and I was living in a home where domestic violence was rife since mid year 10. I was coming to school with black eyes with broken blood vessels and bruises down my neck and behind my ear on a constant basis. I was always a good student, but the abuse became so bad that I physically wasn't able to study or do work. Needless to say, I was severely depressed and became highly anxious of literally everything. I moved out alone at the end of last year at 16 and sought financial independence. It has been really fucking difficult because I really am on my own in this. I've been working 25 hours per week during school - up to 60 on weekends - whilst trying to remain academically competitive. It is such a hard life to sustain, and I still live with the psychological torment every fucking day. However, I have dreamed of being at the high achievers assembly (90+ ATAR) and so this has kept me quite driven. I know I want it, so I am willing to work for it. I clock in roughly 30-35 hours of study per week, generally. In preparation for assessments, I would wake up every morning at 5am and write two essays under timed conditions in the week before. Here are my marks and rankings thus far for first term assessments -

English Advanced - 87 - 2nd
English Extension 1 - 76 - 2nd
Mathematics - 95 - 3rd
Legal Studies - 100 - 1st
Economics - 90 - 2nd
Multimedia - 86 - 1st

Yeah, it's not impossible. I'm not even that happy with these marks, and am still actively working to pull my discovery creative which got 14/15 to a 15/15. Point is, always do your best. I don't mean to trivialise your situation by any means, but if you have a safe environment to work in, that is more than enough reason to do well. Everyone goes through a lack of motivation at some stage - after all, the HSC is supposed to be a prolonged period of high stress. Set realistic goals, and ensure that they are your own. Seek out your errors and work on them. Hard work pays off.




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[noname2]

Hi you all !! have some questions and need help from all you all !
So at the moment, I'm doing ESL for my 2018 hsc and I have a friend who is also doing ESL but he had been in Australia for more than 5 years so he is our out-standing student in ESL. He supported to study Extension 1 English but had chosen to do ESL instead. So at the moment, he's doing a prescribed*text from Advance English whereas we're doing a different prescribed*text. so my questions are.

1. If he does that in his HSC exam, Will his exam be considered as an outlier and will be marked differently or has more potential comparing to our exams as my classmates are all doing the same prescribed*text?
2. I heard that in the HSC exam, the HSC markers will be different for each different Essay ( like if you do your essay on a prescribed*text then a particular HSC markers will mark that parts of your essay?) and If yes, Will he get more benefit than us by doing his own work comparing to the rest of us ?
3. What tips to be good at studying ESL cause I'm currently band 4 in ESL and really get struck on the essay writing and how to adapt the question. ?
4. Any recommendations for studying ESL online for AOS Discovery for China Coin book and all ESL stuffs?
5. Should I learn to use more academic words in my essay or strongly focus on the structure of the essay ? ( I'm looking for a high band 5 ESL for my HSC)

APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS !!

 

[Queenroot]

Hey there,
I know how you feel, trust me - I've been exactly where you are and still struggle to this day. If you want to do well however, there is no excuse, you just have to make an effort - no matter how hard it may seem. That is just reality.

Though, I think you should try to ascertain your own genuine perspective on this goal of yours. It is significantly more difficult to achieve a goal if it's not yours to begin with. Seriously. I'm currently in year 12 too, and I was living in a home where domestic violence was rife since mid year 10. I was coming to school with black eyes with broken blood vessels and bruises down my neck and behind my ear on a constant basis. I was always a good student, but the abuse became so bad that I physically wasn't able to study or do work. Needless to say, I was severely depressed and became highly anxious of literally everything. I moved out alone at the end of last year at 16 and sought financial independence. It has been really fucking difficult because I really am on my own in this. I've been working 25 hours per week during school - up to 60 on weekends - whilst trying to remain academically competitive. It is such a hard life to sustain, and I still live with the psychological torment every fucking day. However, I have dreamed of being at the high achievers assembly (90+ ATAR) and so this has kept me quite driven. I know I want it, so I am willing to work for it. I clock in roughly 30-35 hours of study per week, generally. In preparation for assessments, I would wake up every morning at 5am and write two essays under timed conditions in the week before. Here are my marks and rankings thus far for first term assessments -

English Advanced - 87 - 2nd
English Extension 1 - 76 - 2nd
Mathematics - 95 - 3rd
Legal Studies - 100 - 1st
Economics - 90 - 2nd
Multimedia - 86 - 1st

Yeah, it's not impossible. I'm not even that happy with these marks, and am still actively working to pull my discovery creative which got 14/15 to a 15/15. Point is, always do your best. I don't mean to trivialise your situation by any means, but if you have a safe environment to work in, that is more than enough reason to do well. Everyone goes through a lack of motivation at some stage - after all, the HSC is supposed to be a prolonged period of high stress. Set realistic goals, and ensure that they are your own. Seek out your errors and work on them. Hard work pays off.




