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Funny Exam Answers (2 Viewers)

jazzmuzik

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Re: funny HSC answers?

xoxo said:
i have this one...i dont think its hsc but some of them are kinda funny.
i think i have seen this email ur talking about thought - not sure where.........


Actual misphrased excerpts from student science exam papers
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.

Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.

The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.

The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.

To remove air from a flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put the cork in quick before the air can get back in.

The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.

A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.

The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.

To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.

Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.

Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.

A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.

The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.

The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.

We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.

English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.

By self-pollination, the farmer may get a flock of long-haired sheep.

If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.

Vegetative propagation is the process by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.

A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.

Blood flows down one leg and up the other.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, and not quite so often in the winter.

The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the soul.

When you haven't got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.

It is a well-known fact that a deceased body harms the mind.

Humans are more intelligent than beasts because the human branes have more convulsions.

For fainting: rub the person's chest, or if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead.

For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.

For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

For nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body.

For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.

To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

For snakebites: bleed the wound and rape the victim in a blanket for shock.

For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.

Bar magnets have north and south poles, horseshoe magnets have east and west poles.

When water freezes you can walk on it. That is what Christ did long ago in wintertime.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
This may be the one i remember...
nice responses guys and girls :) ta
 

spence

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Re: funny HSC answers?

here's a couple more i got on that email:

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a
pinhole in it.


He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

"Oh, Jason, take me," she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni student on $1-a-beer night.

She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Sex in the City" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
 

Jezeze

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Re: funny HSC answers?

Those are awesome!!!


Romeo's last wish was to get laid by Juliet.
 

emca

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Re: funny HSC answers?

in an english exam was written
Her singing sounded like music to his ears
 

emca

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Re: funny HSC answers?

university politics exam q - was gough Whitlam a good prime minister?(you have 1 hour to answer this question.

Answer
yes.
 

ahen

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Re: funny HSC answers?

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA
*gasps*
*wheezes*
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg
the english and science ones were soooooo funny! (sorry i couldn't understand some of the maths ones and/or i'd seen them before)
more! more ! more!

oh in my king lear essay i said that "a particularly noticeable aural technique used my Brook in his production was to make Lear appear barbaric through a beastly growl , as though he is coughing up phlegm, before continuing to reprimand Goneril and Regan..."
i don't know...but my friends found it hilarious. Can't have been THAT bad though , i mean i got 17/20
 

Sparcod

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Re: funny HSC answers?

emca said:
university politics exam q - was gough Whitlam a good prime minister?(you have 1 hour to answer this question.

Answer
yes.
ROFL!!:rofl:
 

yoakim

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Re: funny HSC answers?

Hilarious. The English metaphors are so funny.
 

xoxo

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Re: funny HSC answers?

In a university philosophy exam:

Q: Why?


A: Why not?


The student got full marks
 

ahen

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Re: funny HSC answers?

xoxo said:
In a university philosophy exam:

Q: Why?


A: Why not?


The student got full marks
aah yes this is popular one :D
but the question is...is it just an urban myth or is it for real?
 
T

Testpilot

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Re: funny HSC answers?

xoxo said:
In a university philosophy exam:

Q: Why?


A: Why not?


The student got full marks
Thats similar to an example my English teacher always used.

Essay Q: What is courage?

A: This is.
 

cs01001

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Re: funny HSC answers?

I remember in the trial Science SC, some kid drew a four leg table when asked to tabulate results. LOL
 

Sparcod

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Re: funny HSC answers?

Biology exam.

What is a cell?
A place where criminals live.

Where is the tissue located?
In a tissue-box.

Define 'brainwave'.
A wave that's in your head.
 

P_Dilemma

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Re: funny HSC answers?

ISn't that cell one in that comedy movie evolution. The guy adds "the end" to it, tho, i think

-P_D
 

gwright2067

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Re: funny HSC answers?

hahaha. those are awesome. i'm definatly using one of those in some exam. somehow. lol
 
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Re: funny things to write in tests...

hahahahaha when it's like "find x"


Circle the letter "x" and go "here it is!"




teeeheee.
 

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