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humblebrag

 

[Lumenoria]

humblebrag

Lmao really? I'm merely trying to express to OP the significance of self drive in ascertaining high marks under an exorbitance of pressure, both physically and mentally - all of which I have experienced. It's difficult, but very possible as long you ensure your goals are not only those of your own, but paramount. Perhaps you don't see it as such, but either way, I digress.


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[tazhossain99]

Lmao really? I'm merely trying to express to OP the significance of self drive in ascertaining high marks under an exorbitance of pressure, both physically and mentally - all of which I have experienced. It's difficult, but very possible as long you ensure your goals are not only those of your own, but paramount. Perhaps you don't see it as such, but either way, I digress.

or you could've just said, "my ranks are amazeballs".

 

[mantequilla]

Going to be blunt here; you have an awful mindset, and I guess you're aware of that. You are addicted to the internet, and solution seems to be more internet because you're convinced that your problem is motivation and the internet is your fix. I'd suggest that even cutting down your usage throughout the day by half would help you at least a little bit, even if you don't do more study and just hang out with friends, or workout, or anything else would be positive.

 

[Queenroot]

Lmao really? I'm merely trying to express to OP the significance of self drive in ascertaining high marks under an exorbitance of pressure, both physically and mentally - all of which I have experienced. It's difficult, but very possible as long you ensure your goals are not only those of your own, but paramount. Perhaps you don't see it as such, but either way, I digress.


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Good on you tho you've faced a lot of hardship

but essentially it's first assessment type stuff so you can't really judge based on tentative things

 

[Lumenoria]

Good on you tho you've faced a lot of hardship

but essentially it's first assessment type stuff so you can't really judge based on tentative things

Yeah, I completely get that. First term assessments neither make or break you, but seeking out errors and working of them based on such results will really help OP improve for the future. Just sitting there doing nothing isn't going to do anything - it seems harsh, but that's just reality. OP just has to make a start, anything really. And thankyou - I try my best.


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[spaghettii]

OP, I'm no psychologist but I really think you should go see a councilor, even if it's your school one. There's nothing wrong with going to see someone for help and trust me when I say that going to one will likely help you immensely.
Don't worry about others judging you, because fuck them. Get the help you need because it is important to you and ditch anyone who thinks otherwise

 

[laodeming]

prescription for antidepressant now

Not far off the mark to be honest. OP's issues with study and motivation seem to be symptoms of some underlying problems in his life. I haven't seen the OP in person nor am I a proper psychologist, so I strongly recommend he sees someone who can and is.

 

[dagdog]

I agree with the comments suggesting mental illness. I was recently diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety disorder and i related a lot with what i read. I had the same issues with motivation and concentration as well as the feelings that the HSC was out of my depth.

Go and see your school counsellor as soon as possible; if they're any good they'll be immensely helpful. I was referred to headspace my my counsellor and while it's a good starting point, they'e waitlists to see a psychologist are extremely long (can be several months) and since time is of the essence during HSC, if your parents are supportive try go to a private clinic. If i recall correctly, since you are a high school student there are programs available for you that may render these services free or at a reduced cost (psychologists care usually quite pricey)

Ignore some of the discouraging comments that have posted, people can be cruel

 

[dagdog]

Good on you tho you've faced a lot of hardship

but essentially it's first assessment type stuff so you can't really judge based on tentative things

I don't see how any of your comments in this thread are helpful or constructive at all. This is a sensitive issue and mental health can be crippling. Please try to be more empathetic, or just stay out of it altogether.

 

[Queenroot]

I don't see how any of your comments in this thread are helpful or constructive at all. This is a sensitive issue and mental health can be crippling. Please try to be more empathetic, or just stay out of it altogether.

Idk where I attacked anyone's mental illness but ok

I'm being honest

 

[dagdog]

Idk where I attacked anyone's mental illness but ok

I'm being honest

I didn't accuse you of attacking mental illness